Motherfucking neighbor.

J

Julia & Carlos

New member
OK so most of the people in our neighborhood are cool. We get tons of kids in our yard, and they are mostly good kids who watch their mouths and pick up after themselves. Except the neighbors daughter who likes to wander in our yard and house when we are not home and climb the fence and so forth and so on....anyways.

So there is an alleyway between my house and Dickface's. All the neighbor boys, like six of them, were outside playing with fake swords and shields they had made. They leaned their stuff up against the neighbors fence. The asshole comes roaring in with his truck and ran over their stuff. OK not a huge problem. I was walking up to the kids to tell them to quiet down right as he was pulling in. He gets out and was like "I hope I don't have a flat tire" like all nice and stuff. I told the kids not to put their stuff over there any more and gave all the boys a lecture about respecting other people's property...although it is just his fence and not his alleyway. AFTER I went back inside, he comes out and starts yelling at all the boys that they keep throwing trash in his yard and blah blah blah and then he said that all the sticks in his yard were from them---uh, they couldn't be from the five fucking trees in winter in your yard, dipshit---anyways, he then told the boys that if he has a flat tire in the morning someone is going to get hurt. I was so fucking pissed, my options were that I was going over to his house which would likely have ended up in me going to jail, OR I would do the grown up thing and report it to the police. I did the grown up thing, as much as it pained me. The police did nothing other than write it down, of course, but at least now I know that if something happens then this is down in the cop books. It is seriously taking so much of my willpower NOT to go over there and beat the fuck out of that stupid fat piece of shit I am literally shaking with rage it is so fucking hard to type. I however do not want to go to jail, so I'm not going to go pound on his door. However, since that fucking asshole does NOT own the alleyway, I just might park my truck where he always parks his truck in the alleyway. I am just fucking pissed. Who the fuck does that stupid fat ass who probably molests his daughter---those of you who have been here a while might remember her, she's the one who tried talking my kids into playing a sex game with her a few years back that I reported---anyways.....yeah I'm not happy. I think I'm going to line his parking spot with nails. Or paint a big red X and write FUCKTWATS PARK HERE. Dude, nobody but me or their dad talks to my kids like that. Fucking nobody. And considering I had already been out there and told the boys not to do that again, what kind of a pussy ass grown man comes back outside to yell at kids after their mother is gone? Motherfucking fuck fuck I just want to rip his fucking tongue out and shove it up his ass and then reach my hand down his throat and pull his tongue all the way back up to his mouth and sew it back into place to teach him to talk to people with some fucking human decency.

PS: You must select a thread prefix is fucking annoying. Just so you know.
 
I had a similar problem.

My neighbors were riding their four-wheelers on our property which i dont have a problem with. I simply asked them to notify us when they're back there because we like to shoot and dont want to hit a kid or neighbor. Anyway, i was trying to be the adult and just let it all slide.

I'm in the process of building a tree house for my little brother and his buddies so they have a place to go talk about what shit heads parents are, and how life isnt fair and whatever else they wanna do. you know their safe haven. Well i spend hours building the thing all professionally, i even hung a huge cargo net between some tree's so that they could all lounge in it. Well we go out there about a week and a half back and the thing is demolished, the cargo net is missing and there are beer cans and four wheeler tracks, as well as dualy tire tracks. I know who it is... its my neighbor convieniently nicknamed "nutty buddy" because he's a nut case.

So I very sternly let him know that he and his family were no longer alowed on the property. I also told him that if i catch someone back there, im holding them at gunpoint and waiting for the police to arrive. Of course he bowed up and told me about his days in prison and what a nut he still is. To which i replied with a whispering voice all half psychotic "well buddy, im a lil nutty too... i wish you could have seen my work in iraq." I then wide eye'd backed away. He looked at me like "man i dont know what to think of this guy (cause he's twice my size)." I then set up spike strips on the trails that i know he and his family like to ride on (which are on my property) marked them inconspicuously... notified the family of them... and simply waited.

About two days ago... he show's up and says "hey man i hear what you're saying, sombody is fucking shit up on your property, they put spike strips and ruined the tires on my truck." I replied "yeah man... when i catch the son of a bitch that is riding back there I may just put a bullet passed their ass." He says "so it wasn't you who put them back there." me: "nope dont know a thing about it." He left and came back an hour later with my cargo net and an appology. He says "yeah man, the reason i went on your property was to see if anyone was back there that shouldnt have been... then my tires got flat and as i was checking around... i caught the guys who took your stuff. I hope you don't really mean all that stuff about putting a bullet passed someone." I told him "well man, i can't say anything for sure... im tired of dealing with scumbags and fuckups... so maybe they need to be taught a lesson." He says "well man, i hope we can eventually come to an agreement on everything." to which i just looked at him like he was fucking retarded and then turned and walked off. About five minutes after he left... i went and waisted about 200 rounds with my AK to let him know that i too can play the "im a nut fear me" game.

Lord the south is fun.
 
I worked hard on those. :sad:

I would have a difficult time not going over there tonight and putting a nail under one of his tires (or at the very least, loosening a valve stem).

If it will make you feel better you can farm me. :happysad:
 
You know, I thought about loosening his valve stems, but that underhanded sneaky shit just isn't like me. I'm more face to face, I'm not that dishonest. I'd rather punch him in the mouth. Plus I already reported it to the police so I'd rather not do something underhanded like that.

Kr8--LMFAO! Yeah, I bet he caught those guys that messed up your fort...himself and all the leprechauns in his head.
 
there is a solution... its called bleach.... at midnight or so.. whenever most people are in bed.. you take a gallon or two of bleach and pour it in a message on his lawn.. like "I like to fuck boys" or something... at first it does nothing but in a day or two the grass you poured it on turns light green.. but is still alive... the message will be on his lawn for weeks until it grows out or he overturns the grass.

lols had by all...
 
People just like to have something to bitch about. It probably empowers him to scream at beings smaller than himself. Though I did not read your post on the sexytime game his daughter tried to play with your chillens, I wouldn't doubt the fact that he may have sexually abused her, based on what you say. And I rather like your name for him, "Dickface". My parents have nicknames for my neighbors. Butterball and Dumbass (Butterball's the wife).

Suggestion: I would not do anything to harm his property or vehicle or person. Instead, you should sit down and write out a long, angry letter using every combination of cuss words you can think of (some suggestions: cuntlicker, cummguzzler, fag-jina, fucktard), and then burn it, because burning things always makes one feel better. Then write another letter, from the man's perspective, about how sorry he is for being such a winy bitch and for taking his anger about his tiny penis out on those sweet boys who were just being little boys, and mail it to yourself. Then promptly get wasted, so that you forget about writing the letter. Won't it make you feel better to receive a letter from this guy telling you what an asshat he is, and that he likes to wear women's underwear when he alone at home.
 
What a dick, a sneaky thing would be to make him angry. Wait for him to do someting wrong and make him pay in someway, by calling the cops or such. In that way you could get rid off neighbours like that.


When I'm really fucking angry and want to beat someone I usually scream and hit walls with an open hand(or closed), it helps.


*an important thing when writing him a letter, do not threaten him in any way, because if you ever end up against each other in court it would be really bad of him having a record of you being the bad guy.
 
I"m going to park in "his" alley spot soon.

Fucking alley spot lmao.

I can't wait to see him act like a douche...oh wait...he already is a douche and acted appropriately.

I can't wait for.....violence.
 
I say crush up some birth control pills into some coffee and give it to him. The estrogen spike could chemically castrate him.

Thatll teach the bastard.
 
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