Letters Of Complaint.

chalice said:
Kev,

much as the idea excites me, I'm afraid other factors preclude my immolation of said female of advanced years and body odour.

The collateral risks of setting fire to her are just too grave to sensibly entertain. Such is the volatile chemistry of her convolution of aromatics, I fear the worst case scenario might involve a detonation of nuclear proportions.

Think of the pretty nurse, applying her make-up, mind firmly fixed elsewhere. The spotty teenaged chap with headphones, that expression of forced aplomb now a second skin to him. The paper-rustling businessman, forlorn and nursing his hangover, avoiding thoughts of his impending sexual harassment case.

And then of course, there's yours truly. I really don't want to die.

A more domestic solution is called for here. Formaldehyde spread liberally under the nostrils should suffice. Failing that, a clothes peg applied to the nose might just do the trick.
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exactly is "advanced body odo(u)r"?

Is it worse than merely, oh, say...incredibly rank? :whistling
 
Dear ZaZu,

for the love of fuck, please stop posting extremely high def pics in the sexy lady fred.

I've had relationships last longer than the loading time for every fucking page you post on.

Resize them or fuck off.

I wouldn't even mind if they were super hawt bitchez but they're fucking mediocre at best.

Yours,

Moi.
 
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