Lose. Poem I wrote myself about death? Pls read?

[Pangloss]

I'm going to lose my toes, that blows.
I'm going to lose my hands, my glands.
I'm going to lose my nose, who knows?
Kinda puts my snot on the spot.

I hope I'll have my words,
I could do without my turds,
They say at the moment your soul leaves,
Your bowels let go, and your family grieves.
There are other emotions vis-a-vis death than morbid, bleak and unredeeming horror, but that's just me. I'm kinda in a lighter mood, so I could laugh. (I did)

 

[goodtimes93]

It is factual and uses good rhyme patterns.

 

[UchihaGirl]

how should i say it. lack of emotion in it. and try to avoid repeating the same verse. anyway, nice try and try to keep up the good work.

 

[Lisa]

You changed the rhyming sequence in the second verse, which was kind of awkward. Plus, snot and spot don't rhyme if they were supposed to. Interesting... I don't really like it it's weird and not that funny.

 

[Inflatable Pigeon]

i like it.