Is my SHORT poem any good?

S

Sundown

New member
title: (quiet) dance


fireflies
tiptoe
through a windbrushed night

iridescent wings
erupt
a million
sea-green tassels
burning the black sky

like fireworks they slide
down
into moonpainted black shadows

with a blaze they awaken
with a glimpse they disappear








Do you like it? What do you think it means?
Is it strong/powerful/meaningful?
Any thing you would change, or any suggestions for improvement?
 
strong images. your strongest lines to me are the first 3 opening lines.
keep writing though.
 
It's going for it, but the images are stale. This kind of poem doesn't get much of a rise from me anyway, even the well-written ones.
 
Back
Top