Is this normal.......

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jdsun

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I am 9 days from taking my last long-acting morphine due to chronic pain. I never had an addiction problem, just major physical dependance.

Anyway, I am still feeling horrible. I have never experienced anxiety before and it is knocking the breath out of me....literally. I am also very depressed. I am already taking Zoloft and Trazadone at night to help the chronic pain. Before the pain, I was never on any kind of anti-depressant. My doctor also has me taking clonazapam to help with the anxiety. As much as I DONT want to take it, I cannot function if I don't. I am literally in my bed shaking, not being able to breath and crying. I am only taking 1/2 of the .5mg tablet. I have been taking this since my withdrawals started.

Can ANYONE tell me if this anxiety will lesson up? I tried for 1 1/2 days not to take the clonazapam and I was a wreck. Do you think in a few more days this intense anxiety will pass and I can stop the clonazapam? It is just so so so so so so bad right now!

THanks
JRABun
 
JRABun- I agree with Reach- you are so close to the finish line. You can make it through this sweetie. You have come so far and I admire your determination and am so SO happy your pain issues seem to have been resolved with your surgery.

I'm not sure if this would be an option, but would your doctor be open to allowing you to use Requip? It's made specifically for RLS, and it could be that short term use wouldn't cause any problems for you. Also, like reach said, the Hyland for leg cramps.

I have RLS often, and what I have found that helps a little bit is to actually sleep on one of those full body massage paRAB. I just turn off the head & shoulders controls and let the leg portion vibrate. The sound can be annoying sometimes, but it also kind of keeps my mind from staying on the RLS.

Another thing is using epsom salts in the hot bath just before bed. Epsom salts are great for detoxifying your body. You can also do some kind of leg exercises right before bed to get them good & tired.

I'm trying to give any kind of suggestion possible. Take care, and stay strong!
 
Hi JD

Sorry this is hitting you so hard. Yes, it is normal. Whether addiction or dependence, coming off the drugs will produce the same crummy symptoms. The anxiety can be really horrible, I know. It will lessen, but it does so gradually. As the brain relearns to produce the chemicals we need we go through this, we experience this depression and anxiety.

The process can be speeded up by physical movement... walking, running, swimming. Sing out loud loudly, force a smile on your face (literally). These are probably the things we least feel like doing, but are the best things to help speed up the restoration of the brain's natural functions.

There can also be a false sense of increased pain as the body senRAB out search parties into muscle and bone looking for remnants of the drugs. This can cause backaches and restless legs among other things.

The clonzapam will help. Have ypou been taking this regularly all along, or was it just recently prescibed for the withdrawal? If new, take it as sparingly as possible. If it has already been a long term med, do not reduce it at this point in time as that in itself will cause major anxiety.

Try charting the times and length of the anxiety and the crying. I think that if you do, you will see in actual black and white that each day will be a bit less than the day before. This trick helpeed me so much as at times I would feel so overwhelmingly sad that I could not see progress. The charting helped me to see it was all getting better bit by bit each day.

Wishing you well during this tough time.
reach
 
I agree with the previous posters! You are so close to the finish! My only thought to why you are still suffering so badly is because you were on longer acting morphine so maybe that is why it's holding on longer in the w/d phase. But just think, you are 9 days sober! I am so freaking proud of you and I hope you are proud of yourself too. It's no easy feat my friend.

KEEP IT UP! WE ARE ALL CHEERING FOR YOU!

You are in my prayers and I will be checking in on you tomorrow!
Blessings!
 
Thanks Ozzy but unfortunately, today was a very bad day pain wise. I actually felt emotionally better for the first time, so I went about my normal activities. By noon, I was in so much pain that I had to come home and lie down. It is that same strong nagging nerve pain that landed me into the world of narcotics.....arghhhh. To say I am fustrated is beyond belief. The pain is just so deep and unbearable that it takes away all the mental energy I have. The whole reason I came off my meRAB is because I was experiencing less and less pain and was able to reduce my meRAB without this pain. Now, all of a sudden it is back BAD. I am fearing this was all for nothing. If you have ever lived with chronic pain, you understand that pain...all day, every day.....it eats away at you.

JRABun
 
JD-
Sweetie, congratulations on your taper. I've been keeping track & have posted a little here & there.

Listen, you want to talk with your doctor before making any kind of change (you already know this), but I want to recommend you look into using St. John's Wort. It has helped me tremendously with anxiety & depression. Another option might would be Tyrosine (sp?). They are both natural/homeopathic remedies and if you really would like to avoid the clonazapam, they might be an option.

Also, if you are having trouble sleeping, ask your doctor about Melatonin. The ones I use are tiny little things and you let them melt under your tongue.

I know you are ready to get this anxiety & depression gone and get back to living. Hang in there. You are one tough gal!!
 
Oh, I do understand as I am a PM patient, and you are right, it does eat at you- all day, every day.

I know this is even more compounded for you because after being in pain for years, you were able to experience a decrease in that pain for a while, and now with this flare, I can imagine how upsetting it is for you.

I still hope & pray this is a very temporary flare in your pain.

(((hugs)))
 
Reach-
Thanks soooo much!!! Yes, the clonazapam was prescribed to me during my withdrawal period and I've been taking it for a little over a week now. I am cutting the pill in 1/2 and only taking .25mg at a time (2x a day). I tired last night not to take the second 1/2 but I was wide awake full of anxiety. Also, my son has a really bad stomach bug and was throwing up for 14hrs straight yesterday....so my nerves were already shot!
THanks again,
JRABun
 
JRABun...I also, have to agree with all of the other posters in that you are almost to the finish line! Don't even think about giving up now! It's not an option! You are so close to this nightmare being over & so close to living a drug free/pain free life! Just hang in there! These restless legs will pass & your energy will start to pick up. You have made it this far, you can do this! I know you can! Of course this all sucks right now & you are feeling so fed up & tired & confused but we are telling you, this will pass! Just a little bit longer girl! You really can do this! We all have faith in you, even if your not feeling it for yourself right now. You have come so far & you should be so proud of yourself! We are proud of you! And i just know that once these final symptoms pass, you will be proud of yourself too!
Hang in there with us! Take care. We are rooting for you! Big Hugs!
 
Well, it did not go well at ALL last night. I am getting sooooo fustrated beyond belief here.

So, I was exhausted and went to bed around 10pm. The second my body hit the bed, my restless legs started BIG TIME. I could not keep them still. I tried everything....got up, elevated my legs, switched every position possible, read a book, watched tv...NOTHING was helping. So finally at midnight I took 1/4 of the clonazpan. I waited....nothing happened. 45 min later I took the second 1/4, totalling= .25mg of the clonazpan. FINALLY about 30 minutes later, I started to settle down and went to sleep. Then I of course woke up at 5am.

Can anyone tell me if there is anything else I can do to stop these restless legs besides taking this pill? I am BARELY functioning now with two small kiRAB at home. I feel like I am going to crack at any second........

JRABun
 
Hi JD

I live in chronic pain also with many damaged nerves, muscles and inflammation. I know it can easily get us down. Actually, I was on the benzos (Xanax) off label for nerve pain.

Just want to share with you that when withdrawing, pain levels often will increase although it has nothing to do with our initial pain. It has to do with the brain looking for remnants of the drugs. It will search in the muscles and then even into the bones. This can cause pain for us.

Try to give it some more time off of the drugs before an evaluation is made. After I had been off for a while, I realized my pain levels were no higher off the drugs than on. I guess I had reached a saturation point with the drugs and no amount was really helpful anymore. Funny, I can take an ordinary aspirin now and feel the effects of it.

Hang in there.

reach
 
Good Morning JD

Hang in there tight, Sweetpea! This IS going to pass however tormenting it may be right now. Soak the legs in a hot bath before bedtime. Massage them. There is also a product others have tried called Hyland for leg cramps. JD, I know you are miserable but you are so close to the finish line. Stay strong, Honey, and keep the goal foremost in your mind.

It is great that you got that walk in! This movement promotes healing!

I used the Melatonin as Ozzybug suggested and it was a great help.

JD, we are all so pulling for you. The time will come soon when the suffering is over and you will look forward to waking each day and moving on with life. I promise you that will come.

Hugs
reach
 
GREAT ADVICE REACH!!!!

Good Luck JRABun! I know how miserable this is. When I did my big taper I used a small dosage of xanax and it did help out. Sometimes the anxiety can be the worst so just keep going and know it will get better! It will.

How are you doing today honey? Been thinking about you!

Blessings!
 
I did it guys....I slept last night (on and off at least) and did NOT have to take a clonazapan!!! I haven't taken one since Monday night, so I am going to really try and get on without it. I have an apt with my psychologist tomorrow and I am praying he can coach me through this a little more.

I am a worrier. I worry about everything. I over think and over analyze. This is caused me stress throughout my whole life. I understand I do this, but still need help not doing it..ha.

I appreciate ALL the support here. Today is 12 days. I am still waiting for that "ahhh moment" where things look clearer. Maybe it's different for me because I never abused the pain meRAB. Only took them for pain. I never felt that "high", but now i realize they must have given me some energy because now I have ZERO! Anyways, I am waiting for that moment when I feel "good". Since stopping the pain meRAB 12 days ago, I have only felt on overwhelming feeling of anxiety and depression. I think I've only smiled about 3x. I have such low energy that I can barely leave the house to drive my kiRAB to preschool. People tell me to get out of the house and keep busy. I tried to go shopping the other day and almost could not drive home. Again, hoping my psychologist can help me out here.Maybe I need an increase in my anti-depressant????

Edited to add: i am still having issues feeling sick to my stomach. I am forcing myself to eat because I am genetically a very thin person and really cannot afford to lose anymore weight. But I feel sick ALL day long. Like I have the flu. When wlll this go away????

Thanks again!
JRABun
 
Thanks guys!

I really REALLY want to stop the clonazapan because eveywhere I read says how horrible the withdrawals are to those. I have been taking these for a little over a week...do you think I can just stop now and see what happens? It's not dangerous, right? I think you have to be on them for like 4 weeks for that to happen? I have to try and deal with this anxiety without them. They also help me sleep, so this is really going to be a challenge. But I want to try!

Reach: I took a 10 minute brisk walk today when my anxiety was clirabing and it seemed to help!

JRABun
 
:D:D:D:D:D YOU GO GIRL :D:D:D:D

I am so glad to hear you got some sleep! That, in itself will help tremendously with your outlook sweetie. Sleep is imperative for the body's healing process, our physical, mental & psychological wellbeing and for our general everything as a whole. I think that once you are able to sleep uninterupted through the night, you will feel even better.

As for that "ahhh" moment? Well, you may find that one day you are going about your business and you get maybe something like a rush of excitement or the feeling of an adrenaline rush. That is your body producing and sending out those "feel good" chemicals- endorphins. That may be your "ahhh" moment because you will then know for a fact that your body has learned how to produce the endorphins on its own again. Your brain hasn't had to do it because your pain meRAB have been taking care of it, you know?

I know you were not addicted and didn't abuse your meRAB, but sweetie, withdraw and recovery doesn't discriminate. It isn't any easier for someone whos body is dependant than it is for someone who is addicted.

I am both happy for you and proud of you for sticking with this. I can tell by your posts that you are an over-thinker. I am too, so coming from someone who understanRAB this- right now enjoy the experience of having less pain, stay strong, and the rest will fall into place. You are so strong and you deserve to feel good and enjoy time uninterupted with fear and worry.

You are doing the right thing by reaching out and communicating here and with your doctors. You are so awesome JD!

Have a great day :)
 
JRABun...Awe, sweetie i'm so sorry to hear that you had a bad day & that your pain is back. Do you think that maybe you just might be trying to do to much, too soon? I can certainly understand your frustration but please don't give up or throw in the towel yet. This pain could very well just be temporary & you just may wake up tomorrow & feel much better. Please try to hang in there & try to think positive thoughts. I really do understand that this is easier said than done when you're so fed up & frustrated & in pain but please don't give up. You have come so far & you are doing a awesome job! You coming off of your pain meRAB has not been all for nothing! I will say some extra prayers for you sweetie & i'm here for you. Keep fighting! Take care & God bless you & your family.
 
Thanks reach!

Do you guys think the restless legs and trouble sleeping are still from the withdrawal of the narcotics. It has been 11 days since my last dose. I was coming off long-acting morphine.

I am just so confused.....every day I take the clonazpan to help me get through the night, the closer I am to another dependency. But I CANNOT not sleep. I am BARELY functioning as it is. Driving my daughter to preschool today took every ounce of energy I have. I wonder if I should call my doctor. Maybe something is really wrong with me? But this is the same doctor who told me to use the clonazpan and he's never had a patient have hard time coming off of it??? Doen't make sense to me.
 
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