It Only Happens In The Movies...

It doesn't matter how many films or TV programmes the victim has seen, they will still venture outside when they hear something strange, usually in the dead of night.

Meals are prepared but rarely consumed.

The hero has to be beaten to a pulp before he gets a miraculous second wind and fights back.
 
Continuity errors only happen in movies.....never ever have I walked from the kitchen into the dining room and have the mug I was carrying mysteriously disappear.
 
A soldier who announces he's a pianist at the start of the film is sure to lose a hand later on.

A soldier who shows us his picture of a loved-one in a locket is sure to have his life saved by the locket when a bullet hits it.
 
Characters always indulge in sexual intercourse whilst still wearing their underwear.

In car chases, when the cars are dodging wildly through traffic there is never anyone on a motorbike who would be hidden by other vehicles.

In basketball films the final shot will go in if bounces on the rim at least two or three times beforhand. If it only hits he rim once, or if itn goes past three times the shot will be missed. It nevver goes straight in.

In baseball films the batsman is always looking away from the point of contact well before striking the ball - and normally has his eyes closed.
 
The driver of a car can talk to and look at the passenger for minutes at a time without crashing, avoiding any other vehicle or coming to any traffic lights.

There can be a fight involving getting wet, muddy, bloodied and generally filthy yet in the next scene, and in the same clothes, our hero still looks clean and smart.
 
Being able to land a jumbo jet safely by following instructions from the control tower, despite never flying before.

Being able to knock ANYONE unconscious for AGES (first time EVERY time), simply by hitting them on the head.

spending months/years in a foreign hell-hole prison and emerging with still perfectly white teeth!
(Jack Bauer/Bond)

Being able to unpick nut-house handcuRAB with a hairpin (whilst still tied up!!!)
(Sarah Connor)

Never, ever, E-V-E-R stall a car, even if its one youre unfamilar with and havent driven before!

Find keys to a random getaway vehicle by looking under the visor.
 
Any police officer who announces his impending retirement will die in a hail of bullets.

All computers are Macs.

All canned food is carefully positioned to enable the label to be read easily.

No woman can run more than 10 feet without falling over and twisting her ankle.

No police officer ever sneaks up on a suspect; he hails him from across the street, thus giving him a decent head start in the painfully slow foot pursuit which follows (see almost every episode of The Bill).
 
You can only hear a helicopter if you can see it !

Train drivers NEVER stop, doesn't matter if they have run over a car or chasing down fat kiRAB on bridges.
 
In American Football films....the washed up, alcoholic quarterback (usually Keanu Reeves) will pull off an incredible win complete with slow motion catch as the clock expires. The same quarterback who was previously hated by the fans and the coach willl be hoisted on team mates shoulders after hugging the coach
 
Bruce Willis, Tom Cruise etc will ALWAYS win against evil.

Then they'll be back to win against evil again and again and again. :rolleyes:

(unless Hollywood tells Tom it's time he played an evil character himself for a bit of a change)
 
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