I think you have no choice. He is her father and better to let her know now then to ask you someday and find out you just didn't want to tell her or something. It doesn't mean you have to let him be in it enough to influence her or be a bad example to her. Just let him visit her and be her dad. Its not that you cant meet someone someday that is great for you and her. Allowing him to see her and be her dad wouldn't prevent that in the least bit. I also wouldn't expect much from him...let him know her and when she says she doesn't want to be around him then dont make her...just let him come visit her. When shes old enough you can explain that he is her father and she doesn't have to like what he does but love him for being the person that helped create her.
My 2 1/2 week old baby's father left me at 7 months pregnant with all of our rent and bills and moved in with a 19 yr old single mother after he slept with her in my house. He'll be 31 and has a kid who is 7 and has joint custody... he screwed it up with that mother too. He refuses to grow up... smokes marijuana and drinks. He doesn't have much to offer my daughter I don't think. I did think he had a lot to offer until he really showed me who he really is and I learned from other people that he isn't who I thought he was. His other daughter tells her mom that she really hates going to his new place with his lazy ditz of a girlfriend who he basically is using to not have to be responsible for the situation with me. She tells her mom that she knows her dad isn't a good person but she loves him because he's her dad but doesn't like him. He is not a creep but he is not that great of a role model right now and he blames everything on everyone else when he causes all of his problems. He doesn't do anything to better himself. Both of us who have given birth to his children experienced his unsupportive attitude and his mean words and putdowns which made us believe he has a bad attitude towards women. When I found out I was having a girl he got upset and told his other daughter that he really didn't want another daughter. He isn't a bad guy and there is some good but he is pretty much clueless when it comes to what being a father means..pretty much don't leave your pregnant fiance to find a place to live 3 months before she has your baby!!!! My baby is 2 1/2 weeks old and her father wants to be in her life.. but he has not contributed a penny yet and wants to come around... I don't think my baby needs a father that just comes around when he wants. But is this better than nothing... or should I just wait and hope that one day a real man comes around to show her what a man is supposed to be like.
I really thought I knew my fiance but I guess when things get hard people show their true nature and his turned out not to be very good. What is your opinion.. and please don't blame me for my choice of her father because everyone inlcuding my family thought he was a really good guy. I have since learned that his family doesn't think much of him and he lied to me a lot about his past. Thanks
I would still let him. But maybe if you really dont think he should be, limit his time. And argue that he doesnt contribute nething so he doesnt get a lot of time. But having both parents around (if neither are harmful to the child) will probably be more beneficial.
Make him pay, and let him in her life on your terms....no smokeing drinking or being high around her.
He will probably grow up in a couple of years and may be a great dad.
