I'm gay and have been out to close friends for about 3 months now.
I'm home from college on Thanksgiving break... It's 3AM... I'm leaving tomorrow night. And right now I just really feel like.. My mom needs to know.
I haven't told her because of a few reasons... She'll be okay with it. I don't have to fear being disowned or anything... But she has a history of viewing me through "lenses". I'm disabled, and around the time that I was 16-17 looking at driving/colleges... everything was about the disability first, me second. I was suffering from (and eventually diagnosed with) Major Depressive Disorder... and then every mood/thought/action I had tied back to my depression or the fact that I'm seeing a doctor to her. I fear a new "gay lens"... Where she sees every comment I make and every thing I do in terms of my sexuality. She means well, she's very protective, but in being like that she makes everything bigger than necessary.
Second, telling her means her parents find out. They're very close to me. They love me. I'm afraid this is really really going to disappoint them. They're not getting a traditional wedding from me. They're not getting grandchildren/great grandchildren of my own from me... I'm not going to be bringing girls home to them.. When they find out, I'm afraid it's going to be like I'm robbing them of so much... I'll be shattering these expectations....
I don't feel like I can go back to college without coming out... but I'm scared to the point of laying on the floor crying. What do I do?
I'm home from college on Thanksgiving break... It's 3AM... I'm leaving tomorrow night. And right now I just really feel like.. My mom needs to know.
I haven't told her because of a few reasons... She'll be okay with it. I don't have to fear being disowned or anything... But she has a history of viewing me through "lenses". I'm disabled, and around the time that I was 16-17 looking at driving/colleges... everything was about the disability first, me second. I was suffering from (and eventually diagnosed with) Major Depressive Disorder... and then every mood/thought/action I had tied back to my depression or the fact that I'm seeing a doctor to her. I fear a new "gay lens"... Where she sees every comment I make and every thing I do in terms of my sexuality. She means well, she's very protective, but in being like that she makes everything bigger than necessary.
Second, telling her means her parents find out. They're very close to me. They love me. I'm afraid this is really really going to disappoint them. They're not getting a traditional wedding from me. They're not getting grandchildren/great grandchildren of my own from me... I'm not going to be bringing girls home to them.. When they find out, I'm afraid it's going to be like I'm robbing them of so much... I'll be shattering these expectations....
I don't feel like I can go back to college without coming out... but I'm scared to the point of laying on the floor crying. What do I do?