Legendary zero farted on

A

Amers

New member
So I'm sitting here, waiting for the Civ IV HoF map finder to shit me out some good starting locations. My belly is full of yum-yums, and my sweet little dog is curled up in my lap all cozy like.
All of sudden, my monitor starts flicking, the insects outside get quiet, the lights dim for a couple of seconds, and I'm hit with an olfactory onslaught that makes my eyes water. My neighbors' children are crying, the trees outside are wilting before my eyes and it smells like the turds from a thousand toilets were dumped into my room. My Boston Terrier farted. The horror. Too much pain, too much pain.
 
Im pretty sure that dog has nothing on the stench that is Warrick-Ass. Its getting a little better but for a few months it was epic...Worse than D coming home from the field after eating MRE'S for 2 weeks with only maybe 2 hooah baths and no uniform changes and then blowing ass. In front of a fan pointed at my head. During the summer.
 
Yes, and out of D they are worse, hes been kicked out of the gun, had his roomie sleep with his facepro on and been ordered to have a colon cleanse and be checked out by a doc because they thought something was wrong with him.

Hes, uh, manly.
 
I think someone should write an epic poem about this event. It kind of goes with the legendary hero theme. I'm not up to the task, but I'm sure someone here could pull it off.
 
If you really loved your dog, you would stick your nose up his butt and take a big whiff every time he farted, like I did when good ol' Sparticus was still alive. :sad:

At least I'll always remember the fragrant aroma of his gaseous love.
 
My mother tried that on me, but the only problem was, I was a teenager at the time and she was the only other person in the room. She'd still try to deny it though making it a ghost fart cause I certainly knew if I farted.

Wow, dog farts can do some serious damage. I gave Sparky a dutch oven once. She wasn't feeling well so her farts were toxic. One night, she was sleeping under my covers and I heard the tiniest sound coming from Sparky. I knew exactly what was about to hit my nose so I pinned the covers down so I didn't catch any of the stench. The next thing I heard was Sparky groaning and she ran out from under the covers as fast as I have ever seen her run. :lol: poor girl couldn't stand her own fart! What dog can't stand the smell of their own farts!?! Yeah, it was *that* bad!
 
My dog farts, looks at her asshole (still farting), looks at me (still farting), looks back at her asshole (yes, still farting), then she's done. She's a nasty bitch, but hey, she's a good guard dog.
 
Funny story:

So there we were doing MOUT training somewhere in california... couped up like 40 to a room. We all smelled of ass in general because there arent showers during the training (about two weeks long). There is this one marine who is just like a germaphobe and totally disgusted with the smell of an unwashed human. We had been eating MRE's for about a month (because it was a CAX this evolution of training was just two weeks). So this kid gets to sleep next to me... and everyone knows im a trickster and jokester... so when the kid leaves to baby wipe his body down i tell the guys "hey watch when he comes back."

The kid likes to read and take's his poncho liner up above his head with a light so he doesnt disturb anyone else. I motion to the guy on the other side of him to pull his side of the poncho tight so he can't get out. I hold the other side and bare ass MRE fart and dutch oven his ass untill he puked. LMFAO.... ahhhh... good times.
 
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