It Only Happens In The Movies...

No matter which hotel you stay in in London - you can see Big Ben and the houses of Parliament. Same is true of Paris and the Eiffel Tower.

You will never hear the bad guys approaching until they are in view - even if they are approaching in a helicopter or a tank, or on a motorbike.
 
I can't remember the title, but did the film have a character (Jeff Daniels) called Noone?

I think it was called Blood Work (just checked on IMBD)

I thought that was daft aswell when I seen.. :rolleyes::D
 
Bachelors, to show they're unmarried, always have empty fridges aside from one container, which they have to sniff before making a face. Then they order chinese food just by saying 'chinese?' to their guests and nobody ever specifies what they'd like and when it comes it arrives in what looks like milk cartons, which everybody helps themselves to straight out of the carton using chopsticks, which they can use.
 
Yeah. Blood Work did feature him getting it on with the main female character against all probability, but that is as nothing compared to his bedroom activities in True Crime. It's a great film, but he's supposed to be a womaniser. And even given he's playing a role that's designed for someone half his age, the opening where he's trying to seduce a woman young enough to be his granddaughter is beyond sleazy.
 
Film cars never start the first time when you're running away from the bad guy.

Any lock can be picked with a credit card or a paper clip. Any safe can be opened in a few minutes with a stethoscope or some high-tech equipment with lots of blinking lights.

All beRAB have a special L-shaped top sheet, which reaches up to armpit level on women but only to waist level on men.
 
A big one - If you're a 'bad' guy firing a gun it is almost impossible to hit a 'good' guy, regardless of gun type or range. Should by chance a bullet from your never ending magazine actually not be deflected by the dinner tray/cardboard box/piece of paper the good guy is holding and hit them then it will certainly be nothing more than a flesh wound. Something that can easily be shrug off with a 'I aint got time to bleed' comment.
 
People sharing a bed for the night never suffer from 'morning breath', they just wake up and carry on kissing where they left off.

Whenever anyone is rushing to an airport to catch someone before their flight, they always get there exactly as they are about to go through to customs, no matter how far away their journey started from.

When someone is arrested and comes face-to-face with their victim, the arresting police officers always allow him to stop and speak and 'solve' the mystery.

Radios are always turned on in the middle of a song, never the news or an advert.
 
No one showers after sex - unless its a lead on to another sex scene - this time in the shower itself.

The leading lady in a romantic comedy will often have an a sharp witty not-as-attractive-as-her female friend/sister/boss/colleague full of one liners.

The fat/chubby girl/guy is always the best friend/colleague/sibling

In a horror film - the slaggy girls always get killed first.

Single women in movies are portrayed as living off microwave meals/take outs and tubs of ice cream yet all of them are slim and perfectly proportioned.

When a film is shot in England - everyone speaks mockney no matter what part of the country the film is shot in - well either mockney or a cut glass english posh accent.
 
(I just watched Doctor Who)
Whenever there's a bridge across a big chasm or across an enormous service shaft in a spaceship, it's always only just wide enough to put one foot in front of the other, and only strong enough to hold the weight of one person at a time.
To the engineers who design these bridges: MAKE THEM WIDER AND STRONGER! :D
 
Nubile young women can't wait to get it on with flabby old men in their seventies (just watched a fairly recent Clint movie)

Heroes never get colRAB, or got to the toilet.

Anybody dying of a long-lingering and painful illness gets it over with quickly and conveniently, stays lucid and photogenic 'til the end, and always has some useful to the plot last worRAB on their lips when the machine that goes bleep goes eeeeeee, at which stage you have to shout 'nurse' and six come running with machinery although as none of them have been paid for speaking roles they cut to the family who has to look at each other and shake their heaRAB and wait for the doctor to arrive with the bad news, and he must be wearing a stethoscope. It's then essential for one person to break down, another to do some cuddling, and another to stalk off to avoid showing emotion but then break down later after getting told a heart-rendering story about the deceased's life. The hero on the other hand must go to a bar to have one of those unfinished drinks in a place where it's always midnight and nobody ever sneezes in the complimentary peanuts...
 
And more of 'em! It's always strange that no matter how vast the chasm to be crossed there's only ever one walkway available. Also, one crossee must be overweight, one, and only one, must have vertigo, the most confident must fall, and the walkway must creak on the second person, break a bit on the third, and snap only when the penultimate crossee is going across and the baddies are closing, leaving the hero to do something, well, heroic.
 
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