Sorry if this ends up being a little long, there's just a lot involved, plus I'm really quite tired and confused.
So my mom has been on and off medicine for depression for years. When she's on her meds, everything's great. She's happy, my dad's happy, everyone is happy and no one fights. The only thing she isn't happy about is her weight problem, which is only made worse by the medicine as weight gain is a side effect. Despite this, she (and I'm saying she, not just everyone else around her) is infinitely happier when taking her meds. Well, she's back off them now, and what do you know, she's stomping around the house again like some horrible beast, starting a screaming, yelling fight over the smallest things (and seriously, I'm not exaggerating here at all, just wait). For example, on Valentine's Day, I went to the flower shop and handpicked every single flower out by myself and filled out an entire blank card for her. But upon coming home from work, instead of appreciating my efforts to do something thoughtful on V-Day (I'm just a poor high school student, after all), she accused me of trying to cover up for my father's (who she isn't getting along with right now for many reasons, but nothing serious like cheating) failure to get her anything for V-Day (my dad actually got her a very sweet card. He's struggling financially and she knows it).
And then tonight, after being at school all day, going out to buy groceries with my own money (she said she would pay me back; she didn't, but I didn't mention it), cooking dinner, taking care of the pets, doing my homework AND cleaning up the living room, she overlooks all those nice things I did for her and instead yells at me for forgetting to write my work schedule for /next week/ on her calendar. She then proceeded to call me ungrateful and say I never spend any time with her (this is after I watched 2 hours of TV with her. We also go running every Sat. and Wed. together). After all this, I'd had enough, and blew up at her and said some things that could have been said more effectively in a different situation (like, you know, "TAKE YOUR MEDS" and "you're acting like your mother"). All that earned me was a slap across the face.
Anyway, I don't know what to do. I'm at my wits end here. I feel like this anger she has towards me right now is really a product of financial stress and anger at my father who's never home (...would you want to be around that?), as well as possibly a fear of losing me as I just recently got my first car, a job, and I've been spending more time studying. My mom and I have always been really incredibly close--something caught between best friends and a normal mother-daughter relationship, and these past couple of weeks have really been the first time she's directed her anger at me as opposed to my dad. I just don't know what to do really, and I'm not exactly sure what I'm asking or if anyone is even going to read this... I just want some advice, I guess.
Other things...
- my grandma is bipolar
- my mom has an issue with spending money on me. She pays for everything, and I can't say I like anything in a store because she'll try to find a way to buy it for me, regardless of how bad our situation is. Then later, she uses it as a weapon against me, saying I'm greedy and ungrateful... problem is, I rarely actually ask for any of the things I receive, I always thank her, tell her she didn't have to do that, etc. etc., and I try to repay her in some other way (cleaning up, cooking, etc).
- my dad works 7 days a week at our restaurant to try to make ends meet. She complains about not getting to see him and being lonely and talks about how he never does anything for her, which is perfectly okay, but can't seem to get it through her head that the man is tired. Also, I've tried to tell her before that it bothers me when she talks to me about her problems with dad because she says some really awful things about him, and suggest she talk to my older half-sister about it because that would be more appropriate, but she won't listen. It really does hurt my feelings sometimes, and the other night when she was really mad at him and I was in the room she told me he doesn't love me or have a relationship with me. I know it isn't true, seeing as how whenever my dad has spare time we go to baseball games and whatnot together, but it still hurts.
So my mom has been on and off medicine for depression for years. When she's on her meds, everything's great. She's happy, my dad's happy, everyone is happy and no one fights. The only thing she isn't happy about is her weight problem, which is only made worse by the medicine as weight gain is a side effect. Despite this, she (and I'm saying she, not just everyone else around her) is infinitely happier when taking her meds. Well, she's back off them now, and what do you know, she's stomping around the house again like some horrible beast, starting a screaming, yelling fight over the smallest things (and seriously, I'm not exaggerating here at all, just wait). For example, on Valentine's Day, I went to the flower shop and handpicked every single flower out by myself and filled out an entire blank card for her. But upon coming home from work, instead of appreciating my efforts to do something thoughtful on V-Day (I'm just a poor high school student, after all), she accused me of trying to cover up for my father's (who she isn't getting along with right now for many reasons, but nothing serious like cheating) failure to get her anything for V-Day (my dad actually got her a very sweet card. He's struggling financially and she knows it).
And then tonight, after being at school all day, going out to buy groceries with my own money (she said she would pay me back; she didn't, but I didn't mention it), cooking dinner, taking care of the pets, doing my homework AND cleaning up the living room, she overlooks all those nice things I did for her and instead yells at me for forgetting to write my work schedule for /next week/ on her calendar. She then proceeded to call me ungrateful and say I never spend any time with her (this is after I watched 2 hours of TV with her. We also go running every Sat. and Wed. together). After all this, I'd had enough, and blew up at her and said some things that could have been said more effectively in a different situation (like, you know, "TAKE YOUR MEDS" and "you're acting like your mother"). All that earned me was a slap across the face.
Anyway, I don't know what to do. I'm at my wits end here. I feel like this anger she has towards me right now is really a product of financial stress and anger at my father who's never home (...would you want to be around that?), as well as possibly a fear of losing me as I just recently got my first car, a job, and I've been spending more time studying. My mom and I have always been really incredibly close--something caught between best friends and a normal mother-daughter relationship, and these past couple of weeks have really been the first time she's directed her anger at me as opposed to my dad. I just don't know what to do really, and I'm not exactly sure what I'm asking or if anyone is even going to read this... I just want some advice, I guess.
Other things...
- my grandma is bipolar
- my mom has an issue with spending money on me. She pays for everything, and I can't say I like anything in a store because she'll try to find a way to buy it for me, regardless of how bad our situation is. Then later, she uses it as a weapon against me, saying I'm greedy and ungrateful... problem is, I rarely actually ask for any of the things I receive, I always thank her, tell her she didn't have to do that, etc. etc., and I try to repay her in some other way (cleaning up, cooking, etc).
- my dad works 7 days a week at our restaurant to try to make ends meet. She complains about not getting to see him and being lonely and talks about how he never does anything for her, which is perfectly okay, but can't seem to get it through her head that the man is tired. Also, I've tried to tell her before that it bothers me when she talks to me about her problems with dad because she says some really awful things about him, and suggest she talk to my older half-sister about it because that would be more appropriate, but she won't listen. It really does hurt my feelings sometimes, and the other night when she was really mad at him and I was in the room she told me he doesn't love me or have a relationship with me. I know it isn't true, seeing as how whenever my dad has spare time we go to baseball games and whatnot together, but it still hurts.