is this an eating disorder?

[LaLa]

i have always struggled with weight and for the past 4 years i have even more so...after gaining weight i dieted and got really healthy and was successful but then i wasnt working and got depressed and basically binged and occasionally made myself vomit, then i after weighing myself it made me more depressed but i continued binging instead of putting more weight i learned if i threw up just enough i'd remain the same weight and then i dieted lost some weight and was really happy but cause my mind was on dieting any day i screwed up i'd throw up and lately i've gotten myself into the routine of binging again but not throwing up because i hate throwing up so much ....what am i? its not really bulimia because i dont throw up everything i eat only enough to not gain n not everyday and i haven't thrown up in about 6 months. thankyou so much if u took the time to read this ... if anyones been through this or knows about this i'd like to learn how to kick this once and for all i 've never spoken to anyone about this so when i say i need support to diet people don't understand how messed up my diet pattern really is