I understand EXACTLY where you are coming from. LOL
Best thing I can tell you is ignore him when he speaks to you like that or uses the whine and cry method to get what he wants. You will need nerves of steel for the next 2 wks but it will work if you are consistant. Start when he starts whining for something next time. Talk to him as though he is an adult, not a child or with babble talk, and with a straight/calm assertive face saying something like, "I don't understand you when you speak like that so if you need or want something please speak to me properly and I will try my best to help." He may continue to whine, but just repeat the phrase. If by the 3rd time you have said so and he throws a tantrum or continues to whine or cry, walk away. I know it may sound cruel to some, but it works. They don't call it the "terrible 2's" for nothing. LOL I call it "toddler angst" like "teenage angst". He is no longer a baby but he is not really considered a big boy yet. This is where he reverts back to his infant techniques to get what he wants or needs rather than progressing to the "big boy" stage of using his words and/or actions to describe them. Do not give in. If he follows you around, afterwards, whining and crying, then it will be time to calmly but nicely put him in his room for a "break". A break for him AND you. About the 3rd day of inforcing this change, he will start to recognize how his actions cause your "non" action behavior and realize it doesn't work anymore. But, those 3 days are going to be hard on you and him so be prepared for the ultimate tantrum and by that time, on the 4th day, they will become less and less frequent. When you instill in him a way he can control himself and use his mind rather than his physical traits to obtain things, his behavior with the other child or children will be much easier. If he follows you around while you walk away from him at each episode then go ahead and shut your bedroom door and even lock it to keep him from getting to you. Not all day, mind you, but until you hear his behavior subside. Do not talk to him through the door. You can say things like "I'm still here" about every 2 to 3 minutes, but that is about it. Say it calmly and nicely each time.
Sometimes, with toddlers of 2 and 3, they have worked themselves up into such a tizzy they get overly frustrated and it is like a volcano. Best thing I did with my children was to turn rock music up on the radio. Yes, loud. Just enough that you can stand it but loud enough to override your childs tyrade. Start dancing or singing along with the music. The faster and upbeat the music is the better. Stay busy such as dust, pickup, straighten things while it is on. This will actually calm him in his tyrade and he may even join in or leave to retreat to his own room. As long as they know they can get a "rise" out of you then they know they are in control and can get away with that type of behvior indeffinitely.
Time outs are only good for not behaving properly or repeated actions you have consistantly said no to. Never put a child in time out in the same room that others are still playing in. It is embarrassing and they are enticed to get up to play or continue the unrequired behavior. Use an egg timer for 2 - 4 - 6 - 10 minute intervals. While you have them in time out explain to them (yes speak to them as they were another adult you were speaking to) that what they did was not good, what may happen as a result of that behavior such as someone getting hurt or himself, how it feels when he hits or bites (bite them back, not hard but enough they feel it), and also the repercussions of their actions such as longer timeouts, nap, or even stopping everything all together and going home immediately or to their room for the rest of the time the company is there (not more than an hour though). It is only behavior modification. Redirecting with out confrontation nor frazzled nerves.
I hope this will help you and you can finally find the peace you desperately want and probably need.
