I was at the bar the other night and some guy I was talking to (who seemed totally non-creepy) asked if he could buy me a drink, I said yes and he did. My boyfriend doesn't like this.
NOW NOW hold up! I am in no way an "attention whore" just leading guys on or using them... please read my points:
1) This guy wasn't disrespectful or coming off as sexual, he didn't put his arm around me or call me beautiful or say "hey baby". We had a hardcore chat about politics (how un-sexy right?) and that was it. I didn't flirt, and he wasn't touching me or flirting with me, so I feel that I did no wrong.
2) I'm not so naieve to think that he was GENUINELY interested in what I had to say, but still, I'm taking it at face value. I was not using him for his drink, I enjoyed talking to him and feel that I had made a friend. I feel that even if his intentions were otherwise, that's not my business to turn down a kind gesture just because I assume other things. (really, think about it, in any situation where a random boy does something nice for you (even holding the door!) it's probably because he thinks you're pretty... should you turn that down?)
3) I don't feel that I was using the boy who bought me a drink or leading him on... I didn't flirt, I treated him like a friend (boys will probably hate me for that... and say I'm a tease
) I don't think that's wrong though! He was nice to me, I was nice to him, it was pleasent but not suggestive and the only boy for me is still my boyfriend. I feel like I shouldn't feel that I'm not worth having someone buy me a drink unless I'm willing to give them a b|owjob... that may be the guy's intention, but I feel worth more than that (whether or not anyone else agrees). SO, if someone's willing to do something nice, I'm going to accept it, no matter what their intentions are.
I've been told that by accepting his drink I am signifying that I also want what he wants... SORRY but that shouldn't be my problem. If you look at a guy a lot of times they could think "oh she wants me", should I not be allowed to look at boys? So that they don't get the wrong idea? Making it my fault? Come on now.
Ps. I am so NOT slutty when I'm drunk, so that is never an issue.
I know that in a lot of cases it can be bad to accept drinks from guys... especially if they're being really forceful, degrading, and seriously trying to get with you. But in my case, I don't think I was wrong (but I'm willing to hear good arguments for why I was! Just know that I HONESTLY didn't think I was doing anything wrong).
One more thing: If accepting drinks is like "cheating", then if you're single, and you accept drinks from 5 different guys in one night, are you a HUGE s|ut? I don't think so... but if accepting drinks really is so bad, then that would be the case right?
NOW NOW hold up! I am in no way an "attention whore" just leading guys on or using them... please read my points:
1) This guy wasn't disrespectful or coming off as sexual, he didn't put his arm around me or call me beautiful or say "hey baby". We had a hardcore chat about politics (how un-sexy right?) and that was it. I didn't flirt, and he wasn't touching me or flirting with me, so I feel that I did no wrong.
2) I'm not so naieve to think that he was GENUINELY interested in what I had to say, but still, I'm taking it at face value. I was not using him for his drink, I enjoyed talking to him and feel that I had made a friend. I feel that even if his intentions were otherwise, that's not my business to turn down a kind gesture just because I assume other things. (really, think about it, in any situation where a random boy does something nice for you (even holding the door!) it's probably because he thinks you're pretty... should you turn that down?)
3) I don't feel that I was using the boy who bought me a drink or leading him on... I didn't flirt, I treated him like a friend (boys will probably hate me for that... and say I'm a tease
) I don't think that's wrong though! He was nice to me, I was nice to him, it was pleasent but not suggestive and the only boy for me is still my boyfriend. I feel like I shouldn't feel that I'm not worth having someone buy me a drink unless I'm willing to give them a b|owjob... that may be the guy's intention, but I feel worth more than that (whether or not anyone else agrees). SO, if someone's willing to do something nice, I'm going to accept it, no matter what their intentions are. I've been told that by accepting his drink I am signifying that I also want what he wants... SORRY but that shouldn't be my problem. If you look at a guy a lot of times they could think "oh she wants me", should I not be allowed to look at boys? So that they don't get the wrong idea? Making it my fault? Come on now
.Ps. I am so NOT slutty when I'm drunk, so that is never an issue.
I know that in a lot of cases it can be bad to accept drinks from guys... especially if they're being really forceful, degrading, and seriously trying to get with you. But in my case, I don't think I was wrong (but I'm willing to hear good arguments for why I was! Just know that I HONESTLY didn't think I was doing anything wrong).
One more thing: If accepting drinks is like "cheating", then if you're single, and you accept drinks from 5 different guys in one night, are you a HUGE s|ut?
I don't think so... but if accepting drinks really is so bad, then that would be the case right?