Is it her culture or is my friend truly just stuck up?

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BabyDeer27

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My friend is Lithuanian and has been in the U.S. for less than 10 years. Everyday that I talk to her I get the feeling that she is just truly stuck up, but I do not say anything to her. She tells me every week of the nice things her husband takes her to, like sports events, theater shows, concerts, etc. And it seems she does not like anything. She states it was okay, but she will not go again. Meanwhile, others would LOVE for their husbands to do such things for them. Maybe it's just not the type of stuff she is into, but then it makes me wonder is she interested in ANYTHING besides shopping, maybe? On another note, I had a sweater that she liked and I told her where I had purchased it. She came in another weeks with a similar sweater so I told her I liked it and she had told me how she went shopping with her husband to buy it, but didn't get it in the same store where I had bought mine because it was "cheap" looking. Should I take offense to that? Did she realize she just insulted me? How to you explain these things to someone who doesn't understand well before they come across the wrong person who will not be as nice?
sorry, her husband told her it was cheap looking
 
It doesn't take anywhere NEAR 10 years of living in a new country to learn what's acceptable and what's not acceptable behavior in that new place. I've never personally met someone from Lithuania, though I do have a couple of friends who were born and raised in other Baltic countries, and I've not found them to be stuck up, show-off-y, or anything but extremely hospitable, kind, and courteous.

My guess would be that this woman was brought up in a poor family, and has now found some level of prosperity here in the states and is so insecure about it that she's acting like a snob. I would have taken her comment about the sweater as an insult. I truly believe that she is aware of the results of her actions. She knows she insulted you. I cannot advise you as to whether or not to continue your friendship with her, that's not for me to say. But I would not permit a friend to treat me that way on a continual basis.
 
It doesn't take anywhere NEAR 10 years of living in a new country to learn what's acceptable and what's not acceptable behavior in that new place. I've never personally met someone from Lithuania, though I do have a couple of friends who were born and raised in other Baltic countries, and I've not found them to be stuck up, show-off-y, or anything but extremely hospitable, kind, and courteous.

My guess would be that this woman was brought up in a poor family, and has now found some level of prosperity here in the states and is so insecure about it that she's acting like a snob. I would have taken her comment about the sweater as an insult. I truly believe that she is aware of the results of her actions. She knows she insulted you. I cannot advise you as to whether or not to continue your friendship with her, that's not for me to say. But I would not permit a friend to treat me that way on a continual basis.
 
I think she may live in a bubble where she just doesn't consider other's feeling or she is a total boor.
Yikes - your sweater is cheap looking. That's rude and uncalled for. She sounds spoiled rotten. Has she ever worked a day in her life? Does she have self-respect? She doesn't seem to consider your feelings or anyone else's. She thinks that everyone has what she has? It sounds like she couldn't care less. I have encountered people like these. One man was buying a townhome and I mentioned where I live. He said that's fine for you but not for me. He was close to retirement age. I thought I lived in a pretty nice area in a pretty nice place. It wasn't super luxurious but it was new and to my taste. But it's like - hey I work hard to be able to afford this place. There was a better way to say what he said - one that was considerate. Thank you but I found a place that I just love.

I think it may kill people to be nice and considerate of others.
It's rare. Do you find that too?
 
From this little bit you told me, it sounds to me that she's a little stuck up. But I don't think she meant to insult you about the sweater, maybe she's just one of those people who don't think about what they say before they say it. But next time, if you feel slighted by her, bring it up to her right then and there, don't wait, then maybe she'll think before saying.
 
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