Just need some answers about relationships :] Without any whining or complaining?

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Rumble.bear

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Difference between the "dating love" and "IN LOVE"
when we first start off a relationship, we crave and WANT the "IN LOVE" feeling that we see in all the movies/mushy couples at the park. this nonlove you are talking about is more a love of the IDEA of being in love than actually loving the person.

REAL LOVE:
knowing the person inside out and loving it, i have been with my boy for over a year now and i still get butterflies, and cant wait to see him again. this kind of stuff DOES take work, but it shouldnt mean a constant battle, for a typical answer/example: COMMUNICATION, clear up tiny worries before they grow into big ones!

Mood swings/missing like crazy:
a break up is a break from the routine of constant calls / texts / catch-ups / ,makeouts / etc... even if they lost their impact for you, there was still a sense of security in knowing someone was always there, and all of a sudden, its gone.

Yes, you did the right thing, as long as the break up was planned, and you werent just blaming him for a crappy hit of PMS... if it was a constant decline that you could see going nowhere good then a break was a good move - btw, how do you feel about other girls now being allowed to hit on / go for him?

muchlove
xoxo
 
I dumped my bf 4 days ago to keep it short my main reasons were: I didn’t get any butterflies or sparks when we kissed, hugged etc. despite our connection and it was a gut feeling that I wasn’t able to or willing to make the effort as he was [proving that I wasn’t ready to continue this relationship after 7 months] not even excited or delirious to see/talk to him after 3 months of summer [instead we had several fights&a break]

MY QUESTIONS:

personal experiences or beliefs to define the difference of loving someone and being IN love?
I was hurting quite a lot after we broke up, going through continuous mood swings, missing him like crazy etc. He wanted to jump into friends straight away, but it felt really hard for me [he said it shouldn’t feel so bad for me! even my mum told me the day after that I made a choice and not to sulk around!]
Did I do the right thing or was I really wrong & needed to put the effort in the relationship despite the end of our honeymoon stage?
Thanks in advance
Would it help to say I held onto his cons alot :jealous, maturity differences [16 and 18!] self conscious, obsessive, giving crap excuses, self centred sometimes!
In answer to one of your questions: I want him to be happy but not moving on just yet..selfish? Theres a small part of me that cant see him with anyone else right now though Im preparing myself for when it does
 
Oh dear! There is no relationship where you are going be floating on cloud 9 all of the time. In fact there are going to moments where you wish you can strangle your partner. But yet there are moments where you are soooo in love with your partner that you can not contain yourself. This is the part where I say a relationship is hard work, because you have to over come those moments where you really despise the one you love. There are arguments and fights that you have to find a solution for. Nothing and no relationship is going to be smooth sailing. There are rocky parts that you have to work together and find solutions to. But the key is patience, understanding, and effort from both parties.
 
Oh dear! There is no relationship where you are going be floating on cloud 9 all of the time. In fact there are going to moments where you wish you can strangle your partner. But yet there are moments where you are soooo in love with your partner that you can not contain yourself. This is the part where I say a relationship is hard work, because you have to over come those moments where you really despise the one you love. There are arguments and fights that you have to find a solution for. Nothing and no relationship is going to be smooth sailing. There are rocky parts that you have to work together and find solutions to. But the key is patience, understanding, and effort from both parties.
 
It sounds as if he didn`t fire you up or turn you on (ie, not compatible with each other).

Of course, the fault could have been yours.

Some of us are pretty cold fish, and don`t get turned on easily. (It`s just the way we are). In those cases, it is best to wait and hope that someone does come along who can turn you on.

You can`t base a relationship on a lack of feelings, passion and emotion. There needs to be that special spark, when we feel an urgent need to please someone.
 
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