Love poem, feedback appreciated.?

[Løve Mønkey]

To kiss you
It so breathe

To release you
Is to sigh

To suckle your tongue
your mouthful of mint
Is To drink of the fruit
where sweet words are wrung

To hold you
Is to stand

To watch you
is to cry
Artful poison
In my eye

As it courses
Through my mind
Coursed through my heart
in his stubborn rind

Is to love
Is to live
Is to find

that which is not truly mine

Lovely Laces
beyond compare
Tieth back
your luscious hair

Wrapping hands
Soft as silk
Your mouth
your voice
melodious
The harp and horn's ilk

Take me from here
This dreadful plain
Into your home
The dreaming plane
Can my text not be criticized by the chick who mispelled Fancy with bad english?

 

[silly girl]

cute cute cute.<3
make it into a song! : ]

 

[Kate Alex Bahleef]

Do you want to wake up? This sounds interesting and characters are emerging. I like the verses starting with "Is." Put in a question mark. I get the feeling though that this dream could turn into a nightmare.

 

[Shεℓℓy яεαηα☮]

i liked it [=

 

[Donatela J.]

It be ok but them be lots of words you can use insted of some that fansy talk and the moth of mint be kinda creeps