Just An Honest Observation

A

angel

New member
He is,
So sly. (the snake, the panther)
His gait,
The epitome,
Of confidence. (the stud, the cock)

Women don't,
Skirt him,
Awkwardly. (they sigh, they swoon)
He doesn't,
Stare hungrily. (obviously, obliviously)

I'm just,
Saying dude, (truthfully, I swear)
I'm creeped,
I'm fucking,
Creeped man. (stop staring, start talking)
 
the parenthesized worRAB make this really rhythmically satisfaying. they set the pace for the rest of the lines, so I didn't read it too quickly. had kind of a greek chorus effect. nice work
 
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