Made a decision

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iamjohn

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Hello all,
It's my first time ever on this forum. I am a 21 years old guy and currenly in college. I started doing pot 3 years and and then started doing xtacy (mdma) last year (2008) october. I did extacy almost every weekend for one year along with pot. Alot of changes happend to me. When I was on my way doing extacy, I use to thought that if I don't take xtacy then there is no fun in life and used to have similar thoughts. I thought xtacy is everything and I will spend my whole life doing xtacy.

Apparently, some changes that happened to me; like unable to sleep well, scattered thoughts, anxiety, paranoia, less self-control and so on; made me started to think of quitting but I was unable to take any action. So last week I thought I will quit everything on new year and I will stay clean rest of my life. I talked about this to one of my close friend and he told me if I can't quit today then I won't be able to quit on new year either.
I listened to him and now it's almost been a week since I am clean. I am not going to even smoke pot or drink. I had some thoughts of doing it xtacy on this weekend for "fun" and I kept telling myself I won't do it.

I saw this forum and after reading many of the posts, my intention of not doing xtacy ever has become stronger. I don't want to end up being a junkie or a real addict. I had some questions like when this feeling of "I'll do some xtacy" will go away and what other ways I can use to prevent it. I won't even hang around with people who do xtacy or pot just so I can stay clean. I will keep posting here about my progress. :)
 
Hi iamjohn - you picked the right place to be. I agree with your friend - start NOW! Putting it off to sometime in the future doesn't show the commitment you will need. It's going to be a tough battle and you can't retreat.

I've never used Ecstasy, so I don't know that much about it from that stand point, but after reading about it I would suggest that you seek out medical assistance to properly detox from this drug since you have used it so long. There can be life-long problems associated after stopping it and life threatening events that can occur when you first stop. You may want to contact a detox center near you to find out more and to get more information or info on doctors that can help. Most of them will help w/o giving any info over the phone or can even help you w/o money if need be. But, you need their help!

Your want to do Ecstasy now is the drug demons (what I call them) in your head trying to convince you not to stop. They are strong little buggers and will do anything to convince you that you are wrong and to continue your drug use. Don't listen to them. You need to tell them that you're done and start working toward a drug-free life, not only for yourself, but for your family. I hope that you stick to this and see that what you are doing is damaging your body. Please seek out the help you need. Good Luck!!
 
To burst your bubble, if you're been doing ecstasy for a year straight, you already are a "real addict". Normal people never try ecstasy, much less do it that often. I am not judging you; I am an addict too. I'm just sayin... it won't help you to think that "i would be a real addict later" when you are already displaying the signs/thoughts of "real addict" NOW. I am in college too and it's really hard when taking drugs all the time and getting drunk is considered "normal," but if you want it enough, you can absolutely do it. Keep posting and we'll be here to support you.
 
Well digmusic, yes you are right. I never realized I was addict to xtacy till this point and it kinda scares me. I always hated drugs and only started xtacy to "try it only once". But I think everyone makes mistakes and I am glad I made a right decision on right time.
I talked to this doctor and he asked me how was I feeling etc. I told him that anxiety has really got in to me along with paranoia. Sometimes when I used to sleep, my brain/head will just go nurab.
He told me all I need is some anti deppresiants. I am still finding it hard to belive that I did it for a year and I have this feeling of guilt that I should not have started it but oh well. I think now no one can convince me to do xtacy or any drug again.
 
I am glad to hear that you talked to a doctor about it. The anxiety and paranoia are common withdrawals. Maybe the anti-depressants will help - I hope they do! You're doing the right thing and stick to your plan.
 
Stay away from the ecstasy. That stuff will mess with you in the long run, and you never know exactly what you're getting or what it's cut with. Chalk up the last year to crazy college days and experimenting. You don't have to have any regrets about the past, but if you don't be careful, you'll ruin your future.
 
It's been 2 weeks now and I only had a little urge to do xtacy one last time but I won't do it. Depression and anxiety has also decreased just a bit. For two days, I am way too thirsty for no reason. I am drinking water every 15 mins and it still leaves me thirsty. I am not sure if anyone else has experienced this too. I will wait till tomrow then I will go to doctor if it won't fix.
 
Dude! I'm am really happy that you haven't did the xtacy and fought off the urge not to do the last hit. That took a lot of courage. You're definitely on the right track and you still should see a doctor and maybe get on some anti-depressants to help you through the depression stage. Good Job!!
 
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