Is this a good symbolism poem?

kennetta j

New member
I'm new at this and i suck...but this is a mixture of early modern english( or middle english) and today's modern english



Thou art beautiful in forms
never seen anything likest
thy face awakens my soul
my blood runs white through my veins
comest to me and i shall be thy moon
so you can be thy sword
I willest walk thy great wall of china just to be with you



first line: you are so beautiful
second line: my eye's have never seen anything like you
third line: your face is so beautiful my soul smiles
fourth line: i am pure ( virgin)
fifth line: come to me and i shall be your light
sixth line: and you shall be my protector, man, strenght etc
seventh line: i'll walk eternity to be with you ( the great wall of china is very very long!!)

i know it don't make since and these are my translations and what it means to me if they are wrong. thanks for reading
 
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