I have written some new poetry and I am very interested in some new fresh opinions. For those who are particular let me tell you, this poem DOES NOT RHYME! If your only piece of advice is that it doesn't rhyme please refrain from leaving that comment. Otherwise I am open to all opinions good or bad.
Do you remember the day you felt loved?
When you rolled over in bed and felt him breathe
Watching his chest rise and fall
The warmth of his breath cascading down your face, warming your heart
Do you remember the day you felt totally alone?
When you reached for his hand and he jerked away
The look in his eyes make you feel so small
The touch of his words on your mind tear your heart apart
Do you remember the day you gave up?
When the only comfort you felt was in a whiskey bottle
You felt the loneliness of every dark room you entered
Running your hand down the barrel of a gun
Do you remember the day you were saved?
When you put that barrel to your heart
That voice that entered your mind that stopped you from the doing the unthinkable
The touch of his hands as he pulled you into his arms
Do you remember the day you felt true love?
When those hands pushed away all the tears
How he looked when he said his vows to you
The remembrance of his touch when he pulled you into his arms
Do you remember the day you felt loved?
When you rolled over in bed and felt him breathe
Watching his chest rise and fall
The warmth of his breath cascading down your face, warming your heart
Do you remember the day you felt totally alone?
When you reached for his hand and he jerked away
The look in his eyes make you feel so small
The touch of his words on your mind tear your heart apart
Do you remember the day you gave up?
When the only comfort you felt was in a whiskey bottle
You felt the loneliness of every dark room you entered
Running your hand down the barrel of a gun
Do you remember the day you were saved?
When you put that barrel to your heart
That voice that entered your mind that stopped you from the doing the unthinkable
The touch of his hands as he pulled you into his arms
Do you remember the day you felt true love?
When those hands pushed away all the tears
How he looked when he said his vows to you
The remembrance of his touch when he pulled you into his arms