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Mixed Feelings
- Thread starter Lokesh
- Start date
Don't worry about it. You don't want to leave your parents, you want to leave your boring high school /town. You don't want to break your girl's heart, you just need to do what's best for you. Whatever you do, don't string your girl along at all. Once you've made up your mind, make sure she understands that.
Going off to college won't make you happy but it could be the change of scenery you need. Go for it.
Going off to college won't make you happy but it could be the change of scenery you need. Go for it.
Mr.Wise Guy
New member
I'm right there with you man. I'll be going to college next year, have the girlfriend issue (she's a junior tho.), I live in Idaho for god's sake, and daddy issues..
All I've got to say is, it's going to happen whether or not you like it. ( I mean, you could always NOT go to college and shit, but that wouldn't be the right decision to make) Just learn how to cope with it. Just remind yourself you're doing this because you need to, it's your life and your future; it's what needs to happen in order to get anywhere. And besides, that sophomore girl will pretty much be illegal once you've graduated. (Or should be if you're already 18..) Just enjoy her presence as much as you can now, and just keep in touch while you're in college. Maybe something will happen later on down the road.
Good luck man.
All I've got to say is, it's going to happen whether or not you like it. ( I mean, you could always NOT go to college and shit, but that wouldn't be the right decision to make) Just learn how to cope with it. Just remind yourself you're doing this because you need to, it's your life and your future; it's what needs to happen in order to get anywhere. And besides, that sophomore girl will pretty much be illegal once you've graduated. (Or should be if you're already 18..) Just enjoy her presence as much as you can now, and just keep in touch while you're in college. Maybe something will happen later on down the road.
Good luck man.
College is the best thing that's ever happened to me. If you pick the right discipline, and engage yourself, you'll be incredibly stimulated. If you just go through the motions, college will be just as boring as high school was. So, it would behoove you to find a subject that genuinely interests you, and tackle it with everything you've got. I promise you, that whatever you put into it, you'll get back out of it.
As for the girl, well, that sucks, but it is what it is. I won't sit here and try to tell you what's best for you, and your life, but, I will say that I think it would be wise of you to leave her in the past. It is a tremendous burden on your college life if you have to worry about your underage sweetheart; not to mention it's a death blow to your budding college social life.
There will be other girls. There will be girls you like much better, even, I promise you. Just be tough.
As for the girl, well, that sucks, but it is what it is. I won't sit here and try to tell you what's best for you, and your life, but, I will say that I think it would be wise of you to leave her in the past. It is a tremendous burden on your college life if you have to worry about your underage sweetheart; not to mention it's a death blow to your budding college social life.
There will be other girls. There will be girls you like much better, even, I promise you. Just be tough.
Let me be Frank.
Seriously, call me Frank.
Ok, I'll spell it for you with 2 simple words:
GO TO COLLEGE.
Seriously. Go AWAY to college. It is important at this point of your life to establish some sort of independence, even if it isn't financial independence. And Yes, You will most likely be breaking up with your girlfriend. THIS IS A GOOD THING. Never, ever, for any reason, ever stay in a long distance relationship when away at college. It will absolutely RUIN your time there. I unfortunately know this from personal experience. And please heed my words ---
College WILL be an eye opening experience, particularly if you are so disillusioned with your hometown as you say you are. Your horizons will not only be exponentially expanded, but you will find a new found love/respect/admiration/or general longing for your home and family while you are away. It is normal, expected, and can even be used as an icebreaker at parties and freshmen events.
My recommendation is to GET INVOLVED. With everything and anything. Join a fraternity, write for the school paper, try out for intercollegiate or intramural sports. Work out at the gym. Form study groups. Sing, dance, act, donate, give, and have fun. The more you do, the happier you will be. Many bonds you form in college become lifelong friendships.
As for your girlfriend.. it isn't dickish to break up with her because you are leaving for college. In fact, in the grand scheme of things, it would be dickish if you stayed with her. Just as you deserve to live your own life to it's fullest potential at school, she deserves to do the same with her friends at home. I made the mistake of expecting a long distance college relationship to work, and now I no longer even speak to my high school sweetheart (someone who, at the time, I expected to spend the rest of my life with.) Knowing what I know now, I would have ended it at the outset, as painful as it may be, and we both would have been happier had I done it.
Good luck. College will be the best time of your life. It is cliche to say, but incredibly true.. as long as you stay focused and stay involved.
Seriously, call me Frank.
Ok, I'll spell it for you with 2 simple words:
GO TO COLLEGE.
Seriously. Go AWAY to college. It is important at this point of your life to establish some sort of independence, even if it isn't financial independence. And Yes, You will most likely be breaking up with your girlfriend. THIS IS A GOOD THING. Never, ever, for any reason, ever stay in a long distance relationship when away at college. It will absolutely RUIN your time there. I unfortunately know this from personal experience. And please heed my words ---
College WILL be an eye opening experience, particularly if you are so disillusioned with your hometown as you say you are. Your horizons will not only be exponentially expanded, but you will find a new found love/respect/admiration/or general longing for your home and family while you are away. It is normal, expected, and can even be used as an icebreaker at parties and freshmen events.
My recommendation is to GET INVOLVED. With everything and anything. Join a fraternity, write for the school paper, try out for intercollegiate or intramural sports. Work out at the gym. Form study groups. Sing, dance, act, donate, give, and have fun. The more you do, the happier you will be. Many bonds you form in college become lifelong friendships.
As for your girlfriend.. it isn't dickish to break up with her because you are leaving for college. In fact, in the grand scheme of things, it would be dickish if you stayed with her. Just as you deserve to live your own life to it's fullest potential at school, she deserves to do the same with her friends at home. I made the mistake of expecting a long distance college relationship to work, and now I no longer even speak to my high school sweetheart (someone who, at the time, I expected to spend the rest of my life with.) Knowing what I know now, I would have ended it at the outset, as painful as it may be, and we both would have been happier had I done it.
Good luck. College will be the best time of your life. It is cliche to say, but incredibly true.. as long as you stay focused and stay involved.
Yeah, it does suck, but like you say, it is something that I need to do for myself and my future. Good luck with your situation too.
Yeah, that's what I had figured - that it will be hard enough to deal with the normal aspects of being on my own for the first time without worrying about my girl.
I realize a long-distance relationship won't work out, or be in either of our best interests. I do plan on getting involved in activities. I know I'll miss her for a while, but I figure that by getting involved, eventually I'll have enough going on to not have time to worry about her.
I'd like to say thanks to everyone for the advice. I had already decided that we would break up before I left, because that would be in both of our best interests. Like you guys said, I need to put myself first at this point in my life. And hearing that that would be the right decision - even if it is from anonymous strangers on a forum - reassures me, especially since some of you have gone or are going through the same thing as me. I could have stay at home, go to a local or community college, and stayed with the girl, but that's really not the right thing to do, for me. I can't live at home with my parents for my whole life, so I figure now is as good a time as any to gain some independence.
Yeah, that's what I had figured - that it will be hard enough to deal with the normal aspects of being on my own for the first time without worrying about my girl.
I realize a long-distance relationship won't work out, or be in either of our best interests. I do plan on getting involved in activities. I know I'll miss her for a while, but I figure that by getting involved, eventually I'll have enough going on to not have time to worry about her.
I'd like to say thanks to everyone for the advice. I had already decided that we would break up before I left, because that would be in both of our best interests. Like you guys said, I need to put myself first at this point in my life. And hearing that that would be the right decision - even if it is from anonymous strangers on a forum - reassures me, especially since some of you have gone or are going through the same thing as me. I could have stay at home, go to a local or community college, and stayed with the girl, but that's really not the right thing to do, for me. I can't live at home with my parents for my whole life, so I figure now is as good a time as any to gain some independence.
stephanie n
New member
Don't get caught up in parties, drinking and drugs. Study hard. And Have fun!
Heather M349
New member
Wait a minute! Don't do drugs like Xanax, Prozac, Cocaine, Crystal Meth. But remember, LSD is not a drug.
A couple of things come to mind that may make you feel more at ease.
#1. Maybe consider the fact that your parents are looking forward to this next step in their sons life, and quite honestly, are ready for you to GTFO of their house.
#2. The pussy in college will be awesome.
#1. Maybe consider the fact that your parents are looking forward to this next step in their sons life, and quite honestly, are ready for you to GTFO of their house.
#2. The pussy in college will be awesome.
CaliforniaGrl
New member
Lol, two very good points. Thanks.
Listen to Farceur, he know what he's talking about. I am in a long distance relationship in college, but I am a junior, so I've already been there and done that and gotten it out of my system and I know where I fit into the scheme of things. Just focus, keep the partying in check, but definitely do party. If you stay outgoing and try to meet people and get into things it really will be the time of your life.
Just curious, what school are you going to?
Just curious, what school are you going to?
misplacedme
New member
Thanks for the advice. And I'm probably going to go to The College of New Jersey, they gave me a decent scholarship. I applied to Penn, but I doubt I'm going to get accepted there, and even if I did the money would have to be right. So probably TCNJ.