Is this normal?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Secrets1983
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56789;

Hey :D Thanks so much for sharing that with me. Wow you've been through a lot!!! Im so glad you've made it through :angel: Ive been thinking alot about what you've said - when i went to NA i was doing it for other people not for myself. Listening to their stories made me want to go out and score again because i wasnt ready to give up! Maybe this time it might be better as i really dont want to use again? Im still a bit worried that hearing everyone talk about drugs might push me back into old habits. Even though its been over 13 months now that i last used i still dont know if im strong enough to be in that kind of situation just yet. I am definately more open to the idea though now that my situation is different from the last time :)
Im so glad that you've found something that works for you and keeps you going and im so proud that you persevered with it even when you didn't like it!! :D Hopefully one day, through what ever means necessary, we will all find peace with our demons :angel:
I hope you are having a great day Scott ! Big hugs Rach :D
 
Great post emsmom!

You always know how to put things into perspective for the rest of us!

Thank you! Your post helped me a lot!

Hope you are doing great rksn!
XOXOXO
 
Hey everyone just a quick update :wave:
Day 2 with no headache!! Yay!! Still not getting much sleep but i can deal with that.
I rang NA last night and again this morning - still no answer!!! I left yet another message. Im beginning to think NA is a myth, kind of like the lochness monster :jester: Its kind of weird but im getting a little bit anxious that i cant get hold of anyone!?
Anyway i just really want to say hello to you all and i hope you are all doing really well today. :wave:
Rach xoxox
 
Isn't it something when you get to that point where you figure that out! I remeraber it just floored me.. I thought this whole addiction thing was not that big of an issue until I started researching and coming on here and realized there was a lot more to my issue of using that just me liking the pills... It was SOOOO much much more than that.. I took them to make me feel better thru a hard time I couldn't face.... Now that it's all over.. I am having to deal with everything all over again and it's overwhelming but we will all get thru this together one piece at a time.

You hang in there!
XOXOX
 
56789;

Hey Scott :D
I went to a couple of NA meetings earlier on but listening to everyone talk about their addictions made me crave even more!! I decided it would be better for myself not to go. Im really happy that everyone there found it helpful but unfortunately it didnt work for me. Talking to everyone on here though helps me more than any group has. I dont know why but for that, i am eternally greatfull.
I hope you have had lots to laugh and smile about today :D
Big hugs Rach :wave:
 
56789;

Hey :) thanks for your reply. I have to agree with you i had a lot of good times on the gear but there were more bad times than good towarRAB the end. Just like you i will have to fight it for the rest of my life. Some days are going to be harder than others but im not going to give up :D Im on the antidepressants for at least a year so with those and the regular counselling sessions i might finally be able to sort myself out. Well, i can only try :p ha!

I hope you are having an awesome day and you have lots to feel great about! :wave:

rksn xoxox
 
thanks rskn . your doing the right thing . an you will start felling better . alot of the substences that we take are depresents. an they make us feel deppressed . i know alot of people that get great results from antidepressents. an some that just need them for a year or two with there councleing . good for you i am so happy for you . hope you have a great day :)scott
 
rksn,

I also went to NA for a few meetings, but realized it wasn't for me. NA isn't for everyone.

emsmom
 
56789;

Hey how are you? :D I know what you mean about the money situation!! I dread to think about how much i ended up wasting on my addiction!! Like you i actually have a bank account now!! Kinda freaks me out ive never had one before!! Ha!! Im trying really hard to save up this year - i feel like i need to reward myself for all the stuff ive been through and having survived - i want to go to New York for my birthday :p Its not til Noveraber but it gives me a goal to work towarRAB. I still have my bad days where i know i cant pick up anymore and i hate the world again but then i think of everyone who's been in touch with me on this board and i pull my head in again.Ive had it pretty smooth so far compared to others out there and i have to remind myself of that now and then - a wee reality check.
Im with you on the laughter at least 10 minutes a day thing. I look at myself in the mirror as soon as i get up - there's at least 5 minutes worth of laughing my head off just there!! :jester: I get the other 5 minutes worth just going through my usual daily stuff ups:jester:
Im so glad you dont have to worry about repo anymore. Its a horrible situation to be in. Ive been known to run away from the repo man myself once or twice so i know where your coming from.:dizzy: Like you, since ive been clean i dont have to worry about repo anymore. Relief!!
Thanks so much for your message :) Its awesome to hear you are doing well and are finding things to smile about :) I hope you are having a brilliant day with lots to feel good about.Rach x:angel:
 
Hi rskn,

I'm great thank you :) I just finished my first week of out-patient treatment. I decided to go, hoping I can learn a little more - as I'm always looking for ways to protect myself and learn about recovery :) In any case, I'm very happy I went.

Don't fret if no one has called you back yet. Everyone in NA are recovering addicts. Once you hit a certain mark (six months in Canada), you can start doing service work. One example of these is working the phones - answering calls from people looking to know more about Narcotics Anonymous or those looking to find meetings. So, the person working the phones may be busy or perhaps your particular area didn't have someone available yesterday and today. I'm sure you'll get a call back soon. Just hang in there :)

NA is not a myth, I promise you :)

I'm sorry to hear your nightmares are still giving you trouble. Have you considered seeing a professional about it? I started going to a group discussion for women who were sexually abused as adolescents almost three months ago. Unfortunately, the memories were too much for me to handle and I relapsed. I had terrible nightmares, and I mean terrible. The kind you remeraber when you wake up (as that is not normally the case). My sheets would be soaked and I'd be in a horrible cold sweat. My addictions doctor (as well as my sponsor) told me to stop going to the group discussions. It took a few weeks for everything to settle down and I'm starting to feel better, however I still have to deal with this at some point. But, for the time being, it is too early in my recovery to start something of this magnitude.

Have you recently began dealing with this? Or, is it something that is just on your mind these days? Sorry, I don't have the time to look at your past threaRAB, I apologize - perhaps you've already mentioned this. I'm just curious as to why this is happeniing to you.

I won't be online tomorrow as I'm helping my great-aunt for the day but I'll be around Sunday. I hope you have a great weekend and happy, peaceful dreams :)

emsmom
 
Hi emsmom and secrets :-) thanks so much for your replys. Your quite right my mind ways always preoccupied with how/where/when pick ups, next pipes and the highs. I do have to keep on top of it and not let it get me down. I have to remind myself that i am better off without that shit and its going to take time to retrain my brain, get healthier habits. Thanks so much for putting it in perspective. :-) In an earlier thread i got some advice about exercise to lose weight etc and i also learned that exercise is the best thing for depression so ive gone and invested in a treadmill! I did 16 minutes this morning - nearly killed me! but i gotta start some where :-) Thanks heaps for your advice. I hope you are both doing well :-) xox
 
emsmom;

Hey emsmom :D how are you? I hope you are doing well and the day has been kind to you and yours :angel:
I may try NA again at a later date as my circumstances this time round are different but for now im just going to continue with my counselling. Im worried that listening to other people talk about their previous drug use may make me want to use again, so as you suggested, im going to follow my instincts. :)
As for my nightmares, they're not getting any better. I went the last two days without any sleep. I ended up going to the doctor and she gave me something to get some peaceful sleep - bliss!! For the first time in weeks my bed hasnt looked like a borab site in the morning!! Hopefully i wont have to go through this too long. Maybe it is too early in my recovery to deal with all of this? Im not sure. I have another appointment on Monday so maybe i'll come up with some answers then.
I hope you are having a brilliant stress free day :D
Big hugs Rach
 
Hi Rach :)

I'm glad you've decided to try again in the future. NA isn't for everyone, but those who enjoy it, get SO much out of it. I went for a few months, but just couldn't hack it, so I stopped going to meetings (I go every once in a while with my sponsor) yet I'm still in contact with my sponsor every day. He understanRAB that meetings just weren't my piece of cake and didn't try to pressure me, however he still supports me and is there for me every day.

At first in NA, I thought of using whenever I heard my drug of choice but that dissipated over time. Technically, folks in NA aren't "supposed" to mention their drug of choice, but that rule is hardly ever enforced so it was hard to swallow at times, but I managed.

So, the nightmares are still an issue eh? Perhaps, try drinking chamomile tea and/or having a hot bath instead of using sleeping pills, as one of the symptoms of them are nightmares. Just a thought. Do you sweat when you have the nightmares?

I hope last night was better for you. Keep in touch. I'm going to do some research today, in hopes of finding a solution for you :)

Sincerely,
emsmom
 
Secrets1983;

Hey how are you? :D Its good to hear from you!!
Im doing ok at the moment :) i have a few things to deal with but im in the process of sorting them out. Im doing a lot better than when i first came on here!!
How have you been? How are things going with you? I hope you are doing well and getting lots of rest ( you sound very busy!)
Look forward to hearing from you :angel:
Rach x :)
 
56789;

Im not sure if its the antidepressants or the counselling or both but im feeling so much better these days. Im fully prepared for the bad days, i know theyre going to come, but at least now im learning strategies to cope with them instead of reaching for my pipe! :D I still wake up some days dreading what may be ahead but i dont hide from it any more. I actually look forward to coming to work now so i can jump on the computer and see how you are all doing :)
I hope you are doing well today Scott :) I hope you are all having an awesome day with lots to laugh about :jester: even if it means snuggling down with a crazy dvd and locking your doors :)
Rach xox
 
you already are rach, you have helped me an others tramendasly . just for the heck of it try aa , you should get a hold of someone right away , most of us are dualy addicted, you secerets an others have helped me to reach 1 more day , to 5 years today , i realy was having a tough time but you ladys helped me threw, i am so grateful, an to hear your doing well , i rode my bike a couple times this week , an i stay busy it realy helps thanx again an i will talk to you soon :):p:wave:scott, ya i know i have some stuff that has surfaced in the last few years ,im working on another 4th step , just staying clean for now will be great, you will work on those issues in time no pressure , i will pray for you :wave:
 
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