Is it wrong to be jealous of my Brother-In-Law?

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SoniaP

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I have been married for about 30 years. Yes I know that sounds like a long time but it does go by very fast. I always thought that the longer a person was married the easier it would get but I am finding out that is not the case. My husband was laid off about three months ago and I know that is part of the problem as he has too much time on his hands but he is now even more away from the home then when he was working and it is always with my brother-in-law. I work full time, have done so for 20 years with the same company. I get up every morning and go to work then I come home around 5:00PM every day and most days he is not home. Usually by 7:00 or 8:00PM he'll come home and act like nothing is wrong. He'll eat then fall asleep in about 30 minuetes from the time he came home. On weekends he makes excuses to leave the house early and he is gone most of the day. He usually goes to a bar with my Brother-In-Law or over at his house to drink beer with him. Now let me tell you my husband and my brother-in-law also like to smoke pot so this they also have in common. Also my brother-in-law is unemployed too so he also has time to just sit around. But I am feeling very lonely. My husband never wants to do anything I suggest. We used to go walking in the park, or hiking or he would invite me to go for a ride on his motorcycle with him. Now there is nothing coming from him. This last sunday he got up and was all excited because the brother-in-law was going to come over to our house to watch the football game with him. My husband has never liked football much and to see him all animated and excited with his eyes opened wide reminded me of a guy that was getting ready to meet a girl that he liked. I mean he took off to the store and bought all kinds of goodies, crackers etc and of course beer and then when my brother-in-law came over he was a totaly different guy than what I see on a daily basis. He was laughing and joking, etc. It really made me feel hurt inside that he was so damned happy interacting with my brother-in-law and not much of a glance my way. I really had to leave the house and do something else to calm down. Am I wrong for the way I feel?
Sorry...This is not his brother but my sisters husband.
 
yeah, that sucks!

I would separate and find a real man and tell him go marry his brother!

hubby seems to have forgotten your worth. Only way is to leave and let the two with no jobs survive then!

If hubby really loves you, he should say sorry and you two should set some boundaries, like hubby home at 5pm and Fridays and/or Saturdays with you doing something.

get things ready now, like living, etc, and pull rug from under him, drop him like a bad habit. Tell him if he wants in this marriage it takes two. He might as well be with brother.
 
Well marriage for 30 yrs is long. It is perfectly normal for this to happen and the sad thing is he doesn't even realize how bad it is effecting you. You need to sit down and really express to him that you need him more in your life. You need to tell him how bad you hurt. You need to tell him that your not so sure he loves you anymore. If he is not willing to work things out for you and be their for YOU, then you may need to start thinking of alternatives. Marriage counseling can be an option as well. I would recommend reading a book called loving yourself. It is a tiny pink book but it is power full and very enlightening. Good luck and hopefully you can work things out.
 
Noo, I would feel exactly the way you do. Its not right, hes married you, not your brother-in-law. Have you tried talking to him? Orr maybe you can do the same with your friends and see his response?
 
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