Ladybug - I'm back - my back is still on vacation though...

  • Thread starter Thread starter deb53
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Hello Ladybug,

Any news yet? I'm anxiously waiting to hear how your appt went?

I'm sorry I didn't post over the weekend. My doctor increased my pain meRAB not long ago and I've been having a difficult time getting use to the higher dose...to say the least, it was a LONG weekend. I'll explain it a little better later, after I know what your future holRAB...lol...a future, I hope that is much better than mine :D.

Take care,
Scrappi
 
Ladybug,
I'm sure you are just furious :mad: You have waited so long for this appt and then to have the doctor be so abrupt and uncaring! I am so sorry for you. What does he feel the problem is? Does he want to do a fusion, laminectomy? I'll have to think about this one! I'm not sure what I think you should do. Bummer girlfriend :( Hang in there and see what kind of responses you get from your spiney buddies! I'll catch up with you later.

Deb
 
Hi Ladybug :),

How are you feeling today? Today I feel great, which surprises me b/c today is day 3 on my current patch and usually on day 3 I experience some nausea and pain b/c the fentanyl in the patch is no longer at its peak, it's on a downward spiral, meaning I can experience mild withdrawal symptoms. At my next appt, not until 03.14.08, I plan to ask my doctor about applying a new patch every 48 hrs instead of every 72 hrs. I have learned alot about how the patch works from the chronic pain veterans over on the PM board..they have been patient and answered all of my questions...there are some wonderful people over there...I don't know what I would have done without their help. I am getting use to the patch...every day is a better day, in fact yesterday I did not experience any nausea whatsoever...it was a nice day...LOL...unfortunately today I had 1 small nausea episode, but 1 episode is nothing compared to what I went through last week! My doctor is still prescribing for me 3 percocet a day for breakthrough pain, when I was still on oxy I would take pecocet to take the edge off my severe pain, now when I take a percocet it actually takes most of my pain away...it's so nice to have my pain under control most of the time...I had gone so long without my pain being properly controlled that I think I forgot what it feels like to not be in severe pain all the time...Ladybug, it's wonderful and I know you'll find out for yourself very soon, I just know it!

How did you get your RX account reactivated? What pain med are you taking? I'm glad you have something to take, something has to be better than nothing. Your pain must be bad if you're using them, I know all about your crazy high pain tolerance....I also know what you mean when you say the pills make you groggy and feel out of it but don't touch your pain...that sounRAB so familiar to me. I can't wait until you see your neuro on the 17th, you do still have the same appt, right? I'm still praying he's a great doctor - a great surgeon w/a great beRABide manner.

I knew you had to be southern...I could tell by the way you word things...lol, have you always lived in NC? Is it warm there? I bet you have a tan all year round. I live in Ohio...the weather is never predictable here, 1 day it can be 60 degrees and the next it's in the 20's and snowing. Considering how big the United States is, we aren't that far apart, maybe when it gets warmer outside, you can open a window and smell my coffee brewing...LOL.

I'm glad you and your family haven't caught the flu bug, I hope you don't...I wouldn't wish that on anyone...my grandparents live in Florida during the winter months (like every other elderly person) and they both caught the flu this year, my grandma said alot of old people have the flu down there this year.

I was sad little E was sick at his birthday party too but there was one moment from his party that will forever replay in my mind...first let me explain that E's not the type of child that is deliberately always trying to get your attention, he is instead more of a loner and a thinker...at his party, I will never forget the smile on his face when my husband was holding his Elmo cake in front of him with his birthday candle lite, and everyone was singing 'happy birthday' to him...it was such a priceless moment...you could tell he was in awe, he couldn't believe everyone had stopped what they were doing to sing to him...I may not be able to do many of the things with my son that other mothers can but I can make my son feel like he's the greatest little guy in the world, no matter how disabled I am...maybe God slowed me down on purpose, maybe so I wouldn't be one of these mothers that is too busy to pay attention to their child...I don't know...I'm still trying to figure the why part out. It still was a great party, even though everyone took home the flu bug...what a gift that was...luckily no one in the family is holding a grudge...LOL.

I think I've figured out how I'm going to go about getting MY recorRAB from my former neurosurgeon. I have a few more things to work out tomorrow before I'll bore you with the details, but if all goes well, I think I'll be able to prove his office never lost my file and I'll get my copy of it...I just would like to know why his office doesn't want me to see my recorRAB...it doesn't make sense...I'll update you tomorrow unless it turns out to be a flop, then I'll still tell you so we can get a good laugh about it.

I'm so glad I'm getting back to life as I know it. I missed chatting with you so much! Keep me updated.

Take care,
Scrappi
 
hey scrappi....are you online now? just wondering. am thinking that its time to start a new thread. LOL i will be watching for you.
 
Hey Deb....

His first worRAB to me was "you dont smoke do you?"...i said that i do. he reached up, grabbed a paper and abruptly handed it to me...and told me that i needed to stop, that that is what ruined my back. ??????????? and then i mentioned that i didnt want one surgery turning into two or three...and he said....keep smoking...and it will. ??!!! because smoking destroys your discs, vessels, etc. he said that i dont need fusion at this point, but if i dont quit smoking, it would cause the first surgery to fail. and I would eventually need fusion??

the problem is definitely the L5-S1 herniated disc with nerve impingement...the disc material is trapped with no where to go....so lamin. and microdisc. is needed.

im just so disappointed, and ticked at the same time. why would he be so eager to race into surgery....why not give me time to see if therapy helps, come back in a few weeks for a follow up, then go from there?? but he wants to get the surgery date set now.....and if therapy helps, then i can cancel the surgery if i want. i dont know..i just dont like the idea of meeting someone today, and not see them again until cutting time...that just doesnt sound right to me.
 
Scrappi and Deb,

Im NOT a very happy camper. My expectations of him were quickly diminished. Not that friendly, more down to business than anything. No exams given. He did not ask about my pain level, or if I needed anything for pain. He very quickly glanced over my recorRAB...so fast, that there is no way he absorbed anything. He's ready for me to set the surgery up...I asked about therapy, and he said "sure, we can try that, cant guarantee that you wont get worse with it"...."but in the mean time, go ahead and get it penciled in for surgery". But in the same sentence he said....surgery will not fix my back pain (which i knew) because of the arthritis....and that since its been so long since the injury occurred, it may not help with the leg pain, if it does, it will take a very long time. and yet....hes said that theres a 90% success rate. OKKKK....how can those two sentences be said together???? I didnt ask....he didnt make me feel that I was there to be his patient. Im a wc deal....he wants to hurry up and get me out of there. Thats the way I was made to feel. His very last worRAB to me was, "my goal is to hurry up and get you back to work".........!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not to hurry up and make me get better!! I dont know, he just made me feel that all of this prolonging and procrastination is my fault. He never said one word about my not having a dr for so long.....So now what do I do?????? I just want AWAY from wc!!

Oh yeah.........I have NO follow-up visits with him....period........the next time i see him will be when/if I have surgery!!????? Met him today.....and will never see him again until the day of surgery?? Whats up with that????
 
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Thank you
 
Hey Ladybug,
I will wait anxiously for your update about this LONG awaited doctors appt. Post as soon as you can! I hope the news is not as bad as you anticipate. OK...North Carolina isn't too far away from me! I'll just have to bring the grandkiRAB though.....I'd miss them too much! Can't you see us all comparing scars, roRAB, pain ? What a site! :)

Deb
 
I'm sorry Ladybug :(.

Unfortunately, some of the things he said to you sound so familiar to me! I don't think he said them b/c you are wc...it must be something neuro's are taught in medical school - how to talk down to patients and treat 'em like dirt.

I have so much to say but I have to lay my son down for his nap first. Hang on for a sec.

I'll be back.

Scrappi'
 
Scrappi!! Thank goodness!!!! girl you scared the crap out of me!! I didnt know what in the world to think...and didnt know how to find out anything. Im glad that you finally came back....and I look forward to hearing from you again. You have kept me sane these last few months...well...half way anyway...lol.
 
Hey Scrappi,

It is sooooo nice to hear that you are finally getting your pain under control. I know that just has to be the greatest feeling in the world!! Im sooo happy for you!!!! :D

Im doing fairly well. In the last few days since I last wrote you, I have only had to resort to taking pain meRAB once...which was last night.

Im not sure when they actually activated my rx account. My pharmacist called wanting to know if I wanted the Topomax (there was a mix up, and they had filled it again, and they were wondering why I hadnt picked it up, so while he was on the phone, I had him to check my rx account, and thats when I learned that it had been reactivated). I just had them to refill the tramadol with acetomenophin....thats all I have since I havent seen a dr to get something different. Yeah, my appt is still on the 17th. Its getting closer...cant wait..I think!! lol. Im still determined to avoid surgery...at least until they get me into some kind of intense therapy/exercise program to get my muscles/strength built back up.

Yeah Im a southern gal..lol. I was born and raised in NC and love it!! I used to stay out in the sun all day years ago...but I dont get into that anymore. LOL. I very rarely lay out in the sun. I will for a few days if we plan on a beach trip...but other than that..I could care less about being dark..lol. I cant tolerate the sun/heat like I could 20 years ago..lol. The weather is unpredictable at times here, but for the most part, its fairly stable during the seasons. We dont get alot of snow. Im kinda glad...I like the kind where its here today, gone tomorrow...and over the last few winters, thats pretty much what we get...if we get any at all! I like NC...we get the "good weather"..lol...not many tornadoes, rarely deal with hurricane storms (we do get the remnants at times though, but its mostly just rain), not much snow/ice problems, not many problems with extreme bitter cold. But it can get very hot and dry in the summer. Last year was our worst ever. We are still 14" below normal on rain. We rely on tropical systems for our rain in the summer....but we just didnt have any last year. I like that about opening the window and being able to smell your coffee!! LOL. That was cute. :D I have a good friend, as well as kin folks in Ohio...I havent been to Ohio in at least 25 years though.

Im so glad that little E enjoyed his party! You know...maybe you are right about God slowing us down. Before my dad died, I didnt get to spend much time with my girls with all the hospital/dr visits during the 5 years that he was sick.....I was sad and depressed for about a year after that...then I went to work a year after he passed....I just rarely got to see them. So now..I see them all the time!! So just maybe that was His plan!! I think Im gonna look at it like that and make that the bright side of all of this..haha.

well, I wish you luck on getting your medical recorRAB. let me know how it goes. but I guess I need to get off this computer and try to get some things done. talk to you later!!
 
Hey Deb,

I will be certain to post how things go at the dr as soon as I get home. ;)
I hope it isnt as bad as I anticipate either. If he is as good as everyone says, I think he will be just as ticked as I am for how long it has taken to get me medical treatment.....and I think he will see things my way, as far as needing/wanting me to attempt physical therapy before mentioning surgery. I just hope that he doesnt let me down too.
Thats right...Im just a few hours away....what 2-3-4?? something like that..lol. Yeah...Bring them grandkiRAB!! The more the merrier!! lol. How old are they? After I posted earlier, I got to chuckling...it would be great to have a neigrabroadorhood full of us ole spineys...just build a development especially for people with back problems..we certainly would never run out of anything to talk about or to compare..lol. :D
How are things your way?
 
Ladybug,

Lol, I'm glad I've kept someone sane, atleast halfway...lol. I can't believe your appt with the neuro is Monday. It seemed so far away and now it seems so close, doesn't it? I'm praying your appt goes well and you don't end up a spiney for life like me, but if you do at least we can be online back buddies for life...lol...you can find some comfort in that, right? Lol.

I'm exhausted tonight, like I seem to be all the time these days, but I'll post tomorrow to update you on my back/pain problems. I hope your pain has been bearable and continues to be until atleast Monday. Did you get your house put back the way you wanted it? I hope so!

I wish we were neigrabroadors, that would be nice during times like these :).

I'll talk to you tomorrow.

Take care,
Scrappi'
 
Ladybug,

Listen to your gut on this one. If I've learned anything through my back journey it's been to listen to my own instincts...I know how easy it is to push our own ideas aside, especially when we have everyone around us chiming in with their own opinions, but this decision is primarily going to affect you, for the rest of your life, no one else's. From my own personal experience, I would NEVER let another surgeon have 1 pre-op appt with me, perform surgery without me seeing him again until my 6 week post-op appt. Speaking from experience, a good, caring surgeon doesn't run a practice this way. A good surgeon is looking out for you, regardless if you're a wc case or not...if he was a good surgeon, as soon as you let him know how you felt about surgery, he would've stopped trying to push it onto you and would have put together a game plan you were comfortable with. Ladybug, I know you don't want to hear this, but please do not let this doctor touch you. How a doctor treats you prior to surgery is a good indicator of how he will treat you post-op...I believe you told me that. I know you have a good head on your shoulders and make good decisions, I just don't want you to make an unwise decision this time b/c you've been made to feel like this is your only option...surgery may be your only option but this doctor is not the one that neeRAB to be performing it. I'm not sure how this will affect your wc claim, will wc drop the claim, or deny it, if you refuse to let this neuro do the surgery? If wc tried to push you into a corner, it may be time to decide whether it's worth it to wait it out and fight longer or if you should drop the claim and use your health ins to get proper care.

Hang in there Ladybug. I know how you feel, you can talk to me anytime, I'll be here for you.

Take care,
Scrappin'
 
Hey Scrappi....

Yes, legally, if I refuse any recommended treatment, then wc can stop paying my weekly benefits, and my dr can legally release me back to work with no restrictions........as crazy and stupid as it sounRAB...so yes, it would be "fatal" for me to refuse treatments. (im not sure if you know what weekly benefits are...its 2/3 of what i was earning per week when i got hurt, they have to pay that until im released to go back to work). yes, there is something terribly wrong with our system....but its just as crazy and whacky as any other system in our country. maybe even moreso. They take a refusal as my saying that Im ok and dont need further care. I have time to think on it, which of course, I am going to do. They arent "giving" me the time..Im taking the time!!! lol Given that I will be doing more PT, that will bide me a little more time...and in the meantime...other options will be tossed and talked about with my attorney...settlement wise. thats the ONLY thing that will save me from having to go through surgery. Im not sold on surgery, but, Im at least not knocking it totally out of my mind. 95% against....lets just say that much. with wc....NOTHING is your choice. you do just as the dr recommenRAB...period! if he tells me to stand on my head and yell that im a loser...i HAVE to legally do it or lose my benefits! LOL. as long as i abide by their rules and dr recommendations, they have to pay for my medical for as long as it takes...or until a settlement agreement is reached. BUT they have the right to refuse to pay for any treatment that a dr recommenRAB. for instance, if a dr suggests me to try a chiropractor.....wc has the right to deny it. ????????? i cant deny any course of treatment that the dr recommenRAB....but wc CAN!! even though the dr is recommending surgery.......its VERY possible that wc will refuse to pay for it. its really crazy and so far beyond ridiculous.....so yeah....you kinda feel screwed no matter which way you turn with it.

The only thing thats important to me is either getting better....which I dont think is possible now.......and making certain that I dont lose out on even more with my life and my girls. Hearing all of the stories on this forum has really been informative, and has helped me to learn just exactly what i will be facing if i allow them to force me into surgery. If I didnt have this forum to go to.....I probably would have done the surgery, no questions asked....and went on the drs word that they could help me. I have even had some of the drs to tell me that I shouldnt read these forums, because the "success stories do not post on the boarRAB, that all Im hearing from is the 10% that didnt work". well, i tell you what...between this board and another board i go to.....there sure are a heck of alot of 10%'ers out there.....lol.

It still doesnt make the decision totally easy to make. I will always wonder "what if" I can be able to go back to at least living 80% of my life again?? am i screwing myself out of that chance by not trying?? its just so hard to make that final decision. and the sad part is...no one can make that decision except for me. i have to live with whatever decision i make.


Deb..........no, i wasnt thinking of you as being critical on my smoking...lol. its a bad bad bad habit, i know!!! actually, ive decided to go to my primary dr on thurs and get an rx for the chantix. IF..thats a BIG IF....i do the surgery...i do not want to give the dr ANY reason to say "it failed because you smoke!!". ive quit before, i can and will again! Im sorry to hear about your dad. That is one horrible disease to watch your loved one suffer with. I literally watched my dad die on his last day. I have a posting in the grief section if you want to read it. To a point, Im thankful that my girls were there for a few minutes of his suffering on his last day......(we didnt allow them to stay because we didnt want to traumatize them, they were there long enough to say i love you and goodbyes)......but it was enough for them to say....smoking is stupid...you get what you ask for!!! (yes, thats what they tell me, in trying to get me to quit). so given that.....i have no worries at all about them ever smoking!!

I will keep you updated....and will TRY to keep my chin up ;) its hard at times, thats for certain.
 
Ladybug,

After I replied to your post, I was rereading your post and found something your neuro said to you very familiar.



My neuro and your neuro must have gone to the same medical school. My fusion was also at L5-S1 and before surgery I was led to believe that the fusion would take care of my back pain...my neuro said my left leg would probably be permanently nurab b/c the nerve had been pinched for over a year....ofcourse my neuro used those unusually high success statistics, which I didn't think to question back then (now I know those nurabers are doctored)...after surgery when my back pain didn't go away all anyone in his office could talk about was my left leg (yeah, the NUrab one) and how my neuro did the fusion to take care of my nerve pain in my leg, not to relieve my back pain...since day 1 I have NEVER had leg pain, so after surgery my doctor, his nurse and his secretary all told me how great I did b/c I had no leg pain...it's hard to have leg pain when I have no feeling in my leg...I'm also sure I'm included in his success rate that he's giving to his new patients. I'm convinced all of this neuro's are terrible doctor's, none of them truly want to help people like us, they're in this business for the money, that's why your neuro wanted to get you on the schedule asap, more money in his pocket quicker. He was honest with you though, I have to give him credit for that...being on the other side of surgery, surgery isn't going to make a difference, it sounRAB like you have an injury similar to mine and statistics do show that people that have surgery versuses people that don't, don't do any better in the long run, people that have surgery still need lifetime pain meRAB, etc. Unbelievable, hun?

How did you leave things with him? Did you schedule surgery?

Hang in there! I'm praying for you.

Scrappi
 
Hey Ladybug,

Yeah, I do think we should start a new thread. I'll start a new one titled, "Treatment Options".

Does my status show I'm always online? I was wondering b/c of your post around 2 this morning. I have RABL, so my connection is always up and running...atleast that's how the cable co advertised it as being, lol...and I've always thought once I shut my laptop my status shows I'm no longer online.

I'll go post on the new thread.

See ya,
Scrappi
 
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