Pboy,
Just to make sure i understand your question...have you been suffering from anxiety for over 20 years?
Anxiety is a treatable illness. Have you had any help with your anxiety? I highly recommend it. I became very anxious following a traumatic medical emergency (4 strokes). When my doctors finally pointed it out to me, I got medication. From the very first day, I felt great relief, and although I occasionally still get anxious, I now have it under control, instead of the other way around.
Wishing you the best.