Is there any room for a little dark humor in the health care debate?

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Doctor: Hi Jim, I'm glad you picked up.

Jim: Hi doc, how ya been?

Doctor: I'm okay Jim, it's about your wife. She's been involved in a terrible accident.

Jim: Oh, no!

Doctor, Yes Jim, I'm sorry to tell you this but she's in pretty bad shape. We'll be able to patch her back together but I'm afraid it's going to eat up the maximum benefit your insurance company is required to spend on her. When she gets out of the hospital she's going to need full time care--feeding, bed pan, regular turnings to reduce bed sores. She won't be able to speak correctly but she will be able to see and communicate through nods and such. You're going to have to care for her yourself or get a better job Jim if you want assistance with the maintainance.

Jim: Oh no, no, NO!

Doctor: Just kidding Jim, she died. What'd you score on the golf course yesterday?
 
My doctor told me that "1 out of 3 people who start smoking will eventually die."

The other two apparently become immortal.

A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter.

Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them.... they are bound to be curious about sex at that age."

"Curious about sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her bloody appendix out!"

"Won't you kiss me, doctor," asks a beautiful woman.
"No, it would be against my code of ethics," says the doctor.
"Please just one kiss," begs the woman.
"It's completely out of the question," he goes on. "I shouldn't even really be having sex with you."

My doctor reckons I'm paranoid.
He didn't say it, but I know he's thinking it.
 
And the government would even spend less as she would never be a productive member of society and violate the terms of Ezekiel Emanuel's Complete Lives Plan.
 
And the government would even spend less as she would never be a productive member of society and violate the terms of Ezekiel Emanuel's Complete Lives Plan.
 
Yes, but those on the right take it the wrong way. Mind you, many outside the USA consider the healthcare system of the USA to be a sick joke. (Please note, this is not the health care provided once payment is agreed.)

FACT - Insurance companies in the USA admit to pushing up prices, buying politicians and not paying out claims when they should
FACT - PER PERSON the USA spends more on healthcare than any other nation on the planet
FACT - Obama debated his plans before the election for healthcare
FACT - the chance of a child under five of dying in the USA is greater than industrialised nations with universal health coverage
FACT - Obama was elected by the American people to bring in change
FACT - Obama wants to stop insurance companies from screwing the American people
FACT - The reforms Obama wants work in the Netherlands and Switzerland
 
doc: "greetings.citizen 8376942. i have the honor of informing you that your wife has been deemed eligible for that infected sore on her leg to be drained, and the ministry of health has scheduled her procedure for 2037'

jim: "but my wife is dead...after 2 months of trying to find a doctor who wasn't afraid of losing his license by performing procedures outside the scope of 0bamacare, the infected sore turned gangrenous, and since the 0bamessiah declared that amputations cost $50,000, it was not cost-effective, she wasn't treated and passed away."

Doc: "in that case, we will need to re-evaluate your coverage; as a widower, you are more prone to poor nutritional habits, depression, and substance abuse. someone will be contacting you regarding 'quality of life' counseling...Hope and Change, Citizen 8376492"

Jim: "Hope and Change"

Doc: "and turn off that air conditioner-the monitor shows that your house is all the way down to 78 degrees fahrenheit...What Would Algore Do?"
 
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