One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift . . .
The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's when the fight started...
I asked my wife, “Where do you want to go for our anniversary?” It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
“Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!” she said.
So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'
And that's how the fight started...
My wife and I were watching ‘Who Wants To Be A Millionaire’ while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, “Do you want to have sex?”
“No!”' she answered.
I then asked her, “Is that your final answer?”
She didn't even look at me this time, simply replying “Yes.”
So I said, “Then I'd like to phone a friend.”
And that's when the fight started...
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first…
“I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please..”
He said, “Aren't you worried about the mad cow?”
“Nah, she can order for herself.”
And that's when the fight started...
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping the channels.
She asked, “What's on TV?”
I said, “Dust.”
And that's how the fight started...
My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, “Do you know him?”
“Yes,” she sighed, “He’s an old boyfriend... I heard he took to drinking right after we split up all those years ago, and that he hasn't been sober since.”
“My God!” I said, “Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?”
And that's how the fight started...
When our lawn mower broke down, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed so that I could mow the lawns. Somehow I always had something else to take care of first .. . . the truck, the car, playing golf . . . always something much more important to me.
Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
I arrived home one day to find her sitting in the tall grass that used to be the front lawn, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was only gone a minute, and when I came out again I handed her an old toothbrush . .. . ..
I said, “When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.”
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp !!!!
The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's when the fight started...
I asked my wife, “Where do you want to go for our anniversary?” It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
“Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!” she said.
So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'
And that's how the fight started...
My wife and I were watching ‘Who Wants To Be A Millionaire’ while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, “Do you want to have sex?”
“No!”' she answered.
I then asked her, “Is that your final answer?”
She didn't even look at me this time, simply replying “Yes.”
So I said, “Then I'd like to phone a friend.”
And that's when the fight started...
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first…
“I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please..”
He said, “Aren't you worried about the mad cow?”
“Nah, she can order for herself.”
And that's when the fight started...
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping the channels.
She asked, “What's on TV?”
I said, “Dust.”
And that's how the fight started...
My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, “Do you know him?”
“Yes,” she sighed, “He’s an old boyfriend... I heard he took to drinking right after we split up all those years ago, and that he hasn't been sober since.”
“My God!” I said, “Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?”
And that's how the fight started...
When our lawn mower broke down, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed so that I could mow the lawns. Somehow I always had something else to take care of first .. . . the truck, the car, playing golf . . . always something much more important to me.
Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
I arrived home one day to find her sitting in the tall grass that used to be the front lawn, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was only gone a minute, and when I came out again I handed her an old toothbrush . .. . ..
I said, “When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.”
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp !!!!