loneliness rant, please read, add a link And I'll happily answer one of yours.?

[Bobby N]

I don't know, I can't focus and here's whats on my mind. I'm a 25 year old undergrad, I'm in my this semester at this school, I don't really know anyone and its killing me. I'm a little shy, but actually very funny, I just don't have much of a social circle. Everyone in all my classes seem to know each other, ironic that I tired going to a very large school to avoid that.

More then wanting that group of friends to have fun with I want a girlfriend.Outside of a relationship with a girl that would make Casey Anthony seem well adjusted I have always been single. I'm not a prude, and I'm not even that bad looking, just a lot of moving around, a bad experience, and here I am. I have no one to talk to, and every day seems lonelier than the one before it, and it makes it impossible to even focus on school work at this point. I wanna meet someone, but without a group of friends to meet people through it seems impossible. Every girl I've ever even been close to, hooked up with or whatever happened b/c I met them through a mutual friend, or in a comfortable social situation. I don't know where to start or what to do.

My other fear here is my lack of experience. I don't wanna be some girl's third or forth serious relationship, I'm not saying I'm looking for a virgin, just someone relatively inexperienced too. So that eliminates 25 year old girls, which honestly is fine with me. So want someone younger, no problem, I'm a 25 year old undergrad, everyone is younger. But if a girl wants a first timer too, shes more likely to want another young guy; kinda lie why would a sports team draft a 30 year old rookie, when they could go with the 20 year old. As for the girls that like older guys, they want a guy to lead them through the firsts, they would want someone with the experience of a 25 year old. I don't know, I just feel like my window of opportunity has closed, I'm a realist, I'm getting too old to be have always been single, and I have few friends and no girls I'm even talking to at the moment. I'm scared this is just how it'll always be, because it's how I've always been, with no good reason.

P.S. Please don't tell me "oh you'll find her soon enough."

 

[Mattman]

Honestly, i'm in your same situation. Though, I'll bet I have much less experience with dating and stuff.

Like you, i'm a good looking guy and I know that I have a good personality. But, I just never got around to getting around with girls, haha. I'm about to turn 25, and I feel stunted, too.

The funny thing is, I have a few friends that I know by society's standards, are very ugly. I have one friend who looks homeless, and talks like a robot. But he gets girls! and pretty one's too, who are also smart and funny!

Here's my advice, and this comes from my observations: Do whatever you like to do. Really, it's that simple. Maybe there's an organization or club you can join, that allows you to interact with other people that like what you like. Or, you can volunteer somewhere! It's a great way to meet people, and given the social context, it's much more open to new-comers and far more relaxed. This is what my homeless robot-friend does. He goes to bars to hang out, sometimes by himself, and he finds girls there. They begin to talk, and things work out. (he's not out looking for a quickie, and usually they come to him...probably cause he's so weird looking.)

I'm trying to take my own advice. But I know you shouldn't sweat it. Once you start going out of your way, it becomes impossible!

Good luck.

 

[Mattman]

Honestly, i'm in your same situation. Though, I'll bet I have much less experience with dating and stuff.

Like you, i'm a good looking guy and I know that I have a good personality. But, I just never got around to getting around with girls, haha. I'm about to turn 25, and I feel stunted, too.

The funny thing is, I have a few friends that I know by society's standards, are very ugly. I have one friend who looks homeless, and talks like a robot. But he gets girls! and pretty one's too, who are also smart and funny!

Here's my advice, and this comes from my observations: Do whatever you like to do. Really, it's that simple. Maybe there's an organization or club you can join, that allows you to interact with other people that like what you like. Or, you can volunteer somewhere! It's a great way to meet people, and given the social context, it's much more open to new-comers and far more relaxed. This is what my homeless robot-friend does. He goes to bars to hang out, sometimes by himself, and he finds girls there. They begin to talk, and things work out. (he's not out looking for a quickie, and usually they come to him...probably cause he's so weird looking.)

I'm trying to take my own advice. But I know you shouldn't sweat it. Once you start going out of your way, it becomes impossible!

Good luck.