Little bastard scared the fuck out of me

The other night I was on my friend's couch at a party, playing Risk and drinking, when one of their girlfriends jumped up screaming that something stung her. Everyone jumped up off the couch freaking out looking for a bug and I felt it skitter across my back.
So I swept my hand across my back and came up with this scorpion.
It jumped off my hand and onto my friend William, who jumped up screaming hysterically. It fell on the floor so I crunched it with my shoe.
Then I grabbed two Risk cards to pick it up with and threw it in the garbage.

I was the only calm, non screaming one. I felt manly.
 
Speaking of spiders...

spider-eat-snake-1.jpg



WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK!?
 
And here I was just getting over a panic attack I had earlier due to a Brown Recluse being in a shirt that I was going to wear for work. Ironic that I just HAD to click on a link that HAPPENED to involve spiders.... Now I'm paranoid again. :sad:
 
Ever seen the movie "Arachniphobia?"

I have to check my bed, clothes, lamps, every piece of furniture in my house and clean it until it's spotless every time I watch that fucking movie because of how bad it gives me the creeps that there are little spiders hiding everywhere just waiting to kill me.
 
Yeah. I'm exactly like that when it comes to those fucking brown recluses. I swear they're out to get me. My dryer is in the garage in the backyard and EVERY time I go out there, there's at least 3 of those fuckers on the dryer. At least once a week, I find one in the shower. I've been bitten twice by them. This doesn't happen to anyone else in the house. It doesn't make sense :/
 
The most scary thing about brown recluses are that they are so small. They're not big HEYLOOKATMEI'MGONNABITECHA spiders. They're silent killers. Ninjas, if you will. I had a friend that got bit by one. She has a shit load of scar tissue on that arm now from the venom.
 
I think what's even scarier is the bite is mostly painless until a day later when your flesh is rotting off. By the time you realize you've been bitten by a brown recluse, it's usually too late to avoid disfigurement.
 
I am pretty sure that is what happened to her. She just let it go, thinking it wasn't severe. She knew she had brown recluses in her basement where she slept... Which, mind you, I was always weary about. I would wake up in the middle of the night and make sure I didn't have anything crawling on me when I stayed over there.

I would have had that basement sprayed, swept, and sprayed again if it were my house. I kinda like my limbs the way they are.
 
I would rather be bit by a black widow spider, than a brown recluse. Reason why, black widow is a nice quick death, brown recluse is some hours of pain and flesh dripping off the bone, and then maybe die.
I have a lot of black widows on my property.
I have a lot of these suckers too:
Yvon%20Spider.jpg
 
Congrats! Doesn't having a penis feel great?! Except I have no wiener in this case. Spiders... Oh god... Those things are fucking horrible. I was out jogging once, I was tired as hell. Well, I stop for a rest, and I notice a giant thing on the ground slowly stalking me. I was like, the hell?

I checked it out carefully, got closer... and the fucking thing bum rushed at me. It was a quick GIANT fucker. The size of both my fists, and maybe a foot too. (And I wear size 14 1/2s MO' FUGGAS!) I start fucking RUNNING. I go for maybe a minute and a half, at full sprint. The fucking thing was no more than 16 feet behind me! It was persistent, yet funny because it had its front two legs up like it was Micheal Jackson screaming "I'ma Getchue!". So, of course I haul ass again, watching the thing chase me. I then turn, and put my right foot forward on the ground. It freaking practically leaped at it, I tricked the fucker though. I whipped my foot back in a jump, and came down and curb stomped the fucker with my left! It was actually pretty sick...

Come to find out, it was a wolf spider. There territorial mother fuckers. It doesn't help I have arachnophobia.
 
I don't like spiders either, and I especially don't like one crawling on me, but I don't freak out if they do. I look and make sure when I flick the sucker off, it is going to be flicked good. I kill snakes though.
Oh and uh, scorpions, I like those. I like getting stung by one too, it just feels numb. I must have been stung by scorpions 8 or 9 times in one year when we had em crawling around.
 
Camel Spiders. The true only reason I'm double thinking Iraq. ;D I can take being shot at by Terrorists. It's fucking GIANT dinner plate sized spiders I can't take. But whatever, I'll learn right? Or at least tolerate...
 
I'm not afraid of spiders...i find them disgusting...like they're made of shit...and have legs n' fangs...


Finding a spider in my bed last week fired up my ocd big time...

!!!I spent 48hrs cleaning everything!!!

The pics in this thread can burn in helll :)

This thread is repugnant

{not a judgement on the posters...just spiders :sickpuke:}
 
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