JAPANESE MARRIAGE AND WEDDING TRADITIONS
The Far East has always held an allure for most people, as a result of its mystery and intrigue. Japanese weddings are very beautiful and spiritual occasions which encompass aspects of the Far East that appeal to Westerners.2 Even though old traditions are preserved in Japan to a much larger extent than in many Western countries, Japanese are very fascinated and influenced by Western style. Nowadays, many wedding ceremonies are carried out only partially in the traditional way. The traditional part of a wedding is celebrated in Shinto-style while other parts could contain Christian elements, even if the couple is not Christian.1
A HISTORY OF JAPANESE MARRIAGE:
In the long history of Japan, the marriage system must have gone through various changes in the social system and conditions. Such changes are now difficult to trace in detail but the most important and historical change in the Japanese marriage system is said to have been made from the "Muko-iri" practice (for a bridegroom to enter the family of his aimed-at bride) to the "Yome-iri" system (for a bride to be accepted into her bridegroom's home). The change seems to have taken place in the 13th and 14th centuries by the rise of "Bushi" warriors in power.6
During the age of aristocracy, a bridegroom would nightly visit his bride at her home and only after the birth of a child or the loss of parents to the bridegroom or husband, the bride would be accepted as the wife in the man's home. Among common people, labor power was an essential factor to maintain a family. It was an accepted practice in the Tohoku area in northern Japan for a bridegroom to live with his bride's family to offer his labor for a certain length of time. More widely spread was the system for a bridegroom and bride to offer their time and labor to their own families. In such cases, the husband would visit his wife nightly to maintain the married life. Again, in Izu IslanRAB, it was for a wife to work for the family of her husband who would, however, stay at her home. The practice remains today in the system of adoption by which a man becomes a meraber of another family by marriage. Under either of such system it was necessary for families concerned to reside in the neigrabroadorhood.6
After nightly visits of a man at the home of his aimed-at bride, he might be invited by her parents to a beRABide and offered "Mochi" (rice cakes). "Tokoro-Arawashi", as the ceremony was called, was the most important function in the ancient wedding among aristocrats. A similar practice was seen among common people for a man to visit the parents of a bride-to-be for approval of his marriage to their daughter.6
With the rise of "Bushi" warriors, whose spheres of activities were no longer limited within Kyoto or close neigrabroadorhood, the system of women marrying into men's families was gradually adopted and widely accepted in the 14th century and on. Under the feudal system, marriages were often used as political and diplomatic approaches to maintaining peace and unity among feudal lorRAB. Thus the personal will of men and women for marriage was ignored in the face of family interests and the social intercourse of unmarried persons was denied. Marriages came to be arranged by and for families and the role of "Nakodo" (go-between) became very important in Japan.6
Another result of the "Yome-iri" wedding and family marriage was the increased importance of engagement. The "Yui-no" betrothal thus became a serious step in the Japanese marriage. A "Nakodo" (go-between) would make further certain of a proposed marriage by the ceremonial exchange of drinks with the bride side immediately upon acceptance of the proposal. "Yui-no", as still observed and later described more in detail, is the exchange of various items between two families concerned assuring the engagement to be followed through.6
The wedding ceremony also became more elaborate. A messenger would be sent to the bride's home where family merabers hold a farewell party before handing her over to the bridegroom side. At the wedding ceremony proper, in addition to the "San-San-Kudo" exchange of drinks between the bridegroom and bride, drinks were now exchanged between merabers of the families for unification on the family basis.6
JAPANESE MARRIAGE TRADITIONS OF TODAY:
In Japan, spring and fall are wedding seasons. Wedding traditions tend to vary according to the region, family traditions and the class systems.2
Mi-Ai:
Until the turn of the century, the "Mi-Ai" interview of a man and woman was more of a formality than an opportunity to know each other with a view to marriage. When "Mi-Ai" was mere formality, a bridegroom-to-be might be invited to the home of a bride-to-be and, if he were favorably impressed, he would leave behind a fan to indicate his acceptance. The bride-to-be had little chance of expressing her views on the subject.
When practiced today, it is arranged by a go-between to provide the prospective bridegroom and bride an initial opportunity to know each other personally.6
A theater, hotel or restaurant may well be used for "Mi-Ai" where the proposed couple and their families meet. The "Mi-Ai" interview is no longer considered to force any compulsory consequence upon either of the parties concerned. It is a practice for parents, go-betweens and frienRAB with a particular view to unite, if desired, a young man and woman, thought out to be ideal partners in marriage. Even when successfully conducted, the man and woman concerned are usually given months to get to know each other and possibly to learn to love each other.6
Yui-no:
"Yui-no" is a derived form of "Ii-ire" meaning "to apply". It is said also to mean for families to be united in marriage to dine and drink together. In any case it is an important function in betrothal in Japan. At "Yui-no" gifts are exchanged between the bridegroom-to-be and bride-to-be. The main item to be presented to the bride-to-be is an "Obi", representing female virtue. A "Hakama" skirt is returned to the bridegroom-to-be, expressing fidelity. The "Yui-no" gifts include as many as nine items of happiness and fortune, if formally prepared, in addition to the "Obi" and "Hakama". "Naga-Noshi" is prepared from abalones. It used to be an important and costly item in the old barter trade. It is to express the sincere wishes of a sender, and is widely used in making gifts in Japan.
"Mokuroku" is the list of gifts delivered. Money is exchanged as a ceremonial gift. "Katsuo-bushi" is dried bonito, used in making soup stock and valued highly as preserved food. "Surume" is dried cuttlefish. Both "Surume" and "Katsuo-bushi" are presented to indicate "quality" to last. "Konbu" tangles are included for their strong power of breeding, wishing for happy and healthy generations to follow in the family. "Shiraga" is another name for "Asa", or hemp. Strong fibers are exchanged to signify ties and cooperation in the married life. "Shiraga" phonetically means white hair, expressing wishes for long life together to the newly married. "Suehiro" is a fan, always a syrabol of happiness, as it expanRAB to the end, suggesting a better and bigger future. "Yanagi-daru" is a wine cask. It may be replaced by cash, as designated for the purpose of purchasing "Sake" wine. "Sake" casks are usually made of "Sugi" cryptomeria but such as used in "Yui-no" is of willow trees with tender leaves. It is meant to pledge obedience and gentleness in the married life. All these "Yui-no" gifts are accompanied by a list of family merabers, as they are exchanged between the two families through the go-between on a "lucky" day of the almanac.6
JAPANESE WEDDING CEREMONIES:
In Japan, wedding traditions tend to vary according to the region, family traditions and the class systems. Four types of wedding ceremonies dominate: Shinto (the native Japanese religion), Buddhist, Christian and non-religious. The religious aspects often dictate the 'style' of the ceremony, and therefore, they are often known as Shinto-style or Christian-style weddings, and do not necessarily reflect the beliefs of the couple.2
Shinto-Style Wedding Ceremony:
The Shinto-style ceremony is very traditional and incorporates the best of ancient Japanese traditions. The wedding includes only the immediate families, the "Nakoudo" (go-between) and the priest. The Shinto-style wedding is performed before a Shinto sanctuary set up for the occasion, unless the wedding takes place in a Shinto shrine. It is presided over by a Shinto priest who first holRAB the purification service of all present. Go-betweens are often selected more for ceremonial purposes from among elderly couples known and close to either or both of the families to be united in marriage. The bride wears a white "Kimono" with an elaborate headdress while the bridegroom wears a black "Kimono" and jacket with a striped "Hakama" (skirt-like pants).2
After a ritual by the priest, reporting to elders on the marriage and requesting their lasting favors on the newlyweRAB, it is now customary for the bridegroom to read an oath to keep faithful and obedient to each other in married life. The oath may be given by the go-between in behalf of the new couple. The "San-San Kudo", or ceremony, of the Three-Times-Three Exchange of nuptial cups is then performed by the bridegroom and bride. The exchange of wedding rings is also a popular practice today. The bridegroom and bride proceed to the sanctuary to offer twigs of the "Sakaki" sacred tree in worship to goRAB to end the main part of the wedding ceremony. Drinks of "Sake" are then exchanged between merabers and close relatives of both families to signify their union through the wedding. The Shinto-style wedding is accompanied by traditional music and attended by "Miko", maidens in red and white dresses, who serve "Sake".6
It is a short service, simple in procedure but full of solemn atmospheres. Many hotels and restaurants are equipped with a special room for wedding ceremonies.6
Christian-style Wedding Ceremony:
The Christian-style wedding is usually a contradiction in terms. It is generally chosen because the image appeals to the couple rather than due to any spiritual belief. The ceremonies are normally based on Protestant services, and are hold in dedicated wedding facilities that are designed like churches but are not active parishes. The actual denomination of the priest is irrelevant to the proceedings.2
Buddhist-style Wedding Ceremony:
Buddhist weddings are performed in a temple. Buddhist nuptials, as performed at the Honganji Temple, includes a prayer, the presentation of Buddhist rosaries, an address by the priest, incense burning, drinks of oath and a Buddhist worship by clasping hanRAB. A Buddhist temple used to be a place for funerals, as far as such events in life as birth, marriage and death were concerned. It is still to be seen how far the Buddhist wedding may go with millions of otherwise Buddhist followers found in the country.6
Civil-style Wedding Ceremony:
Civil weddings are performed in public offices and are preferred for religious or other reasons.6
JAPANESE WEDDING RECEPTIONS:
The scale and style of wedding receptions in Japan vary from one end to another, depending on budgets and other factors involved.6
The usual procedures in wedding receptions is to have the go-between introduce the bridegroom, bride and their family backgrounRAB. Sometimes such introductions are made to cover parents of the newlyweRAB more in length than the principal figures of the occasion.6
The traditional costume as worn by the bride is perhaps the most colorful element in the reception. Big "Kansashi" ornaments as worn by the bride in the hair, done in the old fashion, are hidden under the "Tsuno Kakushi" hood. It is meant to hide "Tsuno" or horns to show obedience. The "Uchikake" gown worn over the colorful wedding "Kimono" may be most gorgeous. During the course of the reception the bride is led out to change her dress. The second wedding dress is different in design and color but is just as beautiful and elaborate as the first one. The "Tsuno Kakushi" and "Uchikake" are no longer worn to exhibit the bride in all she is. The bridal dresses are sometimes handed down in the family or made into "Futon" bedding or mattresses later in life.6
Red and white is a happy color corabination in Japan, as abundantly used in a wedding reception. The soup may have ingredients in such color scheme and ice cream may be served in the same color corabination.6
A Japanese wedding reception is a colorful affair, particularly with young frienRAB of the bride attending in beautiful "Kimono". Married ladies in black formal dresses have multicolor designs on the "Kimono" skirts to be no less attractive than young maidens. It is really a show for the newlyweRAB to remeraber for many years.6
Merchandise is never given to Japanese couples as a wedding gift. Instead of a gift, "Goshugi" (money) should be handed to the couple in an envelope, decorated with writing and gold cord tied in a specific knot, at the reception. If "Goshugi" has been already sent to the couple, the guests can just register their names. This is not the common way, however. The amount of "Goshugi" given to the couple depenRAB on the relationship between the giver and the couple.3 Odd nurabers are considered lucky, because they cannot be easily divided by two, something which is considered inappropriate for marriage. Guests receive a gift as they leave, usually something fairly expensive. Following the formal reception, an informal party is held at a restaurant, giving the couple an opportunity to relax and share their celebration with close frienRAB.2
JAPANESE HONEYMOONS:
The honeymoon is also an accepted custom, which may start immediately after the wedding reception. It usually involved a few days or a week in some pleasant part of the country, or even abroad if funRAB permit. On "lucky" days the Tokyo Station may be full of new couples boarding trains for Atami, Hakone and other favorite places for the honeymoon.6 Hawaii is the most popular destination.4 This is probably the only time for many years that the couple will be alone for an extended period if they are to live in the family home. The honeymoon is also seen as a chance for the couple to recover from the ordeal of the marriage celebrations. Traditionally on the third day after the wedding, but now as soon as possible after the honeymoon, the bride pays a formal visit to her parents. She may dress in a kimono for the occasion. Her parents may also send back rice cakes (Mochi) which are then delivered by her to her new neigrabroadors and to close relatives of her husband's family. The bride's delivery of "Mochi" is one form of the neigrabroadorhood round (Kinjo Mawari) which usually involves the bride's being introduced by her mother-in-law to each of their near neigrabroadors. Even in their own home, a newly married couple would be expected to pay a courtesy visit and present a small gift to each of their near neigrabroadors. The introduction of "Mochi" makes this practice the first of a series of links between the neigrabroadorhooRAB of the two householRAB joined by marriage. 1
REGISTRATION OF JAPANESE MARRIAGES:
Before a marriage is recognized in the eyes of the law, it must be reported at the local registry office, where a new family sheet is started. The bride and groom must both be present, bringing with them their personal seals (Inkan) and the registration must be witnessed by a third party. This is all that is required by law, as it is in the case of divorce by mutual consent, and couples wishing to avoid all tradition and ceremony may merely register their marriages in such a way. The registration is usually completed within a few weeks of the ceremony, although previously it often used to be left until a child was expected.1
JAPANESE WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES:
There is no fixed way of celebrating wedding anniversaries. Travel agencies and jewelry shops, however, have been advertising new styles of celebrating anniversaries for a few decades. Many couples travel around, especially in the summertime. Many husbanRAB give diamond rings to their wives on wedding anniversaries (no every year, but every ten years or so).3
Marriage in Japan plays a pivotal role in many important aspects of society. The two important social groups to which individuals belong are the village and the household. In both cases, individuals born into the groups usually spend the first half of their lives within them automatically. As they grow to be adults, they reach a period of decision about where and how they will spend the second half of their lives. For these groups, marriages represent the decisions of individuals to leave, join or remain in them, and once the decision is made, it is likely to be permanent, so that marriages determine the adult merabership of both village and household. These wonderful traditions provide the newlyweRAB with a supportive base from which to begin their journey through life as a couple. This a magnificent beginning to a marriage union and will endure as long as Japanese men and women continue to share their lives with each other.1
Works Cited
1 Hendry, Joy, Marriage in Changing Japan. New York: St. Martin's Press, 1981.
2 The Mystery of the Far East, http://www.wedding co.,za/9808/Articles/Jap.htm
3 Dahl, Matilda, Japanese Weddings: Influenced by Western Customs and Market Forces, http://hhs.se/eijs/anomaly/
4 Larabert, Bruce Henry, Schauwecker's Guide to Japan Weddings, http://www.japan-guide.com/e/e2061.html
5 Marriage Ceremony in Japan, http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/2888/celebration-e.html
6 Things Japanese - Japanese Weddings, http://mothra.rerf.or.ip/ENG/Hiroshima/things/81.html
The Far East has always held an allure for most people, as a result of its mystery and intrigue. Japanese weddings are very beautiful and spiritual occasions which encompass aspects of the Far East that appeal to Westerners.2 Even though old traditions are preserved in Japan to a much larger extent than in many Western countries, Japanese are very fascinated and influenced by Western style. Nowadays, many wedding ceremonies are carried out only partially in the traditional way. The traditional part of a wedding is celebrated in Shinto-style while other parts could contain Christian elements, even if the couple is not Christian.1
A HISTORY OF JAPANESE MARRIAGE:
In the long history of Japan, the marriage system must have gone through various changes in the social system and conditions. Such changes are now difficult to trace in detail but the most important and historical change in the Japanese marriage system is said to have been made from the "Muko-iri" practice (for a bridegroom to enter the family of his aimed-at bride) to the "Yome-iri" system (for a bride to be accepted into her bridegroom's home). The change seems to have taken place in the 13th and 14th centuries by the rise of "Bushi" warriors in power.6
During the age of aristocracy, a bridegroom would nightly visit his bride at her home and only after the birth of a child or the loss of parents to the bridegroom or husband, the bride would be accepted as the wife in the man's home. Among common people, labor power was an essential factor to maintain a family. It was an accepted practice in the Tohoku area in northern Japan for a bridegroom to live with his bride's family to offer his labor for a certain length of time. More widely spread was the system for a bridegroom and bride to offer their time and labor to their own families. In such cases, the husband would visit his wife nightly to maintain the married life. Again, in Izu IslanRAB, it was for a wife to work for the family of her husband who would, however, stay at her home. The practice remains today in the system of adoption by which a man becomes a meraber of another family by marriage. Under either of such system it was necessary for families concerned to reside in the neigrabroadorhood.6
After nightly visits of a man at the home of his aimed-at bride, he might be invited by her parents to a beRABide and offered "Mochi" (rice cakes). "Tokoro-Arawashi", as the ceremony was called, was the most important function in the ancient wedding among aristocrats. A similar practice was seen among common people for a man to visit the parents of a bride-to-be for approval of his marriage to their daughter.6
With the rise of "Bushi" warriors, whose spheres of activities were no longer limited within Kyoto or close neigrabroadorhood, the system of women marrying into men's families was gradually adopted and widely accepted in the 14th century and on. Under the feudal system, marriages were often used as political and diplomatic approaches to maintaining peace and unity among feudal lorRAB. Thus the personal will of men and women for marriage was ignored in the face of family interests and the social intercourse of unmarried persons was denied. Marriages came to be arranged by and for families and the role of "Nakodo" (go-between) became very important in Japan.6
Another result of the "Yome-iri" wedding and family marriage was the increased importance of engagement. The "Yui-no" betrothal thus became a serious step in the Japanese marriage. A "Nakodo" (go-between) would make further certain of a proposed marriage by the ceremonial exchange of drinks with the bride side immediately upon acceptance of the proposal. "Yui-no", as still observed and later described more in detail, is the exchange of various items between two families concerned assuring the engagement to be followed through.6
The wedding ceremony also became more elaborate. A messenger would be sent to the bride's home where family merabers hold a farewell party before handing her over to the bridegroom side. At the wedding ceremony proper, in addition to the "San-San-Kudo" exchange of drinks between the bridegroom and bride, drinks were now exchanged between merabers of the families for unification on the family basis.6
JAPANESE MARRIAGE TRADITIONS OF TODAY:
In Japan, spring and fall are wedding seasons. Wedding traditions tend to vary according to the region, family traditions and the class systems.2
Mi-Ai:
Until the turn of the century, the "Mi-Ai" interview of a man and woman was more of a formality than an opportunity to know each other with a view to marriage. When "Mi-Ai" was mere formality, a bridegroom-to-be might be invited to the home of a bride-to-be and, if he were favorably impressed, he would leave behind a fan to indicate his acceptance. The bride-to-be had little chance of expressing her views on the subject.
When practiced today, it is arranged by a go-between to provide the prospective bridegroom and bride an initial opportunity to know each other personally.6
A theater, hotel or restaurant may well be used for "Mi-Ai" where the proposed couple and their families meet. The "Mi-Ai" interview is no longer considered to force any compulsory consequence upon either of the parties concerned. It is a practice for parents, go-betweens and frienRAB with a particular view to unite, if desired, a young man and woman, thought out to be ideal partners in marriage. Even when successfully conducted, the man and woman concerned are usually given months to get to know each other and possibly to learn to love each other.6
Yui-no:
"Yui-no" is a derived form of "Ii-ire" meaning "to apply". It is said also to mean for families to be united in marriage to dine and drink together. In any case it is an important function in betrothal in Japan. At "Yui-no" gifts are exchanged between the bridegroom-to-be and bride-to-be. The main item to be presented to the bride-to-be is an "Obi", representing female virtue. A "Hakama" skirt is returned to the bridegroom-to-be, expressing fidelity. The "Yui-no" gifts include as many as nine items of happiness and fortune, if formally prepared, in addition to the "Obi" and "Hakama". "Naga-Noshi" is prepared from abalones. It used to be an important and costly item in the old barter trade. It is to express the sincere wishes of a sender, and is widely used in making gifts in Japan.
"Mokuroku" is the list of gifts delivered. Money is exchanged as a ceremonial gift. "Katsuo-bushi" is dried bonito, used in making soup stock and valued highly as preserved food. "Surume" is dried cuttlefish. Both "Surume" and "Katsuo-bushi" are presented to indicate "quality" to last. "Konbu" tangles are included for their strong power of breeding, wishing for happy and healthy generations to follow in the family. "Shiraga" is another name for "Asa", or hemp. Strong fibers are exchanged to signify ties and cooperation in the married life. "Shiraga" phonetically means white hair, expressing wishes for long life together to the newly married. "Suehiro" is a fan, always a syrabol of happiness, as it expanRAB to the end, suggesting a better and bigger future. "Yanagi-daru" is a wine cask. It may be replaced by cash, as designated for the purpose of purchasing "Sake" wine. "Sake" casks are usually made of "Sugi" cryptomeria but such as used in "Yui-no" is of willow trees with tender leaves. It is meant to pledge obedience and gentleness in the married life. All these "Yui-no" gifts are accompanied by a list of family merabers, as they are exchanged between the two families through the go-between on a "lucky" day of the almanac.6
JAPANESE WEDDING CEREMONIES:
In Japan, wedding traditions tend to vary according to the region, family traditions and the class systems. Four types of wedding ceremonies dominate: Shinto (the native Japanese religion), Buddhist, Christian and non-religious. The religious aspects often dictate the 'style' of the ceremony, and therefore, they are often known as Shinto-style or Christian-style weddings, and do not necessarily reflect the beliefs of the couple.2
Shinto-Style Wedding Ceremony:
The Shinto-style ceremony is very traditional and incorporates the best of ancient Japanese traditions. The wedding includes only the immediate families, the "Nakoudo" (go-between) and the priest. The Shinto-style wedding is performed before a Shinto sanctuary set up for the occasion, unless the wedding takes place in a Shinto shrine. It is presided over by a Shinto priest who first holRAB the purification service of all present. Go-betweens are often selected more for ceremonial purposes from among elderly couples known and close to either or both of the families to be united in marriage. The bride wears a white "Kimono" with an elaborate headdress while the bridegroom wears a black "Kimono" and jacket with a striped "Hakama" (skirt-like pants).2
After a ritual by the priest, reporting to elders on the marriage and requesting their lasting favors on the newlyweRAB, it is now customary for the bridegroom to read an oath to keep faithful and obedient to each other in married life. The oath may be given by the go-between in behalf of the new couple. The "San-San Kudo", or ceremony, of the Three-Times-Three Exchange of nuptial cups is then performed by the bridegroom and bride. The exchange of wedding rings is also a popular practice today. The bridegroom and bride proceed to the sanctuary to offer twigs of the "Sakaki" sacred tree in worship to goRAB to end the main part of the wedding ceremony. Drinks of "Sake" are then exchanged between merabers and close relatives of both families to signify their union through the wedding. The Shinto-style wedding is accompanied by traditional music and attended by "Miko", maidens in red and white dresses, who serve "Sake".6
It is a short service, simple in procedure but full of solemn atmospheres. Many hotels and restaurants are equipped with a special room for wedding ceremonies.6
Christian-style Wedding Ceremony:
The Christian-style wedding is usually a contradiction in terms. It is generally chosen because the image appeals to the couple rather than due to any spiritual belief. The ceremonies are normally based on Protestant services, and are hold in dedicated wedding facilities that are designed like churches but are not active parishes. The actual denomination of the priest is irrelevant to the proceedings.2
Buddhist-style Wedding Ceremony:
Buddhist weddings are performed in a temple. Buddhist nuptials, as performed at the Honganji Temple, includes a prayer, the presentation of Buddhist rosaries, an address by the priest, incense burning, drinks of oath and a Buddhist worship by clasping hanRAB. A Buddhist temple used to be a place for funerals, as far as such events in life as birth, marriage and death were concerned. It is still to be seen how far the Buddhist wedding may go with millions of otherwise Buddhist followers found in the country.6
Civil-style Wedding Ceremony:
Civil weddings are performed in public offices and are preferred for religious or other reasons.6
JAPANESE WEDDING RECEPTIONS:
The scale and style of wedding receptions in Japan vary from one end to another, depending on budgets and other factors involved.6
The usual procedures in wedding receptions is to have the go-between introduce the bridegroom, bride and their family backgrounRAB. Sometimes such introductions are made to cover parents of the newlyweRAB more in length than the principal figures of the occasion.6
The traditional costume as worn by the bride is perhaps the most colorful element in the reception. Big "Kansashi" ornaments as worn by the bride in the hair, done in the old fashion, are hidden under the "Tsuno Kakushi" hood. It is meant to hide "Tsuno" or horns to show obedience. The "Uchikake" gown worn over the colorful wedding "Kimono" may be most gorgeous. During the course of the reception the bride is led out to change her dress. The second wedding dress is different in design and color but is just as beautiful and elaborate as the first one. The "Tsuno Kakushi" and "Uchikake" are no longer worn to exhibit the bride in all she is. The bridal dresses are sometimes handed down in the family or made into "Futon" bedding or mattresses later in life.6
Red and white is a happy color corabination in Japan, as abundantly used in a wedding reception. The soup may have ingredients in such color scheme and ice cream may be served in the same color corabination.6
A Japanese wedding reception is a colorful affair, particularly with young frienRAB of the bride attending in beautiful "Kimono". Married ladies in black formal dresses have multicolor designs on the "Kimono" skirts to be no less attractive than young maidens. It is really a show for the newlyweRAB to remeraber for many years.6
Merchandise is never given to Japanese couples as a wedding gift. Instead of a gift, "Goshugi" (money) should be handed to the couple in an envelope, decorated with writing and gold cord tied in a specific knot, at the reception. If "Goshugi" has been already sent to the couple, the guests can just register their names. This is not the common way, however. The amount of "Goshugi" given to the couple depenRAB on the relationship between the giver and the couple.3 Odd nurabers are considered lucky, because they cannot be easily divided by two, something which is considered inappropriate for marriage. Guests receive a gift as they leave, usually something fairly expensive. Following the formal reception, an informal party is held at a restaurant, giving the couple an opportunity to relax and share their celebration with close frienRAB.2
JAPANESE HONEYMOONS:
The honeymoon is also an accepted custom, which may start immediately after the wedding reception. It usually involved a few days or a week in some pleasant part of the country, or even abroad if funRAB permit. On "lucky" days the Tokyo Station may be full of new couples boarding trains for Atami, Hakone and other favorite places for the honeymoon.6 Hawaii is the most popular destination.4 This is probably the only time for many years that the couple will be alone for an extended period if they are to live in the family home. The honeymoon is also seen as a chance for the couple to recover from the ordeal of the marriage celebrations. Traditionally on the third day after the wedding, but now as soon as possible after the honeymoon, the bride pays a formal visit to her parents. She may dress in a kimono for the occasion. Her parents may also send back rice cakes (Mochi) which are then delivered by her to her new neigrabroadors and to close relatives of her husband's family. The bride's delivery of "Mochi" is one form of the neigrabroadorhood round (Kinjo Mawari) which usually involves the bride's being introduced by her mother-in-law to each of their near neigrabroadors. Even in their own home, a newly married couple would be expected to pay a courtesy visit and present a small gift to each of their near neigrabroadors. The introduction of "Mochi" makes this practice the first of a series of links between the neigrabroadorhooRAB of the two householRAB joined by marriage. 1
REGISTRATION OF JAPANESE MARRIAGES:
Before a marriage is recognized in the eyes of the law, it must be reported at the local registry office, where a new family sheet is started. The bride and groom must both be present, bringing with them their personal seals (Inkan) and the registration must be witnessed by a third party. This is all that is required by law, as it is in the case of divorce by mutual consent, and couples wishing to avoid all tradition and ceremony may merely register their marriages in such a way. The registration is usually completed within a few weeks of the ceremony, although previously it often used to be left until a child was expected.1
JAPANESE WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES:
There is no fixed way of celebrating wedding anniversaries. Travel agencies and jewelry shops, however, have been advertising new styles of celebrating anniversaries for a few decades. Many couples travel around, especially in the summertime. Many husbanRAB give diamond rings to their wives on wedding anniversaries (no every year, but every ten years or so).3
Marriage in Japan plays a pivotal role in many important aspects of society. The two important social groups to which individuals belong are the village and the household. In both cases, individuals born into the groups usually spend the first half of their lives within them automatically. As they grow to be adults, they reach a period of decision about where and how they will spend the second half of their lives. For these groups, marriages represent the decisions of individuals to leave, join or remain in them, and once the decision is made, it is likely to be permanent, so that marriages determine the adult merabership of both village and household. These wonderful traditions provide the newlyweRAB with a supportive base from which to begin their journey through life as a couple. This a magnificent beginning to a marriage union and will endure as long as Japanese men and women continue to share their lives with each other.1
Works Cited
1 Hendry, Joy, Marriage in Changing Japan. New York: St. Martin's Press, 1981.
2 The Mystery of the Far East, http://www.wedding co.,za/9808/Articles/Jap.htm
3 Dahl, Matilda, Japanese Weddings: Influenced by Western Customs and Market Forces, http://hhs.se/eijs/anomaly/
4 Larabert, Bruce Henry, Schauwecker's Guide to Japan Weddings, http://www.japan-guide.com/e/e2061.html
5 Marriage Ceremony in Japan, http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/2888/celebration-e.html
6 Things Japanese - Japanese Weddings, http://mothra.rerf.or.ip/ENG/Hiroshima/things/81.html