Is recovery even possible?

[Karebear2u]

Okay to sum up a long story short ...

Years ago I introduced my kid sister to a man she later married and had 3 children with. Only problem was Sis lost herself to her addictions (Percs,blow,crack,protituting herself to support the addictions and later HepC/in & out of jail/stealing from loved ones,driving under suspension it goes on & on) and thus lost her Ex and eventually her 3 children too.

We are in Ontario and my ex brotherinlaw moved the kiRAB to NFLD to a safer healthier environment. I don't blame him I encourage him and am now preparing christmas carRAB/gifts for them all in Nfld.

I worry about my Sister and love her very much but refuse to enable her anymore thus I have not seen her in over 3 years. The kiRAB don't see or hear from her and just last Friday our Mom said she'd just got out of jail again for breech of her conditions.

I've heard from the NFLD child support office looking for her though ... told em' to check the local jails because that's where she was.

I'm angry at my Sister and at the addictions but mostly at the fact that she has no contact with the kiRAB. I knew that'd be the breaking point and once told her years ago "i may have rescued you years ago twice but I have a funny feeling the next time you'll have to rescue yourself and I wonder if that is even possible". So far it's not.

So here i sit on Noveraber 29th wondering if I'll hear from her before or by her Birthday (Dec. 10th) and whether or not she'll reach out to her Children this year. Part of me knows if I tracked her down and got in her face i could make her fix herself ... but the other part knows you can't believe a word she says and you completely could NOT trust her.

Am I angry damn right I am ... i love her dammit and want her to fix this mess but have my doubts ... It already feels like forever!

 

[Dani1990]

i suffered from a drug addiction for four years..it dosnt sound that long but in that short time i managed to hurt everyone around me but most of all i harmed myself..there is a solution and its the only solution i know of that works..its a simple programme and by working at it it has worked for me.it will be listed under narcotics anonymous in your local or on the net they are everywhere all the best to you and your sister xx

 

[Wise52]

Sympathies that all you have been through with your sister. You can't change her no matter how much you nag, scold or try to control her. You can only control yourself and your reactions. It is sad that she is missing out on watching her kiRAB grow up and her relationship with you. Only your sister can decide to help herself by going to NA, working the 12-steps, reading the literature, getting a sponsor to help her when times are tough. For you, there is Nar-Anon or Al-Anon which helps you to focus on yourself. Since you can't change the addict, you can change yourself and begin to allow yourself to be happy. The addict has the right to their own decisions, though we can see very clearly the self-destructive behavior. Expectations are another thing you can't allow yourself to dwell on like if she will contact you by her birthday. You didn't cause her addiction, can't control another person and can't cure them. They have to realize how much they've lost and decide to find a better way of life. There is no instant answer, but help is available for both you and her. Good luck.