Mental cravings...

[trailor]

Here I am almost 2 weeks clean and I just cannot stop thinking about percs... I've had the week from hades, so I'm sure thats part of it. I have zero energy still and just can't seem to get a grip on my emotions. One minute I'm fine, then the next I'm in tears. I have a double ear infection to top it all off, so I'm in more pain than I normally would be from just w\RAB. Why is it so hard this time? I just don't know if I can do this.... Anyone know if xanax just drags the withdrawels out? I'm on that, and thought it would help, but now i'm not so sure. And i sure don't want to get addicted to something else too! Btw- For everyone who asked my little guy is doing alot better! thank god! Still got the ear infection, so he'll be on antibiotics for awhile yet, but hes turning back into his little ornery self. Sorry i'm kinda rarabling tonight, guess i'm just having a bad day.....

 

[mel486]

Oh yea! I know about the cravings that go on initially after stopping - both mental and physical!!!! I used Valium to help me through mine and it seemed to relax me and help. They went on for a few weeks before they finally subsided. I went from craving to thinking about them and now to nothing. This is now 1-1/2 months after I stopped. The other thing I tried was once I noticed the cravings to really hit are, I got busy doing things around the house, went for walks, just did anything to get my mind off of them. The really hard cravings seemed to last about 45 mins - 1 hour for me and then they dropped to being manageable. You have to do something physical, not just watch TV or work on the computer (in my case) - I vacuumed the house nearly everyday, washed the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen, did laundry... When my wife was home we'd going on 2-4 mile walks. Its a stage that you have to work thru - find the post I wrote called "My Name is Oxy". I think it explains a lot.

 

[Secrets1983]

Hey Trailor,

Glad to hear your son is doing better but sorry to hear you are both struggling with ear infections. Those are NO FUN! I have had many of them in my day but after a couple surgeries my ears FINALLY seem to be better!

Cravings... oh boy.. I don't know if you want to get me started about cravings! hahaha I swear... sometimes they can be horribly overwhelming but then sometimes they go away very quickly. I will say this... At the stage you are in they were probably the worst! I had a slip almost a month ago and it happened when I was in a situation where the pills were right in front of me... I started shaking and I just could not control myself.. (they were my Mom's) A craving that practically knocked my socks off hit and that was all she wrote.. I took two and regretted it.. I had worked so hard (117 days I think?).... after that.... The cravings got worse again because the "euphoric" feeling was so close in memory. I got thru it though and then fell down the stairs a few weeks later and the ER prescribed vicodin for all of my injuries. The pain was severe for a while and I asked the ER Dr. to only give me a small amount to go home with so he gave me 10. I took them for the first few days and ended up flushing the last two because I knew in my mind I could do it on my own and the way they made me feel was starting to scare me... I liked it a little too much.. Well, that was last week that all happened and since then the cravings have been bad again... Moral of the story.. don't slip and the cravings will get A LOT better.. You slip and it makes this process a lot harder to deal with...

It's an emotional roller coaster. There are times of great sadness and times of overwhelming success.. And a million feelings in between.... You just have to hang on tight and the energy will come back (the benzo's are probably not helping that cause) I thought my energy would NEVER come back but slowly but surely is has.... Not all the way but this is a process. We did not become addicts over night and we can't expect to be better over night either.

We are here for you always... Keep us updated and I really hope you hang in there! You are worth it and you have come so far!

You will be in my thoughts and prayers!
XOXOOX

 

[magpie1970]

Well, to start, I'm glad that your little ones ear infection is gone. I have 3 little ones and they are prone to ear infections and I remeraber how bad things would get.

Next, sorry that you have the infection now. Isn't it nice to know that your child has learned to gift of sharing?! ha ha ha

Two weeks clean is awesome. Every once in a while I get a craving and can't figure out what triggered it. Like others here, I do things to take my mind off it. Clean the house, watch TV, laundry, exercise or journal.

The newest thing that I started back up is meditation. I am not religious, but I do it for the calming, peaceful sense that it brings me. I don't know how old your little one is (mine are 5, 3 and 20 months), so I don't get a lot of "free" time, but when I put them down for a nap and if I'm stressed out, I take a seat and just breath. If you can focus on your breathe and push everything else out of your head for about 10 minutes or so, you will be more mentally clear and feel refreshed.

I hope that your ear gets better soon. Have you been to the doc for it? You may want to try putting some warm sweet oil (aka olive oil) in the infected ear and laying down, sometimes it can open the canal back up and make you feel better.