Just Somebody
New member
you give me advice? Well, my boyfriend and I broke up about 8 months ago.. it was a pretty bad breakup. We had been going out for a year and 4 months before that but well unfortunately, I messed everything up 
I accept that it was my fault and I take full responsibility (I told him that). Since I love him so much, I confessed to him what happened (I don't want to say) hoping that we could work it out and well I'm not sure, I guess I just hoped we could work it out and eventually get back together. That is not the way things turned out. I told him what happened and he said some pretty mean things..i got cursed out. I just accepted everything he said. He called me things and I agreed. I wasn't going to argue with him, he had every right to be mad and I sort of agreed anyway (I guess you could say I have a self-esteem issue). I accepted everything he called me and everything he said even though it hurt me more than anybody could imagine. I love him, I did not want to try to blame it on him or blame something else, I knew it was my fault, I accepted it. After that, we still talked, trying to talk things out and I guess maybe fix things. He seemed willing to try to get over it and continue our relationship at first (although there were some arguements, more him yelling at me and me crying and apologizing a million times, every now and then). After a while, it seems his friends' "advice" got to him and he seemed less willing to try to make things work. It hurt me because I thought he loved me. I kept trying (and am still trying) to prove to him that I'm serious about loving him and about wanting to be with him. We hung out a lot and still talked a lot and I was (and still am) always there for him even when it was like 5 seconds after he cursed me out. I know I let him down but I kept trying to make him see I'm not a completely horrible person, that I do love him. I got really depressed with this situation and I stopped eating, hurt myself in some instances (stupid, I know) but I still kept trying. There has not been one day that I do not try to talk to him. I always tell him good morning and good night and I text him to try to talk to him. Sometimes he replies, sometimes he doesn't. Regardless, I keep trying and am still here for whatever he needs. I never give him no as an answer. I'm not sure if he just talks to me because it's convenient for him (since I will always do what he asks me to do) or if it's because he really wants to. It's been 8 months since then and things got a little better, seeing as how we don't really argue anymore, but it doesn't seem like he cares about me as much. At times, it seems things are getting better and I get my hopes up, but then the next day, he doesn't talk to me or something and my hopes get crushed. He knows I still love him, I've told him and it seems he uses it to his advantage. He has done things to "get back at me" including telling me he kissed other people (because he knows how much that hurts me). I still keep trying though, the next day I saw him and tried to pretend he never told me anything. I've already told him that I'm going to keep trying until he tells me he wants absolutely nothing to do with me anymore but I dont know what to do anymore. We hang out a lot and talk a lot and people still think we're together. They've called him my boyfriend in front of him but he doesn't say anything (which confuses me more). I've talked to friends but they tell me to forget about him or stop talking to him but they just don't understand how I feel. I usually don't go to people for help with this but I'm getting depressed again and don't know what to do. It seems I've done everything I can think of but it hasn't exactly helped too much. I love him, I really do, I wouldn't be trying so hard if I didn't. But I just don't know how else to show him I'm serious about him. What more can I do? We still sometimes act like we're together so I'm confused on the situation. I have come to the point where I'm starting to think the worst of myself..that I'm just horrible and stuff. It's been a long time. I need advice. Please and thank you. I'm sorry this is so long but I felt I needed to include all this information.
I accept that it was my fault and I take full responsibility (I told him that). Since I love him so much, I confessed to him what happened (I don't want to say) hoping that we could work it out and well I'm not sure, I guess I just hoped we could work it out and eventually get back together. That is not the way things turned out. I told him what happened and he said some pretty mean things..i got cursed out. I just accepted everything he said. He called me things and I agreed. I wasn't going to argue with him, he had every right to be mad and I sort of agreed anyway (I guess you could say I have a self-esteem issue). I accepted everything he called me and everything he said even though it hurt me more than anybody could imagine. I love him, I did not want to try to blame it on him or blame something else, I knew it was my fault, I accepted it. After that, we still talked, trying to talk things out and I guess maybe fix things. He seemed willing to try to get over it and continue our relationship at first (although there were some arguements, more him yelling at me and me crying and apologizing a million times, every now and then). After a while, it seems his friends' "advice" got to him and he seemed less willing to try to make things work. It hurt me because I thought he loved me. I kept trying (and am still trying) to prove to him that I'm serious about loving him and about wanting to be with him. We hung out a lot and still talked a lot and I was (and still am) always there for him even when it was like 5 seconds after he cursed me out. I know I let him down but I kept trying to make him see I'm not a completely horrible person, that I do love him. I got really depressed with this situation and I stopped eating, hurt myself in some instances (stupid, I know) but I still kept trying. There has not been one day that I do not try to talk to him. I always tell him good morning and good night and I text him to try to talk to him. Sometimes he replies, sometimes he doesn't. Regardless, I keep trying and am still here for whatever he needs. I never give him no as an answer. I'm not sure if he just talks to me because it's convenient for him (since I will always do what he asks me to do) or if it's because he really wants to. It's been 8 months since then and things got a little better, seeing as how we don't really argue anymore, but it doesn't seem like he cares about me as much. At times, it seems things are getting better and I get my hopes up, but then the next day, he doesn't talk to me or something and my hopes get crushed. He knows I still love him, I've told him and it seems he uses it to his advantage. He has done things to "get back at me" including telling me he kissed other people (because he knows how much that hurts me). I still keep trying though, the next day I saw him and tried to pretend he never told me anything. I've already told him that I'm going to keep trying until he tells me he wants absolutely nothing to do with me anymore but I dont know what to do anymore. We hang out a lot and talk a lot and people still think we're together. They've called him my boyfriend in front of him but he doesn't say anything (which confuses me more). I've talked to friends but they tell me to forget about him or stop talking to him but they just don't understand how I feel. I usually don't go to people for help with this but I'm getting depressed again and don't know what to do. It seems I've done everything I can think of but it hasn't exactly helped too much. I love him, I really do, I wouldn't be trying so hard if I didn't. But I just don't know how else to show him I'm serious about him. What more can I do? We still sometimes act like we're together so I'm confused on the situation. I have come to the point where I'm starting to think the worst of myself..that I'm just horrible and stuff. It's been a long time. I need advice. Please and thank you. I'm sorry this is so long but I felt I needed to include all this information.