is my poetry any good? please be honest...i wont be offended?

C

Cookie777

New member
It's not bad for your age. I think I like the lines "I felt as if I were an eagle, Flying without fear; As other birds looked on in awe" the best. That is probably because I like writing poetry about birds. I started thinking about a flock of pigeons who stopped strutting and pestering someone with a bag of stale bread crusts, to look up and coo at an eagle passing overhead. Then I thought about a flock of nervous, shy mourning doves sitting in a row on a telephone line, who saw this eagle in the distance, then when it passed they held their heads up a little higher--one because they were safe, and two because they noticed the eagle's posture and flying technique. So maybe you could write a sequel to this poem and go more into details about how being an eagle influences others.
 
i'm in 9th grade and ive been writing poetry for a little while now...i really love writing and i used to write short stories but now i like poetry...i really want to know if this is any good...PLEASE BE HONEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I felt as if I had jumped out of a plane
Without a parachute,
As if I was drowning in waters
Just three inches deep;
As if the wind had suddenly been knocked out of me,
As if I was climbing a mountain too steep.
"Is this too much for me?" I wondered.
"Oh G-d, just help me, please.
I don't think I can take it any longer."
And with that I fell to my knees.
But something willed me up again,
I gathered my courage, my strength;
And I worked my way up that mountain,
Up the whole great length.
As I climbed that steep, steep mountain,
All my panic disappeared;
I felt as if I could do it,
My head was totally cleared.
I felt as if I were an eagle,
Flying without fear;
As other birds looked on in awe,
As if, to the end, I was near.
Suddenly I slipped,
And the ground campe up to meet my face,
As I tumbled my way, all the way down,
I knew I had lost the race.
The race of conquering my fears,
Before they surfaced again;
I tried my best, I gave my all,
But I couldn't make it to the end.
 
i love it ! but could make a sugg. ? maybe you could try a good ending where you don't lose. but then again if your being honest i guess you might feel that way ,it's very beautiful! if only the people in my ninth grade class could have been that smart they're poems sucked lol.
 
Back
Top