My husband dont help me with anything i also have a 5 month old baby girl and the 1st 3 months were hell for me because nobody helped me i had to get up every 2 hours to fed her and clean i had to clean the house as well, and he always tells me that im so lazy. So I know what your going through and all i can say is that sometimes we have to sacrifice ourselves for our families. Good luck.
Me and my husband argue every day, he is ungrateful & criticises me about so many
- Thread starter Lilian
- Start date
things. I feel depressed!? We have a small baby and he never offers to get up during the night to feed her, it is always me that does it. He works during the week and said he will do it on a weekend but not once since she has been born has he done this. He might work monday to friday but I'm a full time mum all week including saturday and sunday. I have to actually ask him to feed her before he will do it, and even when I do ask him if it's during the night he will pretend he is cloth-eared or whinge about it. I try to give him advice when he is changing her nappy because he hasn't read any books about how to do it, i.e wash front to back so not to get infected etc.. and he snaps at me and says DO YOU WANT TO DO IT THEN IF U KEEP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO! and he won't take advice, i am trying to tell him to help and for our daughters sake but he doesn't like being told what to do. He is ungrateful that my family want to buy her presents and just appears so unappreciative and won't help me think of things to tell them to buy her as they ask what they can get. However, if it was his family then he would go in a right strop if i wasnt interested and was ungrateful. He calls me miserable and says I have to make an effort to make friends as I have only been living where we are for 2 months, yet the people I want or try to make friends with he bitches about and doesn't like, so i can't win. He says my face looks like a smacked arse, when I can't go round all day grinning like a cheshire cat! He makes me feel so crap and that does make me unhappy and make me not want to smile or have a reason to smile. I just think he wants someone else and thats all i can think about, that he would prefer someone who always smiles, is happy and perfect and that he wouldn't dare talk to anyone else like he does to me. How can he love me when he calls me these things, and a moody cow, you don't talk to someone you love like that. I am so unhappy and need help before I get depressed, because I can see it going down that road and i don't want my daughter to come from a broken home 
Before you get depressed, you already are. Call the Dr. and make an appointment and talk to them about this. This is very normal for a new mother to go through. Since he doesn't want advice don't give him any. Let him make the same mistakes all other fathers have done for years and years. If he doesn't wipe her off that well, just make sure you do it really well the next time. I know you are tired, so lay down when ever you can and take a nap, your body is still healing from having his child. As far as gifts from your family, tell them what you know is needed, and don't talk to him about this. Why start an argument when it can be avoided. Another thing, he is probably feeling left out, because all the attention is going to the baby and none to him. Take the time to find time for just you two, get a sitter for a couple hours so you can have together time. Take some time for yourself, even if it is to go to the store, he can watch her for an hour. Make him feel needed, then he will help more.
One question for you...were you an expert on child care when yr child was born...Ive seen it so many times..that the poor husband has no say in the child..even changing nappies...because he cant "do it right"..it becomes a fight and a chore...just leave him alone with her and let him be a dad...mistakes and all...go and have a nap when he's home and let him take care of her...i mean really take care of her..no rules ...no lists ..just let him be a dad...and give him some time for him...be a wife again...not just a mother...he is working hard to provide for you...you need to give him a reason to keep going...he's snapping at you because he is working nd not getting a happy home comeing...