it hurts so badly

I

invader_cuban

New member
Guh I swear this entire day has been somewhat bi-polar for me.

First I feel confident. Then I feel shitty. Then I feel relatively optimistic, then I'm a brooding pessimist. And to make matters worse, she's branching out and having this huuuge conversations about hanging out with one of my friends...and she admitted to having a sort of 'crush' on him.

I brought it up with her actually. She said she never intended to start anything from it and that she felt bad for having it in the first place. She explicitly told me, in person, that she didn't want to have anything to do with him relationship-wise. I don't know really...I just feel really fucked over right now.

Now I don't even know what side I'm fighting for...I feel like maybe it'd be better if I just didn't try to get back together with her...I mean part of me wants to and the other part(the cynical, pessimistic side)says that she's only putting me on hold so that she can test out this Kyle kid.

It's probably waaaayyy too soon to jump to these conclusions..and I know that...its just that I seriously cannot stop thinking about it and I have to express what's going through my head to someone since it's way too late over here for me to do that now.
 
That's normal. You're revaluating yourself.



Don't fight. If you act like you don't care, it'll confuse her. That whole she wants what she can't have thing. If she knows you'll take her back she's not interested. If she starts to wonder... hmmmm you're a challenge and much more enticing.



Again, that's normal. You'll find yourself one day saying "Holy shit, I haven't even thought about her... hey, that chick's cute." Then you'll feel guilty and beat yourself up. And then the next time you'll do the same thing but you won't feel as guilty or beat yourself up AS much.

And pretty soon it'll all be good and you'll be moved on or back with her. Either way, just play it cool.
 
I appreciate the help Uber:)

I've talked with a bunch of my friends and most of them agree with both with you and what I've been doing right now.

I've basically distanced myself from her but not completely, and I'm definitely not going to play the upset card. That never works. I've been myself, and I haven't changed anything in how I act to anyone. I still talk to her just as a friend, but she invited me over today and I said that I'd have to take a raincheck.

Meh...I'm working on it. Thanks anyway...I'm going to try and get some sleep tonight. If you have any other ideas...please post them. Anything that helps me get some more sleep is much appreciated.
 
Well today was a bit better until the end of the day.

At first it was a little awkward...and then we talked about this whole Kyle thing and once again she reassured me that she wasn't going to date him. And I believe her, and I understand. But she was miffed that I talked to Erik about it even though she had told me that day(which happened to be yesterday)in the car. I basically told her that all I was doing was just thinking on it and getting it out of my conscious(sp?). Anyway she was pissed off that I even thought about it, and I told her that I trusted her I was just double-checking my own thoughts and seeing if I wasn't being silly. She walked away from me, pissy, and tired of dealing with things. What...I'm I not supposed to care? Can I not think for myself? Meh I told her that I trusted her and she knows that so anyway...moving on

So later on, I caught her before school ended and I asked her if everything was ok, and she said that she was just done with dealing with everything. She was just done dealing with it and didn't want to think about it. I told her that this is why we're taking a break, and that she has as much time as she needs to figure things out. Then she kind of sat there, looking semi-puppy-eyed.

Her friends came up and started talking to her but she was unresponsive and I felt kind of bad for her, I mean today was just way too much shit for her to handle.

She said, "I'm just gonna go to class." and walked away. I told her to wait up for a second, and when she stopped and turned around, I simply said:

"Listen...everything will be ok. I know you're under a lot of stress and it's going to be ok in the end."

To which she replied:

"YOU'RE FREAKING OUT. OMFG WHY DO YOU KEEP BRINGING IT UP QUIT SPAZZING OMFG. I'M NOT FREAKING OUT. I'M NOT. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S FREAKING OUT."

No folks, I'm not exaggerating in caps-lock. She was seriously pissed off.

To which I replied, as calmly as before:

"I'm just telling you that everything will be brighter in the end and that I understand where you are coming from."

To which she replied again, pissed off:

"WHATEVER. I'M DONE TALKING ABOUT THIS. I'M JUST DONE. DON'T TALK TO ME."

[cue storming off]

I admit, I probably should have dropped it and not tried to comfort her but y'know it was a simple gesture of kindness and that I still wanted to be here for her but she just...lost it. I'm just not going to talk to her for a while. All of this shit is so fucked up.

In all my valiant efforts to make something better or at least try to make something just a tad sweeter, I tend to fuck it up somehow.

I'm just going to sit here for a while and just not do anything. Maybe if I just don't say anything to her for a while she will calm the hell down and we can actually have a pleasant conversation.
 
You'd probably be better off writing this in a journal than making a thread. How are we supposed to follow a day-to-day analysis of your life and actually care?
 
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