Lack of intimacy during pregnancy NEED HELP FROM MEN or WOMEN that are open minded!?

R

RO BUG DA BOO

New member
oh u poor thing thats awful..... im sorry she doesnt understand that u need her attention too.....just try to explain to her u just want to cuddle or enjoy being with her.....explain to her u still need her to make u feel included and welcomed into the experience.....i hope she understands.......you sound like a great person...shes very lucky to have u dont forget that
 
Hello, a tough question that a lot of women say, pregnancy and sex will stop deal with it etc... Well I am asking for a little more understanding answer for men. My girlfriend is 8 weeks pregnant, NOT ONLY sex stopped, by any intimacy period... No touching, kissing or hand holding... This is her second child. When I TRY to talk to her about this, I just get the standard answer, I am pregnant and it will be fine after we have the baby, I am just exhausted all the time because of being pregnant. I understand that!!!! So this is how I help her get rest: She is a stay at home girlfriend, I do ALL of the house chores like clean the kitchen, bathroom, laundry you get the point... I take care of her mother who is suffering form a terminal illness, running to hospitals, doctors, taking care of her house.... I do all of this to help her rest and relax. I am looking for some type of intimacy just to know she appreciates all that I am doing... I am not sure how I can keep this pace and feeling totally rejected by her. Ladies and Gents, I do not need to hear cut her a break she is pregnant, I KNOW THIS, I need help getting through this.... I showed her several articles on this topic and she says she will try... I really feel a huge seperation and am trying to address this before it creates too much damage!!!! As for sex, we used to try nearly daily, she held my hand all the time, she would kiss me all the time. Now there is nothing... HELP!!!!
Thanks Ro and Babe, it is getting harder and harder.... I am trying to do EVERYTHING so she gets the rest so it give more of a possibility to have that intimacy. Well its not working!!! UGH!!! I just see a lot of problems on the horizon if we keep this path!!!
Thanks Mama!!! I did ask her to fold the laundry and vacuum, but she is going through morning sickness (all day sickness) so I end up doing it anyway!!!!! She talks about the added discharge from the vaginal area and it turns her off. We will see and hope everyone is right here!!! LOL GOD HELP ME if not!!!!
Thanks everyone for the great answers... I was tired of reading it was all geared to women. I really do go over the top to make sure she has the rest she needs. Like right now, could not sleep last night so I went to bed around 3 or 4 am and now her son is up at 7a. She got up but was just trying to sleep on the couch so instead I told her go back to bed.... I am tired as hell but I just want to create any chance of intimacy I can... Man this is hard!!!!
 
oh u poor thing thats awful..... im sorry she doesnt understand that u need her attention too.....just try to explain to her u just want to cuddle or enjoy being with her.....explain to her u still need her to make u feel included and welcomed into the experience.....i hope she understands.......you sound like a great person...shes very lucky to have u dont forget that
 
its really hard to give you any advice because im similar with my husband its not that i don't want to be intimate with him but every time he comes near me i don't know what happens to me i just cant be around him, whenever we have sex which is not very often i cant even look him in the face and just cant wait for it to be over. Im about 15 weeks pregnant now and im starting to get over the sex thing but kissing is still a big no no for me just last night he was telling me how much he misses kissing me but i cant help it, so hopefully the next couple of weeks will get better because i do feel for him and he has been so understanding and i want to go back to the way we used to be and hopefully with your girlfriend once shes past her 1st trimester she will start being more intimate with you, good luck.
 
oh u poor thing thats awful..... im sorry she doesnt understand that u need her attention too.....just try to explain to her u just want to cuddle or enjoy being with her.....explain to her u still need her to make u feel included and welcomed into the experience.....i hope she understands.......you sound like a great person...shes very lucky to have u dont forget that
 
Wow you really do all that?!?!? I was pregnant with twins and still did the laundry, holy canolli.

Really, I think you will have to be very honest with her. Ask her, very sweetly, "You know that I love you, right"? Then, "HOW do you know that I love you? Is it by my words or by something that I do?" When she tells you, this will open up the conversation for you to say that you know she loves YOU when she holds your hand, touches your shoulder, etc. and whatnot. My husband is the same way you are, and I sometimes have to kind of "make" myself show him that attention. It isn't that I don't enjoy it, but my twins are on me all day long so it is like an overwhelming amount of physical contact all day, that when they are in bed, I just want my body left alone (even holding hands), but he talked to me just like I explained, and now I make every effort to hug him as much as possible, give kisses, and etc.
 
its really hard to give you any advice because im similar with my husband its not that i don't want to be intimate with him but every time he comes near me i don't know what happens to me i just cant be around him, whenever we have sex which is not very often i cant even look him in the face and just cant wait for it to be over. Im about 15 weeks pregnant now and im starting to get over the sex thing but kissing is still a big no no for me just last night he was telling me how much he misses kissing me but i cant help it, so hopefully the next couple of weeks will get better because i do feel for him and he has been so understanding and i want to go back to the way we used to be and hopefully with your girlfriend once shes past her 1st trimester she will start being more intimate with you, good luck.
 
its not you its her. i did the same thing with my husband i think she doesnt feel pretty. and therefore doesnt want you touching her. and she says dont worry when im not pregnant things will go back to normal but after shes has the baby if she doesnt lose her baby weight she'll still feel the same way. and she wont want any intamicy until she feels 'hot' again. just give her time.
 
its really hard to give you any advice because im similar with my husband its not that i don't want to be intimate with him but every time he comes near me i don't know what happens to me i just cant be around him, whenever we have sex which is not very often i cant even look him in the face and just cant wait for it to be over. Im about 15 weeks pregnant now and im starting to get over the sex thing but kissing is still a big no no for me just last night he was telling me how much he misses kissing me but i cant help it, so hopefully the next couple of weeks will get better because i do feel for him and he has been so understanding and i want to go back to the way we used to be and hopefully with your girlfriend once shes past her 1st trimester she will start being more intimate with you, good luck.
 
Well, the first trimester is pretty rough. However, it sounds like she's getting spoiled. I'm 10 weeks pregnant with my third and I'm so tired from taking care of 3 other kids (two biological and one step daughter), cleaning the house, and everything else, but I still have a kiss and a hug for my husband every time I see him and we sure as heck still have sex.

The best thing I can tell you is give it about another month and her body should be adjusted to being pregnant again and she should be able to help pick up the slack. It's not fair to expect you to do all the housework, take care of her mother, AND work. That's just plain wrong and you should ask for her help. I mean she can sit on the couch and fold laundry, for crying out loud!

The second trimester is always the easiest. Most of the time morning sickness disappears by 14 or 15 weeks pregnant, she might still be a little tired, but she can take a nap in the afternoon. That still leaves the mornings and evenings open to do some work and spend time with you. I guess for now just go with the flow and try to get the kisses and hugs when she's in the mood, but by 12 or 13 weeks I'm betting things will turn around for you. Good luck!
 
It is really hard for you both. I can understand your frustration, nothing has changed for you in the way that it has for her and you are doing all you can to make things easier for her too. Just keep trying. I am pregnant with my 2nd baby and I have to admit that at times I cannot bear to be touched because I have had constant morning sickness and the minute any pressure is applied to my chest my breasts leak and to be honest sometimes it is sore to have sex....but I realise that my husband has needs and that he still needs attention so I try to have a few days where I try and pamper myself after doing the housework and make myself feel good so that I can give him a bit of attention even if its not full blown sex (I am sure you can use your imagination). Sometimes we get caught up in the way we feel because we change so much and I know I don't feel 'normal' and I hate it but I also know my poor husband has to put up with a lot too. I really hope you work through it.
 
Well, the first trimester is pretty rough. However, it sounds like she's getting spoiled. I'm 10 weeks pregnant with my third and I'm so tired from taking care of 3 other kids (two biological and one step daughter), cleaning the house, and everything else, but I still have a kiss and a hug for my husband every time I see him and we sure as heck still have sex.

The best thing I can tell you is give it about another month and her body should be adjusted to being pregnant again and she should be able to help pick up the slack. It's not fair to expect you to do all the housework, take care of her mother, AND work. That's just plain wrong and you should ask for her help. I mean she can sit on the couch and fold laundry, for crying out loud!

The second trimester is always the easiest. Most of the time morning sickness disappears by 14 or 15 weeks pregnant, she might still be a little tired, but she can take a nap in the afternoon. That still leaves the mornings and evenings open to do some work and spend time with you. I guess for now just go with the flow and try to get the kisses and hugs when she's in the mood, but by 12 or 13 weeks I'm betting things will turn around for you. Good luck!
 
Well, the first trimester is pretty rough. However, it sounds like she's getting spoiled. I'm 10 weeks pregnant with my third and I'm so tired from taking care of 3 other kids (two biological and one step daughter), cleaning the house, and everything else, but I still have a kiss and a hug for my husband every time I see him and we sure as heck still have sex.

The best thing I can tell you is give it about another month and her body should be adjusted to being pregnant again and she should be able to help pick up the slack. It's not fair to expect you to do all the housework, take care of her mother, AND work. That's just plain wrong and you should ask for her help. I mean she can sit on the couch and fold laundry, for crying out loud!

The second trimester is always the easiest. Most of the time morning sickness disappears by 14 or 15 weeks pregnant, she might still be a little tired, but she can take a nap in the afternoon. That still leaves the mornings and evenings open to do some work and spend time with you. I guess for now just go with the flow and try to get the kisses and hugs when she's in the mood, but by 12 or 13 weeks I'm betting things will turn around for you. Good luck!
 
Well, the first trimester is pretty rough. However, it sounds like she's getting spoiled. I'm 10 weeks pregnant with my third and I'm so tired from taking care of 3 other kids (two biological and one step daughter), cleaning the house, and everything else, but I still have a kiss and a hug for my husband every time I see him and we sure as heck still have sex.

The best thing I can tell you is give it about another month and her body should be adjusted to being pregnant again and she should be able to help pick up the slack. It's not fair to expect you to do all the housework, take care of her mother, AND work. That's just plain wrong and you should ask for her help. I mean she can sit on the couch and fold laundry, for crying out loud!

The second trimester is always the easiest. Most of the time morning sickness disappears by 14 or 15 weeks pregnant, she might still be a little tired, but she can take a nap in the afternoon. That still leaves the mornings and evenings open to do some work and spend time with you. I guess for now just go with the flow and try to get the kisses and hugs when she's in the mood, but by 12 or 13 weeks I'm betting things will turn around for you. Good luck!
 
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