Lines & Lines & Lines...

Looking back at what I submitted, I can see how someone could have made a case that my poetry at that point lacked a certain amount of emotion. My issue is that this was for entry into the Creative Writing program, and I did more than enough to satisfy the set requirements, yet they didn't admit me, and (worst of all) didn't offer any constructive criticism. So this submission I'm going in completely blind to what I did wrong, and hoping that I fixed any issues that I had with my prior submission.

Who knows though. I honestly think that part of it was that, with all I did structurally and form-wise, they may have thought my work was arrogant. Some undergrad coming in and showing them up without (seemingly) any regard to what poetry is and why we write in the first place.

It's all water under the bridge. But, if I am denied this semester, someone is going to have some serious issues dealing with me and "the aftermath" (as I've just decided to call it, for dramatic effect).
 
I used have an idea in mind of what I wanted to write about before I sat down to write, but that's not really a possibility for me nowadays. I'm too aware of how things can be interpreted, so if I write with a specific intention, it comes off as someone writing, who knows how it can come off, thus the language is tweaked in a way that makes it sound less genuine than I mean it to. I just let my ideas flow, and then after I've "finished", I read what I have and try and edit it/add/subtract things based on the direction the poem has taken subconsciously.
 
hmmmmmmmm. Your gonna hate me. I like to wake up and write my poems. I have sleeping issues and it helps when I cant sleep to write. As in accept i'm not going to be able to sleep anymore that day. I usually get four hours on a decent night and six on a good night. I think my body is a little different then others when it comes to how I process sleep.

I pretty much can't hit my second REM stage some nights. Most people have three stages of REM the last usually being interrupted.

I have been getting better at editing...my issue is I have too much to write. I need to cut away a lot, or make it more deliberate.
 
Also, I'm being a good little recluse this week, so hopefully I can catch up with schoolwork (or possibly get ahead). I want to have an ample amount of time to devote to rabroading, reading people's poetry in this forum and offering assistance when needed, and other music or creative pursuits.
 
Everyone has their own techniques that work for them. Now, I'm in an intense editing section for this particular poem. Since it's going to be split up into separate poems (each section most likely becoming its own poem), I'm going to have room to flesh it all out, and be more subtle and (hopefully) less compact and overstuffed with ideas, though I'm aware that the frantic nature of it is one of its strong suits.
 
“Her tattered little legs, worn and abused,
Like a thousand years' ruled over their use.”

Incredible language here, and it’s really indicative of the subtly of the piece as a whole, but it shows the poem’s ability to establish strong images that sound amazing by themselves, but tie into the title/concept so very well.

AAA’s observations are ace. I agree with them, and wish I’d noticed them first. XD

Going to continue to read, so I can find at least something to critique, but as it stanRAB, this first poem is an amazing piece.
 
Try writing Justification right and Justification middle on some of them and see if you can make some discombobulated patterns
 
My first read of "tiny things"... going to have to re-read in the morning when I'm well-rested. Initially, I found myself trying to establish a rhythm with the stanzas and I couldn't find one that was consistent (but I'm sure as to why, because I think this poem isn't trying to be "unitarily rhythmic".

It'll make more sense in the morning.
 
I need to revisit this thread and finish critiquing foreverendeared's poems. I've been pretty exhausted lately...

Anywho, just to update you guys, yesterday I was accepted into the creative writing program at my university!

:)
 
FUCK YEAH....... gratz sir.

:chug: I'm about to post a new one I been working on and gt back to these as well. Been busy....sick GF and mom...go figure. All is better now though.
 
yeah I have noticed no one critques my poems. Lol imma keep posting them. I did the two I just posted this week.

I feel like everyone posts just to have their artwork read and not to help others with theirs.

This forum neeRAB instant messaging.
 
Yeah I've been busy so just now getting back here. Thanks for the kind comments JustJoe. I'm not surprised you had trouble finding a rhythm with "tiny things." There really is no beat to it, it's just meant to be read fluidly, like, say, a Sylvia Plath poem. I've always seen it as my best poem as far as "flow" is concerned. But yeah, there really is no "rhythm" to it.

AAA, I'm gonna go find and read those 2 poems you posted now.
 
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