Married and very little sex?

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wyldfyre

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I am very confused on what to do with my husband. I met him in Dec 07. We got married 9/08. Sex was great until around the time we got married. Now we maybe do it once a month. He is on antidepressants and I know that can affect it, and we have talked about that.

Except for this we have a great marriage. We get along great, love doing things together, and love being together. He is a great husband and I love him so much. This is the only area that there is a problem in.

He says he has completely lost desire because of the meds. He is not on the computer checking porn ( I have checked) or cheating on me. We work together and I know he is not checking out other chicks. It is like that part of him just dissappeared. The doctor said this can happen sometimes where the desire is just gone. I have checked it online too and know it happens.

Has anyone else ever dealt with this? He has viagra, but for him to get to where he even feels like taking it is a big deal. I feel so unsexy. My ex didn't want to have sex with me because he was cheating all of the time. Now my husband has issues and never wants me either. I have a pretty good losing streak going on here.

I am pretty depressed over the whole deal. What can I possibly do to make it feel like this is not all me?
Yes he started taking them a little before we got married. It was for anxiety actually because he worries about everything and his doc stuck him on Lexapro. It is nasty stuff. He talked to the dr about it this spring and he was switched to Celsexa which is no better. His dr wont switch him again for a few months to see if the Celexa changes things. So far it is not...
 
If you were "unsexy," you wouldn't have been having great sex before your marriage. Don't worry about being sexy. As long as your relationship is healthy, you shouldn't worry about being unappealing to him. As hard as it may be, don't worry about the sex and try to do something about his depression. Antidepressants aren't for everyone, so you should see about other alternatives like counseling. Wait on the Celexa like the doctor recommended since it may take awhile for his body to adjust to it, but if it doesn't work in a few months, see about other options. Good luck!
 
This is one of those little known side effects of some drugs. And for you a very sad and hard one to accept, considering your former marriage.
One good thing, if we can call it that, is there are many Anti Depression pills available. Talk to your husband's Doctor, and see if there is one, that will work just as well, without that major side effect.
The last thing you want is to join your husband, on Anti depressants.
One thing, you really have to get into your head, that this isn't your fault. Sure you may have fallen in love with the wrong man, in your first marriage. But you would be joining a club of Millions, judging by our Divorce rates. They say Love is Blind, and that feeling, may go back to Adam and Eve, but let's face it, what kind of choice did those two have. lol
I could suggest, masturbation, but I'm sure, it's not just being satisfied sexually that upsets you, but the love making with your husband, and the closeness that brings to couples.
All you can do, is work around the medical problems your husband has, either with medication, or a Therapist.
Just don't put all the blame on your own shoulders,as you are finding out, that is just totally depressing, and doesn't help your situation.
So, get over that feeling, and try to work positively on your husbands condition.
You may want to consider a Divorce, although, that should be a last stand option. But life is short, and if your husband's condition doesn't change, in a reasonable time, then it may be one option, you have to consider.
Good luck to you both.
 
Ask him to change the meds.
Just jump him anyway (it's like an M&M).
Ask him to ask the doctor to add a small dose of Welbutrin.

A steaming affair would make you feel like it's not you.
Might want to find something else.
 
If the meds are making him lose his sex drive let him know you understand but that you still have a healthy sex drive. Get him to use some toys on you that way you can enjoy while he still gets to participate.
 
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