CloserToLove
New member
I didn't know exactly where to go for help with this, so I firgured someone here would know. Also I didn't know which board to put it on since it deals with a bunch of different topics.
I just turned 17, and have pretty much been a weakling all my life. I would get scared if someone yelled at me or if I made a mistake and would cry a lot. I know young kids do that, but I would all the time. Things that wouldn't physically hurt other people much would bruise me and I would cry. This lasted until I was 12, so even in Middle School/Jr. High, I would always cry at things that other people say I'm being a baby. I couldn't help it, it was an automatic reaction and I hated myself for it. It got to the point where me crying was an everyday thing, and people expected it. Some people said I was just "sensitive" to make me feel better. Even in Jr. High, I did cry a few times, I would cover it up though. So you can guess that I'm basically useless if someone tries to attack me or something (luckily, it hasn't happened yet) and I can't defend myself at all.
For reasons as to why... I'm not exactly sure. There could be a bunch and I've come up with a few theories. Maybe I was born this way, or have some type of defect? Although I think my mom didn't smoke or drink while she had me. Someone suggested I may have a protein deficiency... therefore no muscle, but I do consume protein, unless I can't digest it correctly. Theory #2 is I wasn't raised to be tough or defend myself, which is definately true since my parent really didn't seem to care how they raised me or if I fit in socially. Or maybe this is just the way some people are.
Anyway, the main point: I don't want to be weak anymore. I'm sick of being afraid to get birthday punches from friends, because I'm afraid they may hurt me and I may start crying and it'd be really embarrassing, especailly in high school, and as a guy, since guys really aren't accepted to cry. So; is it possible for me to become tough and strong? Or atleast at a healthier strength? I'm really sick of being afraid of everything.
I know this will probably take serious committment though, but I'd like to see a change in 10 years. The thing is, I don't know how I'd go about this. Anyone have any ideas? I'll take any advice, but I doubt I'll get to it soon. I hate excuses, but at the moment I have problems with depression and my motivation is at 0. It'd probably definately involve exercising I guess.
I just sort of feel like I don't fit my gender role properly. I know that gender roles in society are bs but I just have no confidence.
Thanks to anyone who read all this and has any advice.
I just turned 17, and have pretty much been a weakling all my life. I would get scared if someone yelled at me or if I made a mistake and would cry a lot. I know young kids do that, but I would all the time. Things that wouldn't physically hurt other people much would bruise me and I would cry. This lasted until I was 12, so even in Middle School/Jr. High, I would always cry at things that other people say I'm being a baby. I couldn't help it, it was an automatic reaction and I hated myself for it. It got to the point where me crying was an everyday thing, and people expected it. Some people said I was just "sensitive" to make me feel better. Even in Jr. High, I did cry a few times, I would cover it up though. So you can guess that I'm basically useless if someone tries to attack me or something (luckily, it hasn't happened yet) and I can't defend myself at all.
For reasons as to why... I'm not exactly sure. There could be a bunch and I've come up with a few theories. Maybe I was born this way, or have some type of defect? Although I think my mom didn't smoke or drink while she had me. Someone suggested I may have a protein deficiency... therefore no muscle, but I do consume protein, unless I can't digest it correctly. Theory #2 is I wasn't raised to be tough or defend myself, which is definately true since my parent really didn't seem to care how they raised me or if I fit in socially. Or maybe this is just the way some people are.
Anyway, the main point: I don't want to be weak anymore. I'm sick of being afraid to get birthday punches from friends, because I'm afraid they may hurt me and I may start crying and it'd be really embarrassing, especailly in high school, and as a guy, since guys really aren't accepted to cry. So; is it possible for me to become tough and strong? Or atleast at a healthier strength? I'm really sick of being afraid of everything.
I know this will probably take serious committment though, but I'd like to see a change in 10 years. The thing is, I don't know how I'd go about this. Anyone have any ideas? I'll take any advice, but I doubt I'll get to it soon. I hate excuses, but at the moment I have problems with depression and my motivation is at 0. It'd probably definately involve exercising I guess.
I just sort of feel like I don't fit my gender role properly. I know that gender roles in society are bs but I just have no confidence.
Thanks to anyone who read all this and has any advice.