I took it to the mechanics in Downtown today; some cheapass place...kinda like a junk shop. But they've worked out kinks in it before and it has cost me way less than usual.
They told me that it was a problem with the ignition.
Here is a brief summary of the conversation for the curious:
Refresh: "Ignition? Well, yeah, obviously. The car won't start sometimes."
Mechanic: "Yeah; we're gonna need to install a new engine."
Refresh: -laughs- "New engine? For an ignition problem?"
Mechanic: "It's affected the entire system."
At that point, I left without another word. I'm guessing I need to find a new garage fast. It's been working fine so far anyway. I'll give it another 20k miles then trade it in for a Lamborghini.
FTW.