K
katiesmommy
Guest
My MIL and I have really never gotten along well.We have been hypocrites and have managed, but we know we hate eachother, atleast I think so!Both my inlaws are not at all good examples for my daughter.She uses foul language regularly,she is a heavy drinker,smokes cigarrettes, and my FIL smokes..........marijuana!For years, since he has been in high school. They think we don't know though.Obviously, I will NEVER, and have NEVER left my daughter alone with either one of them.But they frequently comment on how they will take her once she is older.I am not at all comfortable with this, especially since they do the above things, and drive!!!!
They have not come to see our daughter in 2 months, nor have we visited them.I have recently thought about how uneccesary and innadequate I find my in laws to be, to play a role in my daughters life.They don't show genuine love towards our daughter,atleast MIL doesn't,and they are obviously not a good example.How do I go about this?
I was compelled to give some examples on why I think they don't show our daugter genuine love:
This past Christmas was our daughters first Christmas. I have a large family, and everyone wanted to see our daughter and bring her presents. We decided rather than going to everyones house to visit. we would stay home and let everyone come to visit instead. They did not come to see our daughter on her first Christmas. Mind you, they live 10 minutes away.They didn't even ask us over.
Ex 2: My father in law loves to take pics of our daughter. On one of their rare visits, he was taking pics of our girl, and just spending times with her. My MIL said "I am getting jelous because he is just focused entirely on her and doesn't even notice me". Come on lady!!!! Isn't that really aweful to say about your own grand daughter?
Reaching out is actually what I would like to do, but I am not sure how to go about this. As I mentioned before, they do not know that we know about these things.
Also, she is a HUGE hypocrite. We have had small problems in the past, and she is just a super leiying hypocrite about it.
As for christmas, they did not have anyone over, nor sdid they have dinner with anyone. We know because my husband spoke with them that morning to invite them over. They said they would come, but they never came.
My daughter is 10 months old!! There is no "understanding" fro either part as my daughter is a baby!
We do not go to their house to visit them ,and they use to come to ours to visit, but have not in 2 months. We have also not spoken about why we don't want our daughter over. I am not sure how to do bring it up.
I am not implying they are bad people, they just do things t hat I do not agree with. I am also not at all exagerating the situation. In fact, it is much worst that I have had space to write about. For instance, in addition to the bad habits, their house if filthy. I really mean it. It's movie like filthy. It smells disgusting, even my husbands realizes it. He agrees with me by the way, but for some reason, he says he has no hopes for them, and he doesn't plan on speaking with them to better the situation. I'm not sure what to do as this should be his job. But for the sake of our daughter, I would like to make some attempt at making this work.
They have not come to see our daughter in 2 months, nor have we visited them.I have recently thought about how uneccesary and innadequate I find my in laws to be, to play a role in my daughters life.They don't show genuine love towards our daughter,atleast MIL doesn't,and they are obviously not a good example.How do I go about this?
I was compelled to give some examples on why I think they don't show our daugter genuine love:
This past Christmas was our daughters first Christmas. I have a large family, and everyone wanted to see our daughter and bring her presents. We decided rather than going to everyones house to visit. we would stay home and let everyone come to visit instead. They did not come to see our daughter on her first Christmas. Mind you, they live 10 minutes away.They didn't even ask us over.
Ex 2: My father in law loves to take pics of our daughter. On one of their rare visits, he was taking pics of our girl, and just spending times with her. My MIL said "I am getting jelous because he is just focused entirely on her and doesn't even notice me". Come on lady!!!! Isn't that really aweful to say about your own grand daughter?
Reaching out is actually what I would like to do, but I am not sure how to go about this. As I mentioned before, they do not know that we know about these things.
Also, she is a HUGE hypocrite. We have had small problems in the past, and she is just a super leiying hypocrite about it.
As for christmas, they did not have anyone over, nor sdid they have dinner with anyone. We know because my husband spoke with them that morning to invite them over. They said they would come, but they never came.
My daughter is 10 months old!! There is no "understanding" fro either part as my daughter is a baby!
We do not go to their house to visit them ,and they use to come to ours to visit, but have not in 2 months. We have also not spoken about why we don't want our daughter over. I am not sure how to do bring it up.
I am not implying they are bad people, they just do things t hat I do not agree with. I am also not at all exagerating the situation. In fact, it is much worst that I have had space to write about. For instance, in addition to the bad habits, their house if filthy. I really mean it. It's movie like filthy. It smells disgusting, even my husbands realizes it. He agrees with me by the way, but for some reason, he says he has no hopes for them, and he doesn't plan on speaking with them to better the situation. I'm not sure what to do as this should be his job. But for the sake of our daughter, I would like to make some attempt at making this work.