Members of WTF: I need your serious, serious help.

C

callenqhranch

New member
This is something I have never had to do before and I need your help.

I normally don't ask for help about things this serious on forums, but the situation is dire.

I've decided to do a mid-life reboot, socially speaking. I just kicked 90% of my friends out of my life.

I got kicked out of my regular high school and got sent to an alternative one. I made new friends there and I want them gone.

I'm not a burnout. All my friends are jobless drug addict chodes who don't have a car.

I have a job and a car and I am building a future in IT. And I am no longer into drugs.

These people have no future.

I'm sick of the immaturity, sick of the dysfunction. I am sick of being above everyone I hang out with. To be truly happy I must reunite with normal people.

Here lies the problem: I realize now what a fucking loser I was at my original high school. I wasn't at the other one (I had changed a lot by then).

There are very few people I knew from there and I am having trouble finding them on FaceBook, MySpace, etc. They would be happy to reconnect.

If I am going to do this, I am going to do this right. All new wardrobe, I need to see my old psychologist again - I need to vanquish the last vestiges of Borderline Personality Disorder, one of the worst curses any human being can ever endure.

90% of my now former friends had it. Maybe one or two didn't. It rubbed off on me.

Enough prefacing. The question I am asking is this:

I want assistance and advice in restarting my life.

I know some people here have done this before. I haven't.

I love you guys. I really do. This has been my e-home for four years and I know when you're not being an asshole, you can get extremely good advice here. I have no one else to ask at this point.

To truly be happy, I must hang around successful people.

Alright. You got me. I work at RadioShack. Not successful exactly.

But I'm building toward something. I already have Network+ and A+. I have four months of experience at a computer repair shop, and after this I will have 1+ years at The Shack.

During this one year reference building lag time I want to learn Linux and Mac.

After 1-1.5 years, I will go into IT and work my way up.

Even at retail I'm building towards something.
 
Here's what I do.

Don't worry about your wardrobe. I still have quite a bit of clothes from high school.

What you look like has no bearing on who you are. However, professionally speaking you're going to have to adhere to certain stereotypes in order to get ahead. If you want to be somebody else, look at what it is you want and emulate it. Simple as that. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. You want to be an IT guy, dress and act like one.

Don't worry about who you hang out with. Don't hang out with anybody and simply concentrate on your professional life. When you start being successful you'll start accumulating friends from your profession anyway. Until then practice being professional. Practice how you will act in your given profession.


Yeah, it sucks. But that's pretty much what I did and it's paying off.
 
Good luck with that, really. I don't have any specific advice, except that this:



doesn't sit well with me. It seems too much like depending on others for your own personality and happiness. My sister does this. (Actually, mostly everyone I've ever met does this.) She's nothing but a reflection of other people. She has no thoughts or opinions of her own. She doesn't know what she likes or dislikes, she has absolutely no self-knowledge.

Don't let other people tell you you're a failure just because they think you're a loser or haven't accomplished anything. Screw that - who needs to accomplish stuff? If you're happy, be happy. If you're unhappy, change something. And you seem to be and are, by yourself, so good luck. :)
 
Unless you take pride in what you do, then accomplishments might be important.

And people that take pride in their jobs are a rare commodity, indeed.

Descent, she's right; don't listen to anyone else if they tell you your job sucks or you're a failure. It's your life, after all.
 
ORLY? This is not smart ass. I have re-booted my life many times in the past, including moving out of state with nothing and nobody. Here's the thing.... you think successful people are less dysfunctional? You think they have less issues and/or drug problems? I laugh at your presumption man.

What you need to do is focus on yourself, work hard at your shitty job, always looking to climb the ladder. You never talk about yourself at work other than the most shallow things. You give up thinking for yourself, and start enjoying the man's shit. Just sell the fuck out, and you'll be richer. With no friends to screw over, climbing the ladder is fairly easy. Put in lots of "free" overtime. Smile at their stupid jokes. Pretend to be someone different, pull all your feelings inside deep in a box, and just keep them there.

If you truly believe the end all be all of life is the "typical" life, a car, a house, a job, and all else is naught but useless trash... then it sounds like you're on the right road. Happiness? Don't make me fucking laugh.

Happiness doesn't come from money or "successful" friends. You can't buy it. Most of the most "successful" people I know are just as miserable as everyone else, they just have more cash to throw around and FAR less time. Happiness is accepting yourself, and figuring out what you want, and going for it. Even if you fail, you can just keep trying. Happiness ONLY comes from within, misery too.

Some of the best people I know are the ones with the shitty jobs, and broken down cars, and past due bills. They're more honest about who they are, what they want, and you know what? They SHARE far more, even when they have so little. So don't assume because you want to meet people who are better off financially, you'll suddenly be happy.

I applaud you wanting to change things. Just make sure you're trying to change it for the better.
 
be yourself. hangout with those who make you happy, not tear you down. do what YOU think is best for YOU. don't let someone else tell you how you are supposed to live your life.

work hard. be successful in all that you do. the only person who can drag you down is you. be strong, be courageous.

good luck with your future endeavors.
 
I don't understand why you are not going to college.

Anyways...it sounds like you are on the right track.

Work, go to school, don't stress stupid shit from stupid people and you will do just fine in life.

PS: I'm relatively happy and pretty fucking unsuccessful monetarily speaking. Don't base success on money.
 
I've bootstrapped my personnel kernel a few times. When I came to the realization that I couldn't afford college I joined the Army (it was either that or become a bank robber). Civilian to soldier reboot. When I finished my contract, I became a college student. While I was enlisted, I discovered I wanted to be a software developer: so my I knew what my major would be. I graduated, and found a good job as a programmer. I got from each stage to the next by figuring out an achievable goal, a plan to seize said objective and keeping my eye on the ball.



I don't think that will guarantee happiness. But, it might help you get some success you're looking for. Then again, what you consider 'successful people' might not want to hang around with you... until you've gained some success. It's a chicken & egg paradox, sort of like job experience. You get experience on the job, but you need experience to get a job.



Getting certifications and credentials are good. Getting experience is better. Come up with a list of places near you that you think would help get you valuable experience. Call them, send them letters. If your resume fails to impress them, offer to work as an intern. Getting paid to sell electronics and working on electronics are two different things. You career would benefit more from doing more of the latter. Figure out a way to that, learn from it and be able to put in on your resume.
 
What you need, is new glasses.

Why?

New glasses immediately change the one thing most everyone recognizes each other with, your face. They can make your personality instantly serious, fun, reserved, business-like, quirky, bubbly, artsy, stoic, lots of other adjectives...

Even when looking at yourself, you get a sense of what it was that you wanted to change, and it's litterally as plain as the nose on your face. When you see them, they're an internal symbol to yourself that you can change, and that you will keep doing what you set out to do.

I've found, over the years, that glasses are useful like that.

Plus, if you have shitty eyes, you can see better, and that's always nice.

Once you got your glasses figured out, try to score some sunglasses too!
 
While I agree with you for the most part JLXC, Money certainly doesn't fucking hurt in the happiness department. My grandfather used to say, "Life is a big shit sandwich. The more bread you have, the less shit you have to eat"
And it's true. Don't get me wrong, I think Descent's original post was unbelievably shallow, and he's got it all wrong. I'm just sayin... If you're trying to be happy with your life, a little success and some green lining your pockets can be a step in the right direction.
 
My grandfather also had a saying about shit. He used to mush all the food together on his plate into a big glob and when the rest of us were grossed out he'd say, "It's all comin' out the same color!" Of course the shit there is implied. But it's still gross. He was also creepy, on top of being gross.

I like you grampa better.
 
It's been awhile since I posted here, but I read this and I went through that phase and I'll give you my two cents..

My breaking point was when I broke up with my first girlfriend, I tried to really look at myself from the outside in and I discovered alot of things that I didn't like about myself. So, being the logical and analytical person that I am, I decided to fix it.

I didn't like my clothes, so I bought some new stuff.
I didn't like my fitness, so I dieted, started martial arts and got into shape.
I didn't like some of my friends, so I decided to end the negative relationships

I basically just changed my persona and attitude. It sounds like that is what you're doing currently. Just keep at it and don't give up. I also use visual reminders around the house, a great one is I have a quote, "Make an effort, not an excuse" hanging above my TV when I'm feeling lazy or whatnot. Just little things like that can make the difference.

The biggest thing I found was that the secret to almost everything in life is balance. Everything in life can be balanced in one way or another. Try to look at everything in your life and try to figure out if it's balanced or not. Work, friendships, relationships, health, religion, damn near everything.

For even attempting a "reboot" is more than most people would attempt. They keep living in their own shit expecting someone else to dig them out. Seriously, good for you. Wish you the best
 
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