Candy quotes from the show
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Michael: Ok, that man out there knows stuff about the '47 crash. All right? Stuff specific to me. Ok. So I want to take him around. I want to jog his memory, and to do that, I need the Jetta.
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Maria: I'm sorry. When humans need rides, they take Jettas. And when aliens need rides, they take spaceships. Oh! Find one.
(Summer of 47season 2)
*****
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Maria: "I'm not as flat as I thought I was."
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Michael: Well, it's a wide angle lens, so…""
(From Tess, Lies and videotape)
*****
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Michael: "I've been thinking…"
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Maria: "Great. That usually involves me having to get my car towed."
(From four square)
*****
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Michael: I’m not completely emotionally retarded. I have feelings.
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Maria: All right, then walk ‘em over there and give them a work out.
(From disturbing behaviour)
*****
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Michael: She’s obsessed with me.
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Maria: Well, I guess that makes two of you, then, doesn’t it?
(From Harvest)
*****
Michael: We all got fired.
Maria: Wait. You got the whole department fired?
Michael: Whose side are you on? I didn't get everybody fired. We all drank of the Snapple.
Maria: Wait, "drank of the Snapple." When did we get on biblical terrain here?
(Michael, the guys and the Great Snapple capper, season 3)
*****
Michael is dressed as Santa and Maria as Snowflake, and are entertaining children at a Christmas village.
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Michael: (to Maria) Wanna fetch me a Snapple?
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Maria: What?
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Michael: I'm dry as a bone here. Been talking all day. Come on, Snowflake.
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Maria: Michael, there's no way that I'm gonna-
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Michael: Michael? I'm not Michael. I'm Santa. Paul, don't you think that Snowflake should fetch Santa a Snapple?
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KiRAB: Of course you should. You're an elf.
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Michael: Exactly. And I'll need a foot rub later, too.
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Maria: Uh, you know what, Santa? I think I have a Snapple in my little elf house.
(Maria drags Michael into the elf house)
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Maria: Fetch me a Snapple?
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Michael: You're supposed to be Santa's helper.
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Maria: Oh, that's a load of crap. You're doing this deliberately.
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Michael: Doing what?
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Maria: Trying to get back at me because I broke up with you.
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Michael: Hey, Snowflake, you're an elf. It's your job. Get over yourself.
- Maria: Stop taunting me.
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Michael: I'm not taunting you. Look, the reason that I did this to begin with was to get away from you. You think I wanna be here? Isabel roped me into this.
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Maria: Then we'll keep to ourselves, and we'll be fine.
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Michael: Fine.
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Maria: Perfect.
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Michael: I miss you.
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Maria: I miss you, too.
(Michael kisses Maria- they fall down on the floor kissing, and a kid walks up to the door and sees them)
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KiRAB: It's Santa! Santa and Snowflake are kissing.
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Michael: We gotta hide.
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KiRAB: Gross. Mommy, Santa and Snowflake are doing it. They're doing it !!!
(Samuel Rising, season 3)
*****
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Michael: But I wouldn't trade it for anything. It's meant so much to me, y'know. From day one, from the moment I kidnapped you and stole your car... I knew you were the girl for me. I never wanted anyone else...
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Maria: Michael... (takes a step towarRAB him, sad, but touched.)
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Michael: I still don't. Just... Wherever I'm goin', whatever I'm doin', just know I'll always love you.
…/…
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Maria: I'm not going back, either…/… My future's here.
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Michael: Maria... think about what you're saying...
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Maria: (walks slowly over to Michael.) ...I have, and... this is my choice. This is what I want. And... whatever that is in the end, that's what it'll be... but... we're doing it together.
[Michael studies her and finally smiles, pulling her to him and kissing her tenderly on the forehead.]
(Graduation, season 3)
*****
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MARIA: I want you to know that what I said about you being all shut down and that's why I had to fake the flashes, that was...wrong and very unfair. If something went wrong, it was because of me. I'm the one who's scared. I mean, I fake all kinRAB of things all the time with everybody. It's just you were the first person I actually ever admitted it to.
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MICHAEL: Well...thanks for sayin' that, but it's not really true.
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MARIA: What do you mean?
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MICHAEL: It's not true about you being shut down all the time. I happen to know that for a fact.
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MARIA: Really? How?
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MICHAEL: Because you let me see you. The red sneakers, Maria. One had a Kermit patch on it, and the shoelaces were blue, and you had your dalmatian dog with you there, licking off your tears. And I saw a whole bunch of other stuff as well. Was I right?
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MARIA: Yeah. Um...that dog died when I was, like, 7. Right after my father left.
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MICHAEL: Kinda rough?
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MARIA: Yeah. I'd say so. I really didn't care about the stupid flashes. I just wanted us to be close.
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MICHAEL: Thanks.
(Michael kisses Maria on her forehead and reaches over and hugs her with his left arm)
(Sexual Healing, season 1)
*****
(Michael and Maria are driving back in Maria's car)
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Michael: What?
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Maria: No, it's just kind of funny how surprising things can get. All this time that I've known you, I've just always thought of you as, like, this guy, you know. Like this weird guy from the other side of the tracks going nowhere in life, which, of course, you know, you still are that but...what I didn't realize was that there's this whole other side to you.
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Michael: What, that I'm from--
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Maria: Well, clearly there's that, but putting that aside, underneath that, um, weird, poorly bathed exterior, there's, like, this whole...deeply wounded, vulnerable guy.
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Michael: Listen, all right, in terms of what happened yesterday between us, that was just we were on the road. All right, we talked. That's all over.
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Maria: Of course. Wait. You think something happened between us?
(River Dog, season 1)
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