is there a calm after a storm?

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§ Baby's Blues §

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Let the darkness hide my face
while the moon looks full
the clouds obscure
the stars
in coverlets of lace
And of my thoughts, let none impure
escape my lips into the night
Let my body find release
from fight or flight
give it some peace
a sweet respite
Let it wrap me in its warmth
keep my dreams in harmony
And may the fire on my hearth
burn on into eternity
 
I am of the opinion that the last 4 lines are very powerful and should dictate to the rest of the poem

I see your beautiful poem like this:-


A sweet respite

Let the darkness hide my face
while the moon looks upon me
Let the clouds obscure the stars
in coverlets of lace agree

Let it wrap me in its warmth
keep my dreams in harmony
And the fire on my hearth
burn on into eternity

All my thoughts, let none impure
While my body finds release
nor lips escape into the night
In fight or flight searching for peace
 
Aye, and burn it does... there are some fascinating slippages here between contiguous syntactic units, and the choice of 'reading frame' makes of this two distinct, though related, poems. A lovely bit of vers libre.
 
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