D
Daisie L
Guest
The Mystery.
When I picked up the Oxford Mail and Doris my wife of 48 years said “Oh my lord that is terrible that poor little girl, Henry what do you think my duck?” I was in disbelief, Doris walked into the kitchen and started making my dinner, my favourite, steak and kidney pie, I started to read the article when I discovered that the young girl was my grand-daughter, I shouted Doris trembling and in fear she came into the room and said “Are you ok dear?” I shown her the article she shook in disagreement, she then collapsed into the plumped up pink velvet soft chair, she told me to read out the article I trembled, I took a deep breath and started to read out loud “This tragic accident happened last night at about 6 pm, Lucy Robins was walking her dog on the abounded train track in Wheatley she crossed the train track with no ends and that’s when she got hit but there is a mystery, there is no line either side so what was she hit by? Bonnie Mitchell an eye witness said she saw there was no one there and she saw a white dusty figure like a train cross the rusty brown metal train track”
Doris was in complete shock, so engaged she did not realise I stopped, I carried on reading eager to know more “Lucy looked left and right even though she knows there is no end to the track but she crossed then got hit but the dog ran off into the distance, I took the dog to the police and they have took it somewhere confidential they would not tell me where”.
“Put the dog through the memory talker 3000”
Please tell me what i need to improve on and how.
i am 12 years old
When I picked up the Oxford Mail and Doris my wife of 48 years said “Oh my lord that is terrible that poor little girl, Henry what do you think my duck?” I was in disbelief, Doris walked into the kitchen and started making my dinner, my favourite, steak and kidney pie, I started to read the article when I discovered that the young girl was my grand-daughter, I shouted Doris trembling and in fear she came into the room and said “Are you ok dear?” I shown her the article she shook in disagreement, she then collapsed into the plumped up pink velvet soft chair, she told me to read out the article I trembled, I took a deep breath and started to read out loud “This tragic accident happened last night at about 6 pm, Lucy Robins was walking her dog on the abounded train track in Wheatley she crossed the train track with no ends and that’s when she got hit but there is a mystery, there is no line either side so what was she hit by? Bonnie Mitchell an eye witness said she saw there was no one there and she saw a white dusty figure like a train cross the rusty brown metal train track”
Doris was in complete shock, so engaged she did not realise I stopped, I carried on reading eager to know more “Lucy looked left and right even though she knows there is no end to the track but she crossed then got hit but the dog ran off into the distance, I took the dog to the police and they have took it somewhere confidential they would not tell me where”.
“Put the dog through the memory talker 3000”
Please tell me what i need to improve on and how.
i am 12 years old