Me & My Boyfriend Have Been Together Over A Year Yet Ever Since He Cheated We Haven't

B

Ben

New member
Stopped Arguing, Help? Right, so me and my boyfriend got together over a year ago now however back in January of this year I noticed he started acting strange. Anyway it turned out he had been cheating on me for over a month. Maliciously I then had a one night stand with the same bloke he had been cheating on me with. After this we sorted everything out, so I decided to leave him. We had been broken up for about 6 weeks and we got back into contact with each other and came to the conclusion that we would try and work things out. However, this lasted about a month and then we were back to the constant arguing. 8 Months later and were still stuck there arguing day in day out. We have spoken about breaking up on many occasions but know that we love each other too much to even want to break up. Recently though it has been playing on my mind a lot more, especially since he has started hitting me. But still through all the black eyes, bruises and nose bleeds I just cannot seem to let him go. I don't like being on my own you see and the town I live in there are not many gay people that you can meet. Anyway any great advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks Ben,
 
Uhm, I didn't even need to read the text (although i did), the heading was enough info for me to say this:
The only way forward is to leave him. It-is-not-working. And you know it. Come on. Consider this sentence from my psych-textbook:
"We are attracted to people we have agreed to suffer from". That's all. You are glued to him, you have accepted to suffer and that is the bond. It is not love. It is your low self-esteem. If you had a higher self-esteem you would not suffer. you'd go out and get somebody who treats you right. It is not love, it is habit. and the glue described by my psych book.

I know exactly what it is like as I have been there for the last 3 years and I have just finally gotten out of it. It took a while, the first few weeks were amazingly hard, one of the hardest things i ever had to do. it is like detox. and i thought it was because i loved the guy. once you're over the shock though you start to see clearly.
there is no other advice than "suffer more until you are really down and you'll have to leave" or "be smart, expect suffering but GO GO GO."

"I don't know where I am going but anywhere is better than here. And maybe I'll even find somewhere nice" tell yourself that.
 
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