last question was a rant, sorry, i'm separated and sad?

  • Thread starter Thread starter walking in l.a.
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walking in l.a.

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i have done everything possible to "win her back." sobriety was a major issue, fixed it. married, we been together about 20 years, 4 kids, i have been irresponsible with money, so has she. i get the blame, i accept it. anyway, she spends all her free time with me, weekends, evenings, always have fun, going out to movies, concerts, movies at her apt, dinners, lunches. it's more real quality time than we ever spent together before the separation (3 1/2 months ago). i'm frustrated because she doesn't seem to acknowledge my efforts, although the do make a difference in how we are together. i love her and i KNOW she loves me. she's an independent spirit, and would file for divorce if that's what she wanted....whew long winded. maybe females could answer this one better: why would she hold back? why not initiate reconciliation, we're always together, never fight. what do you think?
attending AA sober 130-plus days
also seeing individual counselor.
 
She might be trying to see if you are in it for the long haul or just until she comes back. 130 days in commendable for you, good job, but it is not a long time to a sober person. Keep up the good work and prove you are in it for good.
 
She ie evaluating, if this a real and lasting change or not. She is debating with herself,'Is it really safe to drop my gaurd?
Evidently,she was hurt more than you realize and she will not willingly suucumb until every doubt has vanished.

You seem to be doing well. Good for you, but if you truly want her back you need to be patient and jump thru some loops for her.

Actions speak louder than words, make sure you actions are consistantly honoring/respecting/adoring her.

Good Luck
 
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