Looking for some dirty jokes?

T

TheShazbah

New member
Want to see what the most vulgar joke you guys can come up with. There is a reason to this however as I want something to tell my friends who always seem to have some up their sleeve.
Bring on the silliness you sick minded people!

p.s one with a good balance of offensiveness and humour if that's ok. no racism obviously as that's kinda a line you don't cross.
 
1.)
Two housewives got drunk in a nightout...
along their way home they felt their stomach crumpling so they take a 'poo-poo' on a cemetery where they happen to pass by...

The first housewife used her underwear panties as a tissue. The other one found a wreath and made it her cleaning agent.

The day after, their husbands talked and said:

Husband 1: I think we should keep an eye on our wives. My wife
came home last night without her undies on...

Husband 2: My wife is worst. She came home with a card on her
'******' saying: "We'll never forget you, from the guys of
Marketing Department"!!! (",)



2.)
Couple traveling by car, not talking after a fight...

passing farm of goats, mules & pigs. Husband asked sarcastically:
"relative of yours?"

Wife replied: "Yup, in-laws"
 
I was teaching a freshman accounting class. I had told the class about the final exam. I said there would be no excuses for not showing up, barring a dire medical condition or an immediate family member's death.

One smart a s s student asked, "What if you’re suffering from severe sexual exhaustion?" The whole classroom burst into laughter. After the laughter had subsided, I looked at the student, and said, "No excuse, you can just write with your other hand."
 
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